The Myth Of Dating :: Relationship Goals (Part 3)



so I'm ready to preach this morning because I believe God has given me a word get out your phones get out your Bibles and we're gonna go right into God's Word um we are in week 3 of an eight-week series that we are calling relationship goals and um this series is really starting to uncover and help a lot of people a lot of us need help in our relationships and it's one of those things that we don't really talk about in church because it's one of those things that we feel should automatically be impacted by the relationship we have with Jesus and so we don't talk about specifics like if I just get better all my relationships will get better and that is true but sometimes you need some specificity with what we're talking about like sometimes I need to know what does God's Word say about certain things and certain issues and certain people in certain problems and we've just decided to tackle something that everybody deals with but there's not a lot of clarity on and today I want to go down this journey um but before I do that I want to see who's in the room okay so I need everybody to help me right now even those who are watching online I need you to help me with this okay so if I say something that agrees with your demographic currently in life I want you to make some noise okay so I need all the people in the room to make some noise if you are single and available in the room you better clap girl you better clap now I need everybody to open your eyes over your eyes look down the road okay okay so so we got our single and available people in the room okay how many people are dating or engaged right now dating or engaged they still making decisions today okay how many people in the room are married yeah some of the single people look is so mad right now that we're excited um so now that I know who's in the room um I was thinking about the subject I was gonna talk about today and I went back to my childhood and I want to see if we may have had similar childhoods okay so there was this song that used to be sung like on playgrounds and with other children and it went something like this it was like Michael and Natalie sitting in a tree ki SS in there hey yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so so um so we had similar childhoods okay so this is what I was thinking and this may be an overstatement this might be an overstatement but I was thinking about our relational journeys and that might be that that that phrase that that saying might have been the first time there was an explanation of relational progression in any of our lives think about it people say psychologists say that from the age of birth to five you learn the most that you will ever learn cognitively about how you're gonna live your life and most parents aren't sitting down with three and four-year-olds saying this is how relationships should go this is these are the progressions so our first real explanation is first comes love then comes marriage then comes maybe in the baby carriage and when I look at that if that's what's programmed deep down in our minds in our hearts about relationship progression it's a very vague and incomplete statement love marriage baby I don't know how that works in your life but I haven't walked up to many people and just loved them enough to say can we get married and then enough to have a baby with you and because we live in a fallen world in our society is backwards and perverse that sure is not the progression in everybody's life sometimes it's baby first then because we had a baby might as well marry you and since we marry the Lord could you please help me to love her or sometimes it's love and then there's a baby and we not really too sure about how we can trust each other so maybe we'll get married and just think about all the different scenarios and so I said God why is that so incomplete he said Michael I want you to help define a progression of relationship so that people can understand and know and reprogram be transformed by the renewing of their mind that there is a God way of progressing in relationship that has more parts than just love marriage baby and I want to give that to you today so this is what I think the relationship progression should look like okay the first one should be singleness and I know that's not a popular one but if you've never heard a message taught about singleness you need to go back and listen to last week's message okay singleness is probably the most important time of your life because it's the time where God gets to reveal to you who you are you become self-aware you find purpose you get identity and Matthew tells us that we're supposed to love God our selves and then out of that love relationship we can accurately love others but most of us are trying to figure out how to love others before we learn how to love ourselves so we're always looking to them to incomplete to make complete our deficiencies because we never learn to be ok with us and so I'm encouraging you to go back if you have not and listen to last week's message me and my wife we're listening to it again yesterday because I listen back like game film how can I get better how can I keep going and I was listening about 25 minutes again I said that is good and not because I was preaching it we were literally getting ministered to because God speaks through me I'm just a vessel up here on Sunday mornings half of the stuff I don't know what I'm saying I just go back to my notes and I look back and I'm like God you said that through me thank you and so this is a relationship of trying to get something to you but as I was watching back I said man if people would know what God wanted to do in their lives without a person and just with them and to be contingent okay in that season they would be ready for marriage the statistics say that 50% of all marriages end in divorce the staggering thing about that is the the figure for Christian marriages are almost the same so why if we got God in the Holy Spirit and songs and worship and accountability why is it ending up the same I'm suggest to you it may not be a relationship problem it may be a singleness problem and God wants to deal with our singleness so go back and watch that so first it should be singleness then it should be what I'm going to talk about today intentional dating everybody say intentional now this is something that is not really talked about but I believe this is the next progression and I'll talk about in a minute intentional dating and then there should be an engagement the pair the period of time where we are committed and planning towards our wedding or the time that we're going to make this thing consummated before God in unholy matrimony and then after engagement there should be marriage okay and after marriage there should be love now faster Michael why would you say love after