What Is the Worst Marriage Proposal?


(upbeat music) (dramatic music) – Aristotle, Descartes, Nietzsche, and now, Katie Marovitch, me. For centuries, the world’s
most brilliant philosophers have pondered the many
questions of the universe. Join me as we continue
this quest for knowledge. This is The Rank Room. (dramatic music) Tonight’s question is what is
the worst marriage proposal? I’m Katie Marovitch, and today I am joined by experts Michael Trapp. – That’s my name. – Caldwell Tanner. – My name is that. – Grant O’Brien. – Is also my name. – Grant, please begin. – Absolutely, I’d like to submit as the worst marriage proposal a flash mob. – Mm. – Yeah, you’re walking
across the Brooklyn Bridge. – Great bridge. – You’re having a
beautiful, Autumn afternoon. New York crisp air blowing up the river and all of the sudden, a bunch of strangers start
singing Elton John’s Your Song at you, now the harmonies are great, but you’re surrounded by
people you don’t know, and just when the song
hits the high point, somebody kneels down and
proposes marriage to you. – What a terrible idea the
public proposal is in general. – As a rule. – And it feels like it’s
held up as being like, oh, how romantic, and just
like, a generally awful idea. – What if you making
this important decision hinges upon the judgment and
opinions of several strangers who are just bearing down
on you from both sides. Both sides? Going this way on the bridge– – Surrounded. I wanna be clear too. – Where are they on the bridge? – The hump. – Is there any escape? – There’s not, there’s not. – So they have, they have
emerged from both sides. – That’s right. I participated in this
particular proposal too, I was hired as a singer. – You’re implicit! – The other thing with flash
mob is it becomes a worse marriage proposal the farther we get from like 2008. – Flash mobs are done. – [Katie] Oh yeah. – They were done years ago. – Like a big group dancing in a mall, it shouldn’t, that doesn’t
happen anymore, right? – There’d be a like a
legitimate concerns like, these are maybe Nazi’s,
like what is happening? (laughing) – Yeah, the world has changed. We can’t handle flash mobs anymore. – She said no right? – She said yes. – Wow. – Which undermined my point a little bit, but she said yes. (laughing) But I didn’t like it. – Tonight I would like to propose as the worst marriage proposal, a special interest cruise. Mine exists more in the realm
of theoretical than Grants, which seems like a real
thing that happened to him. – Yes, it was. – But since mine is theoretical,
I would like to submit that a worse marriage
proposal obviously means that the person says no. – That makes sense. – So with that in mind, they’re saying no, you’ve already booked passage on this cruise, so once they’ve said no, you have at least a week left to share in a very tiny room with them. The fact that it’s a
special interest cruise means that it was probably a cheap cruise. – For clarity, like a
special interest cruise, we’re talking about like, you know– – I’m thinking something
either like maybe everyone on the cruise is a ventriloquist, maybe it’s a character cruise but they didn’t get copyrighted
characters, so it’s knockoff stuff like you know, cookie enjoyer. – It’s a three 11 cruise. – And Gambit the toad, you
know, things like that. Three 11? – Yeah, the band. – The band yeah. – Not the date. (laughing) – Never forget. – So do you see them as being
interested in the hobby? – No, they’re not even into it, especially the partner
who’s being proposed to, certainly not into it. – I wanna go back to
something you said before, which I think is notable
for a bad proposal, which is you do it on like
day two of a five day event. – You do it way too early. – [Katie] Yes. – You gotta wait, generally, right? – Absolutely. – You gotta put that at the end. – Yeah, that has to be the end after a perfect vacation. – And then both of yours so far involve being trapped on bodies of water. It’s like there’s nothing
but water around you. – It is bad. – You are in decision jail,
that is what a proposal is. – You’re surrounded by water
and people singing at you. – I’m also, I’m baffled when I find out about people who’ve proposed and didn’t discuss it in depth before-hand. – Oh yeah. – ‘Cause you shouldn’t surprise someone with this life decision like that. You should have been talk- you should have had a spreadsheet. – They have to know it’s happening. You can’t just spring this
on someone during a vacation. – You have to like any
other major life decisions where it’s just like I
need an answer right now, do you want to buy this house? Like what? (laughing) – I didn’t even know I was in the market. – Would you like to go? – I would like to go. Just changing your Facebook status without telling anyone. – [Caldwell] Very good. – [Grant] Yeah. – You know when you like log onto Facebook and it’s got all the bullshit just like, hey, good morning Grant,
like, we just wanted to say good morning, or
like, remember two years ago when you ate a big taco? And just like one where you
wake up and that notification’s like hey, we saw your
relationship status changed and you’re married, congratulations. – You’re presenting like
a Black Mirror right now. – But the thing about this Black Mirror is it could happen right now. – But there’s no engagement. – I mean engaged could work too. I think anything where like
it takes that surprise element and makes it very public, and also, you can’t even discuss
it in person with that. You just wake up like,
what are you talking about? I guess I’ll just message you to figure out what this is all about. – I could see someone
thinking that’s cute. I could see someone like okay, she’s asleep, I’m gonna
get onto her Facebook, I’m gonna change her status. She’ll have a bunch of
congratulationses in the morning. – I could see that though, someone being like, this is so cute. All of her friends will see it and her family at the same time. – Against their will, that’s
what’s important here. – It’s terrible, but I
could see it being cute. – Nothing is cute online. – No. – No. – That is true. – My idea for the worst proposal is say it with pubic hair. (laughing) Picture this. – I already am. – Thank you, you’re living
with your significant other and over time you have been
collecting their pubic hair. – This is not where I
thought it was going. (laughing) – Trimming it when they’re asleep, taking it from the shower,
things of that nature. One day they come home
and you have laid out their mounds of pubic hair to spell out “Will you marry me?” – Now. (laughing) We all have. – Questions. – This would take years perhaps. – Well yes, proof that you’ve
had a long, relationship. – You’ve got a ripe amount of pubic hair. – Now, don’t say ripe. – You’ve got a ripe amount of pubic hair. – No. Where I thought you were going with this was more of a shaved message. – No. No. (laughing) – ‘Cause that I’m on board with. – Not at all, this is you collecting, that’s what makes it so awful is you’re collecting some else’s pubic hair, forming it into little letters. – Is it just on the floor? – It could be on the floor. It could be in a nice location. If you’re at a hotel– – It could be on the bed. – Yeah, it could be in the bed. – Where are you? – I changed my mind, I love it. – Thank you. – That’s so much pubic
hair, like I don’t– – Exactly. – Where are you storing this? – Probably in little boxes. – Wouldn’t the person notice they wake up and they’re like I’m balder
than I was yesterday? – You just gotta collect from the shower. – Yeah, you could do that. If they shave– – You’ve gotta pick it– – You take it from the
razor if they shave. – [Grant] You have to pick through– – If they wax, go to
the, visit their wax or– – Would you allow for
regular hair as well? – I think it has to be pubic hair. – [Caldwell] Okay, all right. – Well then how are you
sorting that out in the shower? – Yeah you gotta sit
there with like tweezers. – Okay, if you– – But that shows commitment. – Yes, love takes work, guys. – And it’s weird if you
and your significant other have the same type of hair. – Not, it’s not that weird. – I know my hair. – Pubes are basically the same. Pubes are, that’s one of those
things that’s like universal. – Oh, Grant, Grant, Grant. – What a beautiful thought, guys. – We all have the same pubes.
– We all have the same pubes. – Okay. – That’s it for this
preview of The Rank Room. If you enjoyed it, I have fantastic news. There’s a lot more of it over on DropOut. So go to dropout.tv and
start your free trial today. I said go. Okay fine, stay. (soft music) Go! – As you lean in, as you slip the ring on their finger, you lean
in and you just whisper, it’s just a prank, bro.

