Sadhguru on body based relationships: Keep it as simple as possible!


Questioner: So another topic that is like
very sensitive but, it’s not talked about as much
is casual relationships that exists in this nice age group that we’re in (Few laugh). So, yeah I’m just going to say good things
about us. So, people engage in physical relationships
today and what they lack is a lot of emotions and we want to know if it’s, it’s opinion… I mean your opinion on it, and
whether people do it by choice, is it healthy, is it, you know, what to make of it? Sadhguru: Can I tell you a joke? Questioner: Yes, I like jokes, yeah, yeah
(Few laugh). Sadhguru: There was one Mrs. Bhatia, nobody
Bhatias (Laughter)? I could change the name (Few laugh). There was one Mrs. Bhatia, who was having
her 50th wedding anniversary. They had a wedding anniversary and the next
day she filed for divorce. The judge saw the divorce petition, he was
also a good family friend so he called her and he said, “Why you want to divorce your
husband? He’s such a sweet little thing (Few laugh). Why do you want to divorce him? On what grounds you want to divorce him?” She said “He has not been faithful to me,
he’s been cheating me.” “How do you come to this conclusions, just
yesterday you had your 50th wedding anniversary, you were fine yesterday, how do you conclude
this?” “I got little nostalgic
and started flipping through the photo album, then I saw none of my five children resemble
him (Laughter).” So (Laughs)… see right now, do you remember
how your great, great, great, great, great grandmother ten generations ago looked like? You don’t! But her nose is sitting on your face right
now. Your body remember, yes or no? Participant: Yes. Sadhguru: Your body remembers even the skin
tone of your forefathers a million years ago, it still remembers, not forgotten. So, what you’re calling as my body is an
enormous amount of memory, isn’t it? What you carry in your brain as memory is
minuscule, what you carry in your body – there is evolutionary
memory, there is genetic memory, there is karmic memory,
there are articulate and inarticulate levels of memory,
there is so much memory. You know… You think you know how to walk right now,
please understand only because your body has built up that memory,
if your body forgets you won’t be able to walk. So the amount of memory for every simple thing
that you do, you know what to eat, what not to eat,
how to eat, you must put it in your mouth not in your ears. This may look funny but you would not know
if you don’t remember. So your body is a repository of tremendous
amount of memory and it’s picking up all the time. If you walk from here to here (Gestures) there
maybe fifty different kinds of mild smells, you may not consciously notice but the body
is picking it up and it recognizes. All the time it’s recognizing,
that’s how you know what is good smell, what is bad smell, this is this smell, that
is… you recognize the different aspects of sound,
smell, this, that because constant recognition is happening. So, this body memory, traditionally in this
culture, we called this as runanubandha. That means physical memory that you build. You can either consciously build your physical
memory, or you can simply take in wild amounts of memory
and go through lots of co… physical confusion. So, wherever there is impact… I don’t know if you still have these things,
maybe in you… your generation is gone,
but still there will be people in Bangalore City,
if you ask them to… if you try to give them salt, they won’t take it, they’ll say,
“Keep it there.” Hmm? If you try to give them sesame seeds, they
will say, “Please, keep it there,” because they have recognized many substances
which can easily carry your memory and it will become mine if I take it. So, I don’t want to take in memory. This is the reason why generally in this culture,
touching each other, shaking hands, these things are avoided. We touch our own two hands and do Namaskaram,
because we don’t want to go on picking up memory. Because if I as much as touch this, this memory,
it remembers. You try this with four of your friends, you
touch their hands. Don’t try to consciously remember, every
day touch their hands, forget about it. Tomorrow, if that person comes and touches
you, you know it’s this hand, isn’t it? So, the body remembers, it’s not the mind. The physical body remembers; this is called
as runanubandha. When there is a sexual interaction, or there
is any kind of intimacy which involves thought, emotion and body, the amount of memory that
is left in your system is very big. It is from this context, they said, “You
must keep this as simple as possible.” There are other aspects where, in certain
tantric process and all they are involving, they are preparing themselves for years to
distance themselves from the body in such a way,
that the body doesn’t pick up anything from anywhere. This is being done like a sadhana, not as
sexual promiscuity. So, the question is not of morality, the question
is of what is it that you want to do with yourself in your life. If you want to be in such a way