marriage I need to know that I love them before marriage have you read first Corinthians 13 because the type of stuff you have to do to really love somebody I don't know if you can truly do that in a full manner without sacrificing and giving up a lot for that person I truly believe that you can like somebody a hohohohoho Bunch but until you have to give to that person like Christ gave for the church laid down his life and sacrifice it until she eat off your plate and ain't nothing else open for you to get to eat that night until the you're in a position where they're sick and you got to take care of them but still do your job and be like there's certain things you don't learn until you get in the Covenant let me prove it to you how much did you love God before you accepted him as Christ most of us didn't learn to love God until after we got in covenant with him and once we got in covenant with him then we started to progress on our relationship of walking in love with him so I just suggest to you that the love really gets solidified identified and really becomes real after you get married some y'all like dang it I told my wife I said after studying the Word of God you know how people be talking about their and puppy love and all that other stuff we wouldn't in puppy love we was just in he I see what happens is this generation we confuse passion with love you just think because you're passionate about something it's love no no baby that's another l word of four letters but it's called lusts we're engaged in what we see and what we feel and what we hear in the moment but God wants to reveal to us love for him first and then love for another person so that's the next progression and then out of our love we should reproduce we we should reproduce hear me again out of our love not out of our dysfunction I counsel a lot of people who have babies because the person they're in relationship with won't pay attention to them so they have a baby with that person so that they can give their full attention to somebody who needs them I want you to see how sick and twisted that is in its seed form not that you're a bad person but that child can never fulfill the void that you have placed in that person and so what happens is many times people stay together because it's a business arrangement they stay together because we got kids we got to be together but let me help you your kids only can drink from the whale that is in that house and you think because you're not arguing in front of them that they feel it they see it they hear it it's the atmosphere that is in their house and then you're mad when they reproduce after their own kind somebody in your family has to stand up and break the generational curses I think there's some people in this room this morning that are saying when it comes to relationship it's not going to end the same way because I'm going to invite God into my relationships and then I put this last point repeat because I really feel like some people think that if they just get through this process that it's good I worked on my singleness now I'm intentionally dating I got engaged we got married we love each other we got children and that's it that's why the divorce rate for people over 45 has increased in the past 25 years because their project is gone the thing we had in common to work on our children are gone so now when I come home I'm not asking for homework I'm not asking I'm not getting them new J's I'm not asking where it's cheerleading practice you we got at all we can go to the movies all day every day but I don't want to cuz I don't know you because I haven't I haven't kept perfecting myself and so the greatest thing that you can do in relationship progression is repeat this cycle again put it back up there after you get through this whole thing you never need to stop being single in your relationship what do you mean Pastor Mike I'm talking about what's the last thing you did to perfect yourself what what what's the last thing you did to add to the marriage did you go back and take a finance course so y'all money can be like black black black did you did you figure out another language so when you go to France you can be able to see if they serving you good food or not did you add anything to the relationship many people stopped perfecting who God's created them to be because they joined with somebody else and I'm all I'm saying to you is once we move this God says I want to keep I had a plan for you before you were formed in your mother's womb surprise for you not to harm you to give you hope and give you a few I want you to keep working on your singleness and then if your marriage is gonna last and be vibrant and have passion I want you to keep intentionally dating when's the last time you took your wife your husband out on a date me and my wife have to plan that stuff yesterday I told her I said baby I don't want to go out with you next Friday and I want you to get sexy you know how you just she said babe I'm eight months pregnant I said you better drape to something over that stomach girl to better drape something over that and she know what that means to me and I know what that means to her why because we're gonna intentionally date we're gonna make time and what that does is that keeps it fresh don't just be with your mate chilling in the bed watching movies what happened to the pursuit what happened to the thing that you win when you couldn't have her you was chasing her but now you hear like hey hey and that's what we have to do so keep going through the process and I just want you to keep going on you should be having engagements married people hear me what I'm saying you should have engagements engagements there more saved people who have horrible relational lives and sexual relationships and that's not God's intention the only reason he said that you're supposed to abstain from that stuff in a marriage relationship is when y'all fasting and praying and both of y'all agree y'all not ready so if one party's like I didn't steal God's say that I did y'all better hear the word and and and in a couple weeks from now I'm gonna do a whole message on the power of sex and I don't want parents to get scared I shouldn't bring my children on they already know baby if they are in the third grade they already know what's going on but wouldn't it be better if they got a biblical standpoint instead of a worldview from social media and eat news and okay so I'm encouraging every parent get your kids here okay because you need to I didn't learn the stuff I learned about sex from my parents or a spiritual being I learned it in sixth grade in the locker room and it distorted my worldview for almost 15 years and my parents who loved God and our pastors and at worship had no idea what was being infiltrated into my life hear me when I say that it's time for the church to stand up and help people get