Michael Martin

100 Responses

  1. public (or any) proposals should be talked about first. If it hasn't been talked through with your SO, probably just don't propose. It can be a surprise even if you've both decided mutually

  2. I was once seeing a guy who changed his relationship status to 'dating me' after one date. I found our from my mother

  3. This makes me sad they’re taking all these awesome things they were making on college humor and now putting all their good ideas and sketches onto dropout and not caring about their YouTube content 🙁

  4. I wish we had the same pubes… My partner has dark hair, I'm ginger… I do not get away with stealing a raiser 😂
    (Just kidding, I wouldn't)

  5. When somebody else is proposing, go and steal the ring that they’re proposing with and propose to your significant other with it

  6. I haven't watched this video but I'm going to say these are all bad. And all public proposals are inherently terrible

  7. The worst marriage proposal I’ve ever heard of happened in real life and I read about it in a rich people magazine here in Mexico City. Apparently the guy called the woman pretending to be a stranger who kidnapped her father and was now demanding she go to a public place to negotiate a ransom. She goes, and instead of her kidnapped father, she finds her family and friends performing a short flash mob, and her man proposing to her. In the magazine they made it sound romantic, with a quote by the woman which went something like “it was so unexpected and so US”.

  8. I figured this was a comparison of realistic proposals. I think it would have been funnier that way of course the last one was the worst but no one would ever do that…

  9. "Will you be my patient 1?"

    Because you have some previously unknown, horrible disease, and you want them to be your bug buddy forever. Bonus points if you've already slept together when using this one.

  10. The following all describe a single scenario:
    1. It's at the altar (you did not know this was going to be your wedding day)
    2. It's a satanic altar (the real deal)
    3. You don't know the other person (you've been kidnapped)
    4. Your family is there (they support this)

  11. "BUT, are they still married?" – is the final question that should be asked of Grant's first proposal. – "I think we all know the answer to that." (& you have to say it in a pompous, judging voice)

  12. ok so a rube goldberg machine right, they buy a whole ass warehouse and make this GIANT ass machine. so they get their s/o into said warehouse and the person who’s proposing says “ *name*, will you marry me?” then they just sit there for five minutes until the machine finally just pops the open the box, then you say “no”.