that in your life, your inner intelligence will be the most dominant thing in your life,
not your physical body, then you must keep the body’s memory as
simple as possible. This is why simple types of food. You know, people go into very simple kind
of food, not complicated. Even now, I eat one meal a day, and I eat
only one item in the meal, I won’t eat ten. I may eat all of those things another day,
but today I’ll eat only one item because it makes a huge… Just experiment and see, don’t go by my…
what I’m saying. Just experiment and see especially when your
examination time comes, eat simple food and see what a difference
it makes, for your intelligence how it functions, how
alert you are, everything. So, what is it that you are trying to build
yourself to? Do you want to build yourself to be a sexual
supernova or (Laughter)… No, I’m saying, some people may have that
intention. That’s up to them. But what is it that you want to do with your
life, is something that you must decide. If you have decided that, it’s very, very
important that you don’t unconsciously pick up enormous
amount of memory because this will lead to… later on you will see, it’ll become very
difficult to remain peaceful and joyful in your life. No matter what good things may be happening,
simply because there is confusing memories in the system. When something else of similar nature comes,
the body goes into a turmoil of confusion. It may not translate into your mind. Just physically, it will go on, so it’s a
choice that one has to make. It’s not a question of morality, it is a
question of living sensibly (Applause). Mouni Roy: My question is, complexities of
any relationship, why do they beyond a point become complex? Whether it’s between girlfriends, whether
it’s between boyfriends And specially relationship between a girlfriend
and a boyfriend and husband-wife. Sadhguru: Namaskaram Mouni. So you are beginning to taste the sourness
of relationships. Of course, everybody knows the sweetness of
relationships too but there is also a lot of sourness. Unfortunately today, we have imbibed this
from the West again that if you utter the word “relationship,”
people are generally thinking of body-based relationships
or in some way, it has to be between a man and a woman or whatever else
but essentially, body-based relationship. No, relationships can be of many kinds. If they’re body-based relationships,
usually the excitement about each other’s body will die after some time. What you thought was ultimate, is not ultimate
after some time. It is natural that you begin to grow out of
it, then when the main draw which brought people
together is kind of melting away, without knowing why, they start being unpleasant
to each other (Laughs). Because essentially, such a relationship is
towards extracting sweetness from another person
extracting happiness from another person. So if you try to squeeze joy out of somebody,
after some time, you find when it doesn’t yield the same results as
it used to yield in the beginning, some bitterness will begin. It is important when you are young, certain
things may happen. As you start growing older… When I say older, from yesterday to today,
you’re older. I am not saying you’re old, Mouni, I’m
just saying from yesterday to today you’re a little older. So today, you must be thinking in terms of
that relationships that you hold in your life, not necessarily in terms of biological relationships,
any kind of relationship that you hold if relationship is based on your expression
of joy, not on extraction of joy. For this, you must become joyful by your own
nature, first of all. If you focus on this, that you are an exuberant
overflow of joy, if it is so and your relationship is only about sharing
this, then you don’t have to worry about the normal
circus that people go through in terms of relationships. Managing relationships means, in day to day
life, a relationship may not stay just in one area of life,
once people are together they will have to share many things. Naturally you will start stepping on each
other’s toes for many, many small things that happen. Because of this, there will be many interactions
or you can (Laughs) even call them altercations, they will happen. All this you cannot manage on a daily basis. People think they can manage, after some time
you will see, you cannot manage. So the best thing is to manage yourself in
such a way that you’re a natural, exuberant, joyful being. If this is so, relationships will happen,
and relationships will not be need-based. When relationships are need-based, if what
you need does not come, you will start cribbing, you will start complaining,
and you will start feeling bitter that what you are supposed to get you are not getting. If you eliminate this need within you that
you are a natural overflow of joy, if this one thing you do, you can have fabulous
relationship with every kind of people irrespective of who they are. They don’t have to be your kind. With all sorts of people you can hold wonderful
relationships. May you have the most beautiful relationships
in your life.