the tools that they need to live not just exist or y'all can clap better than that cuz some of the brokenness that you've been dealing with is cuz nobody told you the right way to do it and so we got to keep doing these things and so today I'm gonna take the time to talk about dating and I know something like dating man I'm past that stage I've I'm married I'm I'm in this but but this is what I want to help you understand that because this is not talked about many people don't know how to talk about it and so when your children your grandchildren you or anybody gets into this realm we just kind of leave it alone and and we're one of those things that we say stuff like I wouldn't have picked them you didn't teach them how to pick like like you know how people I don't know who the pit the fruit picker in your house is but you know there's somebody in your house that knows how to go to the produce section and they knocking on stuff and shake and stuff and they can tell if I'm not the fruit picker in my house but I've learned if you get around the person who can pick fruit well they will teach you how to pick fruit most people when it comes to relationships were not taught how to pick fruit and so we get into things and we're frustrating like I just can't really I raised they just bring him in here yeah like in there but no no matter how educated they are no matter how much you taught them about God you didn't teach them how to pick food and so today I want to help us learn how to pick fruit okay so um this is what we're gonna do Hosea chapter 4 verse 6 the children of Israel were in a place where they were just disobeying God God had literally parted the Red Sea for them he had done so many amazing things for them providing manna for them and they just kept making up they own idols and going their own way and doing their own thing and then this is what the Word of God comes in Hosea 4:6 it says my people are destroyed for the lack of what knowledge they don't know and I'm just trying to help us know some things so that we can be able to see clearly what the message version says I love it it says my people are ruined because they don't know what's right and they don't know what's true so the title of today's message is the myth of dating the myth of dating and I'm gonna try to dispel a few myths that we may have about dating and see what God says about these things the first myth I want you to write down is that dating is biblical that's a myth dating is not biblical something okay pastor then why are we talking about it because it's a real issue in our society in our culture the Bible is very selective and specific on what it talks about in relationship and it's pretty silent when it comes to this thing called dating or courtship and so this furthers our problem of not knowing how to get into relationship because we're supposed to consult the Word of God on certain things but what spiritual do I go to to see what I'm supposed to do and so then we just try to get to marriage and then I know what it says about marriage because there's a lot of stuff about marriage but dang I picked the wrong so I'm trying to make this thing work with the wrong ingredients and this cake is nasty even though it's not very specific on the topic of dating the Bible is very clear on what type of company we should keep on the boundaries we should set in relationship and the character of the people that would be life partners with us and so we're going to pull some different things together and draw some context clues and see what type of person we should be dating but the reason I want to say this is because I really feel like I could have left this point out and just gone on but I'm tired of the church not knowing what it's talking about like people the Bible says in 1st Thessalonians 6 at 18 about no it doesn't say that about dating and we need to be able to know that as we communicate with people what the Word of God says let me just give you a little bit of history dating and courtship those are ideas that were man-made that were made about 200 years ago okay and it was a way to get people in relationship a single man and a single woman trying to find out if they were compatible so they could get in go further in their relationship in marriage courtship because some people like not dating is bad courtship is what it they're both man-made I want everybody to hear me say this and so whatever you decide to do okay that's good with you but you got to put God in the middle of it see because courtship was usually done with the parents being right there at every moment so literally you wouldn't kiss you wouldn't touch you wouldn't hold hands you wouldn't hug and every time you meet both sets of parents would be there right with you just staring how much intimacy do you think that you can develop with mommy and daddy sitting there all the time so a lot of those marriages didn't work there was a whole bunch of these things that happen but I do believe that if we put God in the middle of this situation we can find out what the Word of God says so the first myth is that dating is biblical it's not biblical but we can draw context clues from what God is trying to say the second myth dating is wrong datings not wrong if God is in the middle and I want everybody to hear me that is a huge caveat dating is not wrong if God is in the middle and many of us try to do things without God and we asked for his blessing and his results god blessed this relationship that is horrible from the beginning and is totally jacking up my purpose just bless it God okay let's be honest how many people have prayed a backwards prayer before like you knew you was doing wrong but you is just asking God to just come on in and and just soup that all I'm saying to you is when you put God in the middle of something everything changes because everything surrounds God we're not asking God to come and surround it get the picture when God is in the middle everything surrounds God not us doing something and asking God to surround it so whatever you do you need to put God in the middle there's a scripture in 1st Corinthians chapter 10 31 that talks about this and and and I honestly had this thought dating is like the second job interview you know like for a real good job like a good high paying job you don't get one interview you may have one two three even four interview like if it's a really good job high responsibility on it you might have a listen dating is a second interview there's some things I should know about you in our first interview can I stand you'll smell like we let people get into this next level of us being exclusive to try to get to know each other and they didn't even pass the first level of the protest do it do we even believe the same things see we let people into this space where then it becomes serious and we're Facebook official and everybody knows