Relationship Deal Breaker?!

(upbeat dance music)
(audience cheering) (audience chanting) We’re back. It’s time for Ask Wendy. Everybody have a seat. Except for you, come on over. Aha.
Hi, Wendy. How you doin’?
How you doin’? Who are you, where are you from? I’m Lola from Brooklyn, New York. Okay, what do you do? I’m in the Foreign Service. Oh, good for you.
Yes. So now, how can we help? So I’m single in New York City. I’ve been single for about five years. I’d like to get married in the near-ish future. My issue is that I’ve always felt that a guy with kids is a deal-breaker, but I’m now at that age where most guys will have kids. So do I stay sadly single, or do I lower my standards? (everyone laughing) Shout out to all the men with kids.
No offense, no offense. Wow. Well how old are you? I’m 36. (audience groaning)
Well you’re being unrealistic.
Yes, I know. I know.
Yeah. You know, I always say, I’ve been consistent with this, the cutoff mark for dating men with kids is 30. If you’re a 30 year old woman and you’re still dating, open your mind to one. And if it’s two, it’s gotta be by the same woman. (audience laughing)
You’re not ready to get that sloppy that fast. Do you know what I’m saying? Yeah.
Because you’ve saved yours, you don’t have children, do you? No, no.
Okay. And you’re 36. Mhm.
So she’s coming with no children. I think one is fair. Two, if by the same woman.
Okay. Okay. (audience clapping)
Thank you. Okay? Thank you.
You’re very welcome. Come on. Hi Wendy.
How you doin’? How you doin’?
Fine thanks. My name is Morgan, I’m from Charlotte, North Carolina. And me and my fiance have been together nine years. We have two children, and he promised me he’d get a vasectomy after our second child, who he is almost three. So I’ve been withholding sex. What should I do (audience chattering)
to get him to get snipped so that I don’t have to get on birth control? Okay. I hear wrap it over my shoulder, (audience laughing)
but that’s not what I’m going to say to you, I have questions first. Yes.
So how old are you, Morgan? 40.
Okay, you’re 40 years old, you’ve been with him for nine years. Yes.
You have two children, how old are your kids? My girl’s seven, Aida, and Samson is two and a half. Two and a half. And you wanted a third child. No, I do not.
I mean, you do not. No.
And he’s not gotten the vasectomy, but he also hasn’t gotten married. How long have you been engaged? Eight years. (audience laughing)
Eight years. It’s a mutual choice that we’re both not, we’re lifelong committed partners. Okay, but it could be that that commitment is reason that he’s not getting a vasectomy, because he hasn’t, and you also haven’t married him. I mean, you haven’t pushed it, and he hasn’t pushed it. Maybe he’s thinking that if by chance it doesn’t work out with you, he can go to another woman (audience chattering)
and make a new family. (Morgan groans)
You know, that’s the real reality of the situation, you know what I mean?
Mhm. I’m not saying he doesn’t love you. Oh, yeah.
Or that he’s not in love with you. But to me, clap if you think that. (audience clapping)
Okay. So I need to marry him and then he’ll get a vasectomy. I don’t know, the idea that he’s waited this, that you all have waited this long– It’s crazy!
Maybe you don’t need to get married. Maybe there’s a reason behind it. And as far as vasectomy, so what do you sneak and take birth control? No, I withhold. Okay.
(audience gasping) When’s the last time you had sex, Morgan? Well I may have drank a little bit a couple of weeks ago. (audience chattering)
Okay, a couple of weeks. That game’s not gonna work though, you guys have to have a conversation. Yes.
This is over my head. Yes.
You know what I mean? Mhm. Good luck on all accounts.
(audience laughing) Thank you, Wendy.
Alright. More Ask Wendy is next. (audience chanting)
We’re back with more Ask Wendy. Make yourselves at home. Come along, how you doin’? How you doin’? You havin’ a good time? Awesome time, thank you so much! You’re welcome.
(audience laughing) What’s your name, where are you from? Hi Wendy, how you doin’? How you doin’?
(audience laughing) I’m Theo, I’m from Baltimore, Maryland. (Theo and audience cheering)
Hi, Theo! Alright, what could be the problem? (laughs) So I’ve been dating a great, great guy so far. I’m a bit of a introvert, and we met online. Really? (Theo and audience laughing) (Wendy laughs) I know, I’m a fake introvert. Either way, he’s amazing, but at the same time he’s a little bit thirsty, and because I’m a bit of a introvert, he almost asks me out every day. So how do I ask him to ease up a bit without discouraging him from pursuing me? Is he a red flag, or is he too thirsty? What do you think? Well, okay. How old are you? I’m 35. People hate when I ask that question, but age is relative to every situation. How long have you been dating him? Only four months. Four months.
Yes. Do you date other guys also? Er.
(audience laughing) No, it’s okay. I’m trying to establish his importance in your life.
Yes. And it’s not a big deal. Yes.
Alright, how many other guys do you date? One other guy. One other guy. Do you sleep with the other guy? Okay, I don’t know. Okay.
(audience laughing) Have you slept with guy number one that was, Theo, focus.
Wow, you gotta– Have you slept with the first guy? Yes.
Okay. (audience laughing)
You’re a mature woman, you’re takin’ care of yourself. Yes.
Okay, and you’re sleeping with two guys at once. Yes, oh my God. (audience laughing) I’m sorry, momma. And one wants you be his full girlfriend? Maybe, if that’s what he’s, isn’t that what he’s doing by asking me almost every day?
Yes, he wants to be the one or he wants to be the one. He doesn’t know about the other guy, does he? No.
Yeah, exactly. It’s okay, it’s okay.
Congratulations. Everyone doesn’t have to know everything that’s going on in your life if you’re a single person. This is true. This is what I want you to do. Talk to this guy and let him know, and don’t call him thirsty or anything like that. You’re old enough to be able to let him down maturely, but this relationship must stop. And I’m gonna tell you why I’m breaking up another relationship. (audience chattering)
‘Cause he’s too invested, and you’re not, and that’s okay. Clap if you’re with me, co-hosts. (audience clapping)
Okay? Alright.
Thank you, Wendy. That’s the mature thing to do. Have fun out there though, Theo! (upbeat dance music)

Michael Martin

100 Responses

  1. Basically the dude that like her sex is wack but he’s a decent guy and the other guy does her right but he not great on paper

  2. Ain't no man trying to get his balls cut at that age! She trippin and he better keep her drinking so he can continue to get some.