Michael Martin

100 Responses

  1. Now I understood why its not a good thing to have sex with many partners. Let's keep it as simple as possible. For last 1 and half years I haven't have sex even once.

  2. I am a sadhak & daily do my sadhana. Please do not mind but I want to know do masturbation affects us. Does it decreases our conciousness or hampers our energy does it acts as a barrier in our spiritual process ????

  3. I have always believed deep down inside that everything we have ever followed has a scientific reason behind it. Thanks to this explanation I understand, and people who thought untouchability was a crime. It's been science of memory. We humans are more complex than I ever thought we were.

  4. few questions-
    1. the body remembers body replication and colour /shape also changes , because of union of two different ppl . when body can hv memory , why minds cant hv ?? though not limited to boundaries … like body has fixed boundary giving it fixed shape .
    2. casual sex does not hv " guilt " factor in west and in most of men , all over world . only when there is guilt factor of any kind and % , it becomes burden for indidual to carry throughout life but also helps in various ways to uplift that individual's capability to differentiate quality of ppl .
    3. i hv seen many ppl who kept their bodies clean in god's path or due to religion , their minds hv become venomous . is it because of too much suppression of basic natural body needs ?? that too for generations together ???
    in such cases the bodies are more or less perfect , how come their minds hv picked up so much of resentment ?? is it guilt factor or hatred for such a waste of life . ??
    4. no relationships can ever occur which are not need based . even friendships . ppl do look for freedom , coziness , comfort , company , or exchange of knowledge /views , to expand their understanding of life . correct me plz if i m wrong .

  5. the information about "the west" on minit 9:27 is suggestive and thus manipulative, the west is as variable in morality , languages and cultures, as it is in India.
    As there is no united india, there is also not a united "West", so dont polarise between west and east, you dont know about "western" relationships
    your ideas are colored by the reflection of your own experience in your relationship

  6. If you do it with awareness a single time could be enough for a lifetime but without awareness you won't be satisfied with hundreds of partners.
    And the joke he cracked in the beginning, it's Osho's.

  7. You need to cover mistakes, even understandable ones, with catastrophic consequences.. For example, if I forgot to close the pool security fence and our baby walked in and drowned. Now tell the parent that it is ok to make mistakes……do you think it help Or another process is involved?

  8. GOD! This man is wrong on soo many levels tht i cant even count! He just says what PEOPLE WOULD LIKE hear the most. tht is as good as truth for him, i guess!
    Utter rubbish.

  9. Why don't you ask Sadhguru…..What may be the spiritual benefit from abstinence? (presuming one is not burning with burning burning passion!!!)

  10. If you close a door, another will open by itself. And this one can bear the greatest long lasting joy if you try to look at it with your inner eyes. This flow will never stop again.

  11. For the very first time in my life I' ve experienced something so beautiful and strange…
    He touched me with his hand in the sacral area and I've felt somekind of orgasm.. A different one, not the usual vagina-klitoris orgasm…
    We haven't had physical intercourse… But his hands are magical

  12. Inner curiosity, This man has changed my life and many more people like me. Ur negative opinion and comments mean nothing to people who have been touched by his wisdom. Don't knock it til u try it. He is teaching us about our bodies and the power we hold. What is there not to trust? If u mean he is in it for money…..so he is making India better with the money he makes. Ok. Again, what is there not to trust?

  13. Love and peace always 💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖💖 💖

  14. Very wise and True.
    Totally diferent from that almost total pornography that osho used to teach.
    Real Tantra is a divine matter, and we are light years from understanding it.

  15. There is one way of having multiple relationships with as many women possible and not absorbing their energy. That is to mediate it off. So after every encounter with the female gender go into mediatation and release the energy absorbed.

  16. Don’t understand why these ‘Bitches’ r asking Stupid Questions 🤬. Can’t they focus on so many other good things in life???

  17. This was very very good. I looove when i have been mulling over something in my head and not getting clear in my decision..then the Source (God, Creator, Infinite Intelligence..) puts me directly in the path of the right person, place, situation, YOU TUBE video 😉….that completely clarifies/confirms what my inner being knew and was calling me to the whole time…..****can i get a "like" from all my fellow stubborn ppl out there 😁😁✌💕

  18. There will be Love and Understanding. Every Day. Intimicy wil become a Treasure of being one, and staying on his own, my friend.
    I can say this, because i know, whats our western world is about. erotic catches Love. where one goes.. So you have to become a Hero, defending sexuelty inwith Love. This attitude solves the Problem. Unfortunetly we live in a world which only can love young bodies with small brains. As you said we are not able to like, being understood.. And this is a tragedy.