and they weren't even supposed to make it past the first interview that they weren't even supposed to get to meet the other people in my life see and I want you to know the difference because some church people are really bound and locked up it's okay to go on a date cuz a date is an event a date it's not a commitment and some of y'all need to stop acting like dates or commit my god I've just put on a date with Bobby and Bobby yeah just me and him and we're taking pictures and it was a it was an event it happened it was over you should assess it you should see if there's any qualifications that were on the list of my priorities and visions that will allow this person to see me again or even get a second interview see the thing about good jobs is they know what they're looking for and if you come to the first interview sagging your pants your hair not good you can't talk all this other stuff they're not gonna call you back but because we're lonely we give people who are under qualified second interviews oh okay okay because there's a shortage in our company we let unqualified people fill positions that they don't have the ability to feel and what do they end up doing damaging the company they cost us more than they're worth so so dating is not wrong if God is in the middle first Corinthians 10:31 says so whatever you do whether you eat you drink whatever you do do it all for the glory of God so when you date your dating relationship should be done for the glory of God how you date should bring glory to God let me help you ask some questions to yourself Caesar these are some good question is who I'm dating bringing glory to God how they live how they talk what they listen to is it bringing glory to God well they smart and they got a good job in and they find and they got the issues but I'm a bypass that because God has shown me to be a cultivator and to be the one that helps people become and not the man that's supposed to lead you he's posed to cultivate you if she had Ho tendencies that attracted you to her do you think that turned off without a life transformation when she got with you you like that she wears the leggings she liked that she wears the leggings and they like Betsy where the language I'm just trying to come to your house to let you know that that until you get to the place where you understand that who I'm talking to should be living their life to glorify God you're starting off with some wrong ingredients another question you can ask yourself is how we are dating bringing God glory am I in the back of a car in a parking lot somewhere come on y'all already know I've been outside of somebody's window at 2:30 a.m. in the morning got class at 6:00 a.m. out there trying as you are you up I'm in the wrong and if somebody saw me or caught me with my witness be destroyed would I be able to say anything about my relationship with Jesus if they saw my text messages I'm just trying to give you a formula to be able to see if this relationship is good for you or not myth 3 dating is a destination it surprises me how many people date for long periods of time like this is where we add how long y'all been dating 15 years what did you just say to me there is a kid in puberty as long as you've been dating what are you talking about and so the thing you have to start asking yourself is why well why haven't we taken that step into covenant why haven't we moved past where we've been into commitment what is though things that is it because we're not living our life godly is there because we have reserves is it because I really know who you are and I love you and we've had kids together we've built relationship but I trust you enough to be with you I don't trust you enough to trust you I mean this is real light like as long as we right here we can do this but I'll never let you get close enough because I know who you really are that means you're not supposed to be with them it doesn't matter how long y'all been together you are delaying what God would have for you I was in the airport the other day with my friend Charles and and we we got off of a plane and we had to catch a connecting plane and and this is what we had to do we had come from a place landed and we were trying to get to another place that would take us to the level we wanted to go but because we were in one spot we had to take transportation to the other spot now now let me give you a definition the Holy Spirit gave me about dating he said dating is transportation to a relational target it's the it's supposed to be the vehicle this dating thing is not supposed to be the place where we stay is supposed to be the place that takes us to marriage it's the thing that's supposed to take us to covenant okay so we were on the plane we got off one plane and we wanted to get up to another level but what we had to do was ride what they call a tram and we rode the tram from terminal aid to terminal C and once we got on the tram it was our transportation to where we really wanted to be the intended target and it's beautiful thing to understand because they don't want you to stay on the trim how do you know pass the mic they don't put a lot of seats there they put enough there for you to hang on so you can get to the destination and when you date too long you are now putting yourself in a position to sit down in a place that was supposed to just be transportation and I want you to see this so clearly that when you do that it will be uncomfortable because you were never meant to stay there God wants you to get to the intent or get off see was that terminal a but between Terminal A and terminal C was terminal what get off if you realize that writing this dating train I'm going the wrong way I actually need to be at this terminal and I'm at this terminal and I need you know what this is not for me I'll walk I don't need to be surrounded in this company I'll get off and I'll walk why because taking the long route sometimes builds stamina in you that will produce what you really need you may not find who you're supposed to be with writing this dating train it's when you get off the thing and start walking and you say hey all I'm trying to say to you is dating is not supposed to be a destination it's supposed to be transportation to where you really want to go and some of you need to hear me say this recreation on dating is dangerous like I just date him and I just date him and then you know I'm saying oh yeah when somebody introduced somebody to you and you be like oh yeah we used to date Oh y'all don't okay they don't say that we hooked up we were just friends somebody just said that just devastated friends I don't say that so many but just think about all these cold words that were you free friends with benefits and what ends up happening in this situation is we get damaged because we were not supposed to be in this place sitting we were supposed to be