That Moment Divorce Changes Your World


[Music] I grew up in a very religious Christian conservative household in Australia where I’m originally from we were kind of brought up in the same kinds of American conservative Christian cultural messages everything except the politics so in 2008 I decided to move to Los Angeles and just make the leap I had no family here I didn’t really have friends but one of the things that made that transition easier was finding a church and just that becomes your family I was 24 I found this church very big church and I also found this guy who I ended up marrying at church everything was perfect and rosy my husband was also a leader in the church so we kind of had to put on this front we’re just these perfect happy people everything’s great at home it was a very different story he was battling a lot of his own demons that he never fully resolved he was an ex-drug addicts that had never fully recovered he had his own family problems that he brought into our relationship and it just became a very abusive and toxic environment I didn’t have any tools to deal with that I actually felt embarrassed that I was going through these things and thought it would reflect badly on me I didn’t want to be in a toxic marriage I didn’t want to be in a toxic environment I wanted to live a healthy prosperous life and so I made the decision to get a divorce and it wasn’t just leaving that marriage it was like divorcing my extended family my community I didn’t know who I was I didn’t know where I fit in because all the things that I thought were my identity were all of a sudden stripped away not one person called me no one checked up to see where I was how I was doing because I left the church but there are a lot of things that I do value from that church experience for instance when I first moved here I didn’t know how to get medication or prescriptions I didn’t know how to go and see a GP in Australia it’s very different and a lot easier and I remember one of my close friends who is super conservative still is to this day I had told her look I’ve run out of my birth-control prescription I don’t know what I should do how expensive is it and she said to me just completely off hand one day like oh you can go to Planned Parenthood and it’s pretty affordable so I thought okay cool I don’t know what Planned Parenthood is but I will go there and I’ll get it and I did and it was just not a big deal and there have been so many times over the past few years in between jobs where I didn’t have financial stability I’ve been able to go back there I’ve been able to get great health care and ironically I think it’s one of the most valuable things I took away from that church experience and so thankful she told me being away from that environment I was able to decide for myself who I was where I wanted to be in the world what I wanted to believe I still consider myself a person of faith very deeply so I’ve defined myself politically socially spiritually in a way that I can genuinely say is authentically me I’m remarried again I have a seven month old baby and I don’t know where my life is heading but just the idea of being okay with knowing I am in control of my body and my decisions and my life it took going through a divorce leaving an integral church community and not knowing who I was to figure that out and it feels weird to say I’m thankful for it because it made me who I am today but I like Who I am now I never used to like Who I am before but now I do [Music]

Michael Martin

39 Responses

  1. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜™๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿง๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ™โ˜น๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿค—๐Ÿคฅ๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜ถ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿค๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคง๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค•๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘น๐Ÿ‘บ๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ’€โ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ‘พ๐Ÿค–๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿค–qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm 12345678910-/:;()$&@.,?!'.๐Ÿถ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿน๐Ÿฐ๐ŸฆŠ๐Ÿป๐Ÿผ๐Ÿท๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿต๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ”๐Ÿง๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿค๐Ÿฃ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฆ†๐Ÿฆ…๐Ÿฆ‰๐Ÿฆ‡๐Ÿบ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ›๐Ÿ๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿด๐Ÿฆ‹๐ŸŒ๐Ÿš๐Ÿž๐Ÿ•ธ๐Ÿ•ท๐Ÿฆ—๐Ÿœ๐Ÿฆ‚๐Ÿข๐Ÿ๐ŸฆŽ๐Ÿฆ–๐Ÿฆ•๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฆ‘๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿฆ€๐Ÿก๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿณ๐Ÿฌ๐ŸŸ๐Ÿฆˆ๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ†๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿฆ“๐Ÿช๐Ÿซ๐Ÿฆ’๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ–๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ„๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐ŸฆŒ๐Ÿ“๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿฆƒ๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ๐Ÿ€๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿฆ”๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‰๐Ÿฒ

  2. Marriage is a contract between a Man, a Woman, and the Government. God has nothing to do with it. Divorce is just the dissolution of the contract. This woman feels free because she is no longer in a contract with the government.

    No kids. She got it easy. Divorce rape is tough because you get screwed by the other two parties to the contract. Itโ€™s worse when children are involved.

    And of course it was his fault. Can we see the video on his side?

  3. I'm so sorry you experienced this with your church 'family'! They definitely didn't respond the way they should have.. So glad you find a way to be positive about it in some kind of way ๐Ÿ™‚ It must have been very hard. God bless!

  4. Thank you so much! I am actually going through a divorce right now (I'm 26) and this gives me hope for the future

  5. I'm mad pro choice but I don't think the story transitioned very well in to a planned parenthood ad.

  6. Wtf does planned parenthood have to do with this.
    P.S why did you marry him if all you had was complaints before. ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ

  7. I guess we are all on our own paths. I found myself again after my divorce. I was married for 19 years. I do much better on my own…maybe I'm just a weird person. I was an only child, so I was used to having my own space and doing my own thing. Anyway, I'm glad it all worked out for this lady.

  8. Even though it was sad leaving her church but Iโ€™m glad she was strong enough to break away from the abusive relationship

  9. Divorce is sometimes the best thing for a person. I know it was for me. Im not married but I have the man that I am so grateful for. Some โ€œsoulmatesโ€ are not really soulmates.. they are just toxic assholes lol

  10. Sometimes we need to experience pain in order for us to grow and learn important lessons in life. The most painful experiences at times, can help us move forward and become better persons. Nonetheless, we should be careful of what we wish for because sometimes, it might not be as good as we thought it would be.

  11. Was this about divorce or an advertisement for Planned Parenthood? Free birth control pills from PP was what she got out of her divorce?

  12. nah she lost me at planned parenthood.Her casual slip into the ad for it implies shes lying through her teeth to get paid for this.that story doesn't add up bro

    dislike

  13. There's now a revolutionary web-based communication tool for divorced parents to reduce or eliminate conflict. Visit CivilCommunicator.com to learn more!

  14. Yeah, Planned Parenthood is evil – until a Conservative woman decides it's OK for HER to get help from them. REMEMBER THIS!

  15. Great to feel and find yourself, Glad for you ๐Ÿ™‚ … I just think that hasty decisions and self-insecurity are what may lead to unsuccessful relationships and marriages. so hope people don't misinterpret this story by thinking that divorce is the answer for everything. Cuz it only happens when you reach a very bad stage in your relationship. But in most of the cases, relationship difficulties must be surpassed with the partner not deserting her/him once a tough situation kicks in and think that divorce is the salvation. Not meaning the story of this lady, cuz it seems she was going through tough times.. but in general, Aren't real relationships about being together in the bad and good times, or just the good ones??

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