  19. If this is true then is it also better if we don't have as many relationships and friendships as possible even if they are genuine, because that's memory too. The more there are, the more confusion. Here by "relationship" i meam it in the same context as Sadhguru said. Not body based but just any relationship.

  20. 11:05 which is what sexual activity actually is
    As a result of which love relationships which start with such a activity don't last longer.

  21. What he speaks of i have always felt but was never told in such a way, it resonates completely with my soul.

  22. . This man is a mistic his views and perception are of a Detached state He never care someone die or not . He has no obligation to anyone He is the master of his own world preaching about Bliss and everlasting freedom and so on. I don't say he is wrong but I tell you that as long as you attached to your wife children family you never attain anything that he talk about .He has all solution for your problems just for few days because after all you are a father or mother or someone wants to lead family life in a society where you deal with people who are not enlightened like sadguru.

  23. I love this channel and I love his wisdom. This explains why I'm not comfortable with more than one sex partner at a time. I have no need to complicate things! It's only a physical relationship but it's simple and it takes care of those needs!

  24. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

  25. What about if a person is raped as a child or adult? How do you let loose of that memory? Many people especially if they were children, suppress the traumatic experiences, but still their body remembers… how do they get rid of the physical/body memory?

  26. God has an infinite, limitless memory, so maybe He does not mind having illicit sex with a limitless number of loose sexy "girls". (Insincere pep talk? Lollipop? Ensuring a level playing field?) – G

  27. I have read that unrequited love is the sweetest love. If this is true (I am not sure if this is true), then all loose s. girls who are experiencing UNREQUITED love for Him (Mission Impossible) must be experiencing sweetest love – making them keep on thinking pleasant thoughts of committing very dramatic imaginary suicide every day. – G

  28. The facts you shared were so real that even I have started realising it on a daily basis and I have started a observing things a lot…

  29. Please!! The more I listen to the Sad Guru, the more I am convinced that we don't need gurus. Let me experience all that I can and LEARN from it. Only I can liberate myself. You want to skip opening the Heart chakra and go straight to the Pineal mastery.. go ahead! Wisdom will never come to the masses in that way.

  30. You should choose the kinda memory you want in your system. The way the person has lived their entire life must be known before even kissing or doing something more intimate. I've always had this inner knowing that it's wrong to even think about someone while touching yourself down there unless there is mutual love n respect. It's tried n tested. Even masturbating to someone's thoughts lets you download some energy from that person via ether n cords you to their chakras n hence their experiences n emotions n demons n entities. Most people don't realize the subtle ways energy works.. Controlling your sexuality for your true love is so very important if you don't want a complicated life. Because this shit is sacred n serious n deep n soulful.

  31. most of the time these memories and confusions of body remains with men and women don't have memories and they move on!!!!

  32. Keep it to cuddling in the shower , nude , without any cross contamination,

    Than its joyful,

    But the moment you have physical contamination like mouth to mouth, oral sex and sexual intercourse,

    Than it's a exchange of sacred energy that needs to be kept between a man and his several wives ,

    But women needs to be loyal to one husband only due to the motherhood process of an unborn child and his balanced memory.

  33. This is a wonderful explanation Sad guru…….I want tell every people that please dont follow the western culture……to me they are very depressed…..listen to their songs full of sadness…….look at their marriage relationship full of divorce…..I feel their life style as a acting in society…….Whenever i see a hollywood movie that whole day of mine will be gone….but when i see good movies of south India(iam from kerala) or a good korean drama…….My heart is filled with joy….for the past 3 years i almost quit hollywood movies……..Westculture(mainly american) is not good for us and it is not our culture….. LONG LIVE INDIA

  34. I know what he is telling about. That's why I eat a:
    simple food, simple cloth, no touchings, no sex(I have no intention to produce children) . Sometimes i call myself the Lord of Memories, because I have a memory library, in my body.

  35. One should not have sex with anyone other than the one they want to stay with, this is to prevent corruption of the energy of procreation, this energy maintains the body, if the energy is unified properly than its effects are amplified and you remain in good health if this energy isn't properly created than dissatisfaction is produced which strains the body causing it to be repulsed by the union, this is why there is dissatisfaction in some relationships and not others.

  36. I very much agree on the suggestion or truth he says that eat only one type of meal a day. I had a lot of anxiety before writing my exam. I used to eat a lot of curd rice, so buttermilk with rice and less salt, helped me control anxiety the day I used to write exams.

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