transporting but you know if he or she doesn't want to get with you and there's no plans if you have to keep asking well what do you see in our future and there is a vague blurry image of like yeah one day we might you know what that day has come cuz I have too much purpose in me to sit here and be in a relationship that has no aim ain't the series called relationship you can't have a goal if you don't have an aim and some of us just over you're shooting at everything and God said no no no no no pull it back wait wait I'm ready to shoot wait turn to the left down just a little bit there it is and God will allow you to get in right relationship with right people so what do you want us to do Pastor Mike you don't told us everything day 2 name I want you to do this I want you to be focused on intentional dating I want everybody to write that down even if you're married even I want you to write that down intentional dating what does that mean I'm dating with purpose I'm dating with the end in mind peso might what are you saying if you can't remotely see yourself after going on a couple of events with your dates with this person you cannot see yourself being led or you cannot see yourself being connected with this person and you can't see yourself marrying them you do not need to be in relationship with them to figure out and see if it can work and the problem is it's how God made us women naturally you are created to nurture if you give a woman a seed she's gonna give you a baby but their incubator they will take something in a state that it is not and they will grow it to what it's supposed to be you give a woman a bag of groceries guess what she gives you dinner you give her a house she gives you a home that's what a woman but the problem is you were created out of man and God created him first so you can never be the person to cultivate him God asked land to cultivate the woman and what's happening in society is we have a bunch of passive men who wants somebody to take care of them that wants somebody to cook and clean and do all these other things but you have not done your priority by leading the household and the only way you can leave the household is be in communion with God daily and if you're not walk adam walked and talked in the cool of the day every him and God had a connected relationship and without that you don't know how to lead the woman of God that he's created you Lily and so what I'm saying to you is everything that I'm talking about and this whole thing has to be intentional just everybody saying intentional okay last-minute dating is harmless that is a horrible myth dating can be devastating if it's done in the wrong timing and without God I just think about it how many relationships that people have got in where they have literally invested in sown so much time energy and effort into something that would only take from them many of us are products of that sitting in this room but look what proverbs 14:12 says says there's a path before each person that seems right like that relationship seemed right when I got in it that person seemed right but he said it ends in death another translation says destruction what are you trying to say Pastor Mike there can be a death to purpose because you got in relationship with the wrong person open up your heart to the wrong person and let them discourage your dream you used to be passionate about something and you got with the wrong person and it started to crush what God placed on the inside of you you have to be careful of who you align your heart your soul and your mind with because it can damage your purpose some of you are supposed to be doing things that you were created to do but you got in relationship in a season you were supposed to be focusing in your singleness with the person you would not end up marrying and they crushed something in you and talked about your self-esteem and got you in a place where you could not believe in your own self and now you're sitting here with a death of time you've lost time and you've lost vision and you lost hope because you were in a wrong aligned relationship that's Mike why are you going so passionate about this because I want you to see and I want you to hear that who you aligned yourself with is more important than anything that you can do in your life because who you align yourself with and let into your heart will begin to guide what you do in your life will 1st Corinthians 15 says verse 33 it says don't be fooled don't do it bad company corrupts good character that's why you see these good girls get with bad dudes and bad girls get with good dudes and they turn like they didn't used to do that why are they doing that the word is telling you clearly what happens right here look at verse 34 it says think carefully about what is right when you're dating somebody you need to stop and think is this what I'm supposed to be doing is this what's right does this like do I line up right but what God is saying in my life it says and then it just says stop sinning just stop think carefully about what is right and stop sinning why because if you're making decisions in a sin state your flesh will always lie to you your flesh will always take nah nah bro that's good for you bro that is really a blessing look what God made beautifully and wonderfully made in His image all of his all of it and we're doing all of this other stuff and gods saying you can't make a right decision right now because your flesh is ruling stop sinning and think about what is right I just encourage many people in this room even if isn't this this whole dating thing doesn't apply with you stop sinning and then pray about it stop sinning stop keeping let that door closed repent turn and then let God speak to you about it I want to give you this this this thing that touched me this week my wife thinks that Chris Brown was supposed to take Michael Jackson's place as the greatest Entertainer of all time and then he had a fall and and it's one of those funny things that he had a moment in his life we were watching a documentary this week and um he basically talked about being in a toxic dating relationship change he said this out of his own mouth he said it changed the course of my entire life he said one night that was bad for me in a dating relationship changed my career change how people viewed me changed how I view myself he said I'm dealing with these monsters on the inside one it's not even his wife and because he was careless with who he got in relationship because God wasn't the middle because it wasn't it changed the course of his life my question is who are you in relationship that's changing the course of your life and if it's not somebody who's pushing you towards purpose it's time to get out of that thing look at this anchor scripture and I want everybody to remember this this Philippians chapter 2 and this blessed me so much it says