  13. Putting a wedding ring inside food or in a glass of wine. (God knows where that ring has been)

    Imagine chewing your favorite food then
    '*CRACK*'

  14. My brother proposed during a hike when they were on vacation Anna secretly filmed it with his go pro. So first as they're sitting and talking hes trying to have a deep conversation and shes oblivious and complaining about how sweaty she is. Then he proposes and she goes to hug him and she almost pushed him off the cliff they were standing next to.

  15. Great Idea with content cut! Here's another: remove the contestants iteratively, then make tiers in a dropout environment that unlocks those characters(Alternatively micro transaction is a thing). Contact me if you want to implement that, I'll know when to start my bollywood remake of CH.

  16. The worst proposal is actually Mr. Headstone in Our Mutual Friend. He punches a grave marker, sucks on his wounded hand so blood runs down his face, and (when she refuses him) says "then I hope I may never kill him" about her other suitor. He also says she could lead him to do evil if she wanted to and after this proposal fails, tried to kill the other guy

  17. Honestly, public proposals and flash mobs are great ways of proposing. The only problem with those options is if the person doing the proposing is jumping the gun. You have to know your lover inside and out before taking that plunge. If your lover is shy, introverted, and gets anxious being in large crowds, a public proposal of any kind is a terrible idea. But if you know your lover likes flash mobs and extravagant acts of love, then you're on the right track. To be perfectly honest, I kinda wish I'd been proposed to in a dorky way. I've seen Pikachu flash mob proposals, video game themed proposals, anime themed proposals, ect, and they were all so much fun to watch. 🙂 But my fiance is still quite introverted and socially awkward, so of course he wouldn't do those things. 😛 We're still working on getting him out of his shell. 🙂

  18. Gotta say, I love Katie's intellectual voice.

    Though I also have to say, previews ought to be more openly marked as such, it's kind of shady to give viewers what looks like a full episode until they get a "this is a preview" popup some ways into the viewing.

  19. Worst marriage proposal? As you’re murdering the person.

    I like my humor dark like my tea, thank you very much.

  20. The Facebook one is the worst because I can imagine the type of person that would do this. They eat a diet of plain hamburgers and Campbell's chicken noodle soup.

  21. I liked this video. I would like it more if I could see the rest of it without having to sign up to dropout.

  22. Nietzsche is not a relevant philosopher, and philosophy made much greater progress after him (and at any time there was someone more relevant than him). Nietzsche is basically an essayist of sorts.

  23. Katie always has the craziest ideas. everyone else's ideas suddenly became normal as soon as she started talking.

  24. Kidnapping. Not a staged kidnap or anything. Just literally kidnap a person and hold them against their will until they agree to marry you.

  25. Speaking of proposals, my brother went out to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring, and then 2 days later found out that she was pregnant. He still hasn't proposed yet, but at this point it's gonna be less of a, "Oh my God that's so sweet! Yes!" and more of a, "Well I'm literally bearing your child so it'd be kinda a dick move if you hadn't…"

  26. This is just from the top of my head, but: an x-ray photo of your so's body, in which you see a diamond ring in their digestive system

  27. I gave a girl a ring once and she sold it at a pawn shop in ATL to help pay for the room she was banging some other guy in…So glad that happened👍

  28. Having a party and your partner has told everyone attending that you already said yes so you get there and everyone's like "Congrats! Where's the ring?" And you're standing there, wondering what the f*ck is going on because why is everyone congratulating you the most remarkable thing you've done recently was your partner.

  29. When their dad just died and you go well… no one is going to challenge me and propose on the funeral day.

  30. objecting to her being married to another person at the wedding then immediately get on one knee and propose.

  31. the one from marvelous mrs maisel where he walks into the middle of the fucking street and won't get out until she says yes

  32. reverse rick roll–They start by watching the beloved Rick Astley video only to have it interrupted with you proposing. ideally, you would show it on a big screen in public, at a sports bar or something.

  33. Katie dug deep and thought of a highly improbable but potentially possible scenario. If that's the case there's always a way to one up that proposal by thinking of a similarly improbable but possible scenario but worse. Pubic hair? Proposing with feces and urine WITH pubic hair.

  34. This wasn't fair. They all came in thinking about real things humans have done and Katie just bludgeoned them with The Crazy Zone.

  35. I was disappointed all the answers were pretty normal, like maybe they had changed the game because of dropout or something, but thank god for Kathy.

  36. I love how each one got slightly less realistic.
    Idea 1: It happened
    Idea 2: It very much could happen. Someone needs to have a conversation about not proposing on the first day of a cruise but it could happen and someone could think that it's a good idea.
    Idea 3: Okay… If a guy did that to me we would be done so fast…
    Idea 4: wtf?

  37. I thought the flash mob would be a bunch of people flashing the girl and have letters on them that spell out “will you marry me”

  38. I was having cereal watching college humor

    Katie:say it with pubic hair

    Me out load: I'm eating, Katie

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