  3. I have to be honest. Dont like the wig line.
    That woman needs to get a female vasectomy. Or break up with him. U look fine girl, u will get another one

  4. why would you put your business out there for all to see? Girl,…..Wendy is for a bit of fun don´t get invested for the advice love

  5. Everyone's here focusing on the fact that a woman has been engaged for 8 years rather than the fact that she's being so forceful on her partner to get a life changing procedure like it's nothing. She sounds dismissive and insensitive.

  6. The first girl. Wendy is wrong, there are plenty of men at your age who are childfree, I'm surprised it's hard for you to find someone. It's not unrealistic to not want a man with kids, when you yourself are childfreee.

  7. youre 40 whatta the chances of you getting pregnant accidentally, i think her fear is him cheating on her and getting someone else knocked up

  8. Wendy wendy wendy … maybe the guy doesn't want any docteur cuting anything away from his penis, its a guy, be a bit more basic…

  9. A vasectomy is a man's decision alone. The fake introvert will be with only one of her lover's after the show. This is if the one she had the question about is at all wise.

  10. I love me some southerns, but seriously morgan, you gotta let that man go. Ladies dont stay engaged for that long. That man is clearly waiting for someone else. You are NOT second best!

  11. I understand what Wendy was trying to say and she’s right. Didn’t Neyo make his black fiancé-never-wife get a hysterectomy and didn’t get his own thing snipped then turned around and had a whole new family with someone else who he actually did marry?Wendy was making it clear that perhaps he hadn’t had his thing snipped because in the back of his mind, he knows that will render him unable to give another woman a child should he one day end up with one. It was actually good advice but the woman got immediately defensive and couldn’t receive it.

  12. I am a single professional successful woman and I would rather hotels in single than to be straddled with a man with kids. Nope…you don't need to lower your standards.

  13. 😂😂 Wendy made it awkward for Theo with all those quizzes.

    “Do you sleep with the other guy?”
    Theo: ohhh okay…..I dunno. Maybe

    But great advices today from Wendy.

  14. Lord God, I thought that first woman was in her 20s! Come through, Black Don't Crack!!

    Lady, and all ladies 33+: I hope you're reading this: Get your FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) checked; as per science, if it's at 30, fertility is zero.

  15. The way that Americans talk about "dating" is literally insane to me (I'm from London).

    Having sex with multiple people at the same time isn't "dating". Dating would be going on dates with One person getting to know eachother over a period of time. An exclusive thing.
    If you're doing stuff with several people, it's called being single, playing the field.

  16. I think women who ask men to get a vasectomy are selfish, why don't you get your tubes tied both are available.

  17. That hat was too small for her head… don’t put those clip in your wig like that honey… noooooo makeover is needed for the First Lady

  18. How dare she ask a man who's not married to her to have a vasectomy! Even as married young man he sould not do that, no marriage comes with a guarentee!! He might find himself divorcing in the near future and starting a new family. Only if a man feels like he's done having kids he should do that. Good luck though..

  19. It is true that the older you get in the dating world, you can not be setting limits on your mate not having children after the age of 35.  Just be picky about dating people with two or more baby mamas/daddies.  Also who is engaged these days for eight years especially up to the age of 40.  Stop playing games and kidding yourself about commitment with ring but no papers.

  20. Very selfish of this woman to ask her man to get Vasectomy , and yet she doesn’t want to marry him ! What about if got separated then poor guy he will be deprived from having kids !!!

  21. I am loving Single Wendy. She looks so happy again. It is season 1 Wendy with a little more maturity but still fun, relate-able, goofy, and humorous. So happy for her. Next time around, when she starts dating again, we are gonna be all over that man. Inspecting, background checking, protective.. we got your back Whhhhendy!!

  22. I don't think the first lady is being unrealistic or unreasonable. There are lots of men today who don't have children. I have four older brothers (all in their 30s) and not one of them has kids. Fewer people are having kids these days that's why birth rates are dropping in many countries. So wanting to be with someone who doesn't have kids is not unrealistic at all.
    As for the 2nd lady, why can't her and partner just use birth control. I don't understand why he HAS to get a vasectomy. Their relationship sounds like a mess tbh. Engaged for 8 years??? Girl sit down lol.

  23. The sounds that lady in the background made when Wendy mentioned that he hasn't married her yet 😂

  24. 36 you mite not be able to have kids as your eggs start dying rapidly now. And you expect the pore bloke not to have one already and to maybe never have one cause what your so great…?
    Unrealistic much.

  25. Yellow isn't introverted in the least. She just needs more time for the 2nd guy, so it would help if the first guy laid off her a little. She gotta roster these guys lmao.

  26. Great advice Wendy and the lady withholding the sex is stupid he is not getting that done so hope you dont mind no sex till he gets smart and leaves you smh what an idiot 😂 sir leave her and start another family fast! 🙄 I wish a woman would ask my son to ever do something like this and they're unmarried shacking up

  27. Don't call yourself an introvert, lady… You clearly are not. You're doing a disservice to all of us introverts everywhere.

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