for God is working in you giving you the desires and the power to do what pleases him look how awesome this is at Salvation God no matter how messed up jacked up how many times you've fallen he said at Salvation inside of you you get the Holy Spirit the Paraclete the one who has sitting alongside of you to help and once you get him he is giving you the desire first and then I love that God does not just give us a desire and not give us power he gives us the power to do what he calls us to do he gives us the desire and the power to do what what pleases him when it comes to your dating relationships or any relationship so I want you to know when you invite God into this situation he'll give you the desire to do it right and then he'll fund it he'll give you the power to do it right and what is he trying to do he's giving you the desire and the power to please him that's how good our God is that's how awesome that he is to all of us verse 14 says do everything without complaining and arguing so that no one can criticize you look what you should do in dating we live clean innocent lives as children of God shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people your dating relationship should be able to shine and I want to talk to some of my people who are divorced and older and you got your own stuff and you got your own house or you may be widowed or your husband left or if something happened and we get in this space where we groan I've been doing this my own way for a long time and so now you start talking to somebody and dating them and they have their own house and they have their own house and so y'all just spend the night at each other's house I don't care how old are you something will rise up you did not become impenetrable because you were 55 and it goes against God's Word because you can't shine that light would you tell your son and your daughter to do the same thing that be in that place and put yourself in the way of temptation no you want your relationship to be something that shines everybody say signs you want your relationship to shine and that's what God wants for every person in this relationship cut some light why are you telling us all of this why are you saying all these things about dating and myth because if you get the right perspective you'll be able to set proper boundaries and boundaries are biblical the reason why people get messed up in relationship is they can have proper boundaries I'm gonna end you with this scripture right here proverbs 4:23 and I want you to understand that boundaries are one of the things that God uses to help us reach purpose guard your heart above all do you see how important it is to put up the fence get the guard dogs out there get the Bob wire fence and the gun around your heart because if you don't you will allow wrong things to influence your heart and if things influence your heart what does it do your it determines the course of your life so let me help you if the will of God is that you should just please him what ends up happening is when we allow people into our heart very easily we begin to go against the will of God we begin to go away from what God has said for us and we have to be ones that say no no I'm gonna set my eyes and my heart on the things that please God I got gates or you can't get in this that easy and when you recreationally date and you do all this stuff you set a permission for anybody to walk in and walk out and then what you end up doing is putting yourself in a position to take your eyes off of pleasing God and I've done it before but I put myself in a position that I'll do what he or she wants me to do instead of please God dating is so serious for all of you and I begin to think God how can i really help these people understand what practical steps how how can we move past what we've done in dating and just make it so haphazardly I talked to him I talk to them like God said I want you to focus on guarding this if you would get with me and I could get with you then I'll teach you and show you how to love somebody else I mean there's so much that I have to say on this that I told them in the first service that what we're gonna do is next week we're going to create a forum where I'm gonna do something called relationshipgoals uncut because there's some stuff that I want to say that I can't say on camera because there's a real Avenue that we need to talk let me just give you one of those things see cuz some of y'all like well okay Pastor Mike I know the miss I see what's happening but how do I pick this person how do I see characteristics that I'm supposed to find let me give you one I'm excited about this so let's go to the first relationship in the garden the first relationship was between Adam and Eve okay now watch before Eve ever came into the picture Adam was found in the presence of God God placed him in the presence this word is a funny Hebrew word it means a lot of thing it means spot it means the place where there's an open door it also means the place where God is so let me help you Eden is the spot for the moment where the presence of God is an open door to heaven that's why Adam did not have to worship to get in the presence of God he was already in the presence of God he didn't have to praise and sing and all that ups up we have to do that because we were put out of the presence of God now watch this the first man was found he found him in the presence of God practical don't ever date a man who hates the presence of God because if he does not like the presence of God he will not be able to get proper instructions to be able to lead you and what some of you interesting females do is try to go to the club and find a man outside of Eden outside of the presence of God and then you marry him and then you try to drag them into the presence of God you go worship it'll never happen see I want to help you be able to live knowing that God has a way that we're supposed to do this thing and he wants us to do it his way I'm hoping that you hear the heart of this the myths of dating there's so many of them out there but the thing that you want to remember is that God's working in you to give you the desire and the power to do in dating what pleases and if you just please your heart I've messed up so many times in relationship but my heart really was to please God man I messed up get back to pleasing God that's what repenting is see I mess up every sermon I play drums I mess up every time I play drums but you would never know it because my comeback time is very quick you'll never know and that's what God wants for all of our relationship I messed up come back to pleasing God I failed again come back to pleasing God you know I've just got to reset real quick I made a wrong decision but I reset don't fall and stay there don't have a bad moment and just stay there go and come right back because my heart is too please

Michael Martin

25 Responses

  1. Pst Mike. I just want you to know you've been such a huge blessing!!! And a blessing to our generation. May God bless your ministry and take you places for good.

  2. Where’s the time stamp where he says the part about “you don’t know true love until there’s nothing left to eat and you give them the food off of your plate”

  3. I love this 3 part series, it has definitely healed me and have given me hope for marriage in my future. I thank this brother of Christ for his modern take on explaining realtionships. Continue with your ministry you will go far. Amen!

  4. Currently engaged & it’s HARD! Between mistakes in the beginning to mistakes now! Wow this series is helping me to decide if it’s even worth fighting for

  5. For the american people wanting some perspective, dating is very american and things are done differently in other places. Here in Sweden we just make sure were firstly close friends and then talk about taking our relationship to another level.

  6. Wow…. Really wished I would’ve watched this at a young age my mom always told me “make him chase you” “make him wait” after my first 2 boyfriends didn’t workout I didn’t wanna wait any longer premarital sex was never beneficial to me I knew that’s not what God wanted. But now I’m ready to follow his word the earlier you chose to really follow him the better. Michael is such a good pastor love his sermons & how he teaches. Thank you Jesus for your Grace💙
    I just gave up sex b4 marriage 2 days ago as well as some other sinful habits and I can already feel God blessing me & teaching me more things can’t wait to see the things he has planned for me.

  7. Yes I was looking to others but I realised how far I was from God and how I dont even have a relationship with God. I still felt empty inside but I know God can help me with my depression, anxiety, etc. God told me you're not ready. I'm putting God first instead of approval of others. Pray for my chains to be broken. The dating scene is negative God will bring you the right person or call you to be single.

  8. Man these are FREE jewels to literally set our minds and lives on a divine path as YOUTH and even those who were steered wrongly as youth. Bless you Pastor Mike. God is so good! Amen. I receive and and I will definitely apply to my life!

  9. wow PR Todd you rock ,,,,,,,,,,,,, GOD is really using you , thanks that am not married yet , now i know GOD first then the right man will eventually come by ,,,,,,,,,, amen strong word ,,,,,,,,,,, all the way from Southern Africa , county Namibia

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