Q&A: Relationship Advice + Growth AFTER Heartbreak | Jaiden Ashlea

hey everyone stand back another cricket video I today is Tuesday June 25th 5:50 in the afternoon I am at my mom's house in Jacksonville if you can't tell I did a video here before with my sister Kayla's currently at work my moms at work her boyfriend's at work so it's just me here my day kind of started off with me waking up at like 12 o'clock I like 12:30 1:00 we went to the pool like 2 o'clock my sister went home to get ready and so I kind of just have been relaxing since I got here I got the Jacksonville a couple days ago we were on vacation if you do not follow me on my vlog channel be sure to do that to kind of like keep up with my everyday life I guess I'm gonna try and vlog on that a lot more and do like maintain Ovidio 'z exclusively on this so more so just you know sit down talking videos questions and answers hauls all of that I really want to do this Q&A because everyone has been asking so many questions I've seen so much positive feedback on my whole breakup video yes I am currently going through a breakup slash heartbreak it's been like four weeks since me and my ex broke up and it just sounds so weird saying that like hearing that you know you never think that someone could do something like that to you but then they do and that's just like BAM alright well thank you next and we're going to just move on I have continued on with my life I am officially going to be moving out about Austin I'll get first back into my mom's house again but I'm gonna be using it as a transition period I just feel like I've been kind of having like a lot of anxiety there and it's just really not a welcoming place especially because I moved there for him and so I just want to get out of there but before I start I'm gonna give a huge challenge I'll be Auto comforts because they sent me this amazing blanket as you can see it came as you can see it came in this bag right here is so heavy this blanket is like a weighted blanket you purchase your blanket based off weight so if it's for just you you'll get it for like one person or if it's for a couple it's supposed to just kind of get rid of anxiety and hug your body just right and so that's why it is really really heavy it is a microfiber comfort combo it is the weighted piece that goes on the inside and then the outside cover is this super freakin soft I could just use this as the blanket but once I put it all together I'll have my sister help me this blanket is literally amazing a friend of mine had it and I saw it and then I'll be on I reached out and I was just like absolutely so the good thing about this blanket is that it does come in two pieces so this is the outside cover and the other piece doesn't get dirty so you can just take this off and wash it itself the other side is just normal on this side has like bumps offer like seven pound ten pound fifteen twenty twenty-five thirty I do have a lot of trouble falling asleep some nights so I'm so excited to see how it helps me so it just kind of feels like a big hug and that's really what like I like the most about it because I went from sleeping with someone every single night for like four months to sleeping by myself so it just kind of has been like a weird transition but this blanket has definitely helped me so thank you ollie on oh so much if you guys want to check them out the description will be down below I don't promote things unless I really do like them I have in the past but I kind of realized like I was giving you guys false advertisement so this definitely is a must if you're looking for something to help with anxiety or you know something along the lines of that but like I said thank you a Fionna I'm going to be using this the rest of my video I know the weighted blanket part is not inside of it right now cuz I took it out but I'm just gonna use this for right now only a limited amount of the blankets will be available for 25% off so I highly suggest you get it now that way they're not all gone because my code which is gonna be down below will help you get that 25% off so be sure to do that so we can get into this QA I feel like I need some water like a lot of breath y'all get some popcorn get a snack or something because this is going to be a long video I asked you guys on Instagram to ask me some questions and I got these literally there are probably a good hundred more but I can only answer so many I'm gonna start off with a part 1 video there will be a part two to this but for right now I don't want to have an hour-long video just talking and talking so I know some people don't like that so I'm gonna answer as many as I can within the time span of this video I am going to be going to a dance class tonight at one vibe hopefully I can vlog it I really am hoping that I have a fun time I used to dance when I was younger so well see the first question have you ever been cheated on and how to deal with it so yes I was cheated on not with my last boyfriend but the boyfriend before that you all know yes I'm not gonna say names because I'm not trying to give clouds to anybody else because I had done enough of that I'm not gonna give too much information just because like it's back in my past but yes I was cheated on we were together for about three years towards the end of that relationship there was a lot of cheating going on on his end so the way I dealt with it at first was really really bad I kind of just kept being in denial about it and I think that's the worst thing you can do so my biggest tip is to just realize that that person is able to do that to you so if they did to you once I can do it to you again my way of dealing with it was like talking to other people like trying to gain my self-confidence back I left how Hasse because that's where all of that shenanigans happened and once I left I was able to come back because I needed to just get my mind together I really just needed to get my bearings and realize like I am better than that and I didn't deserve that so number two do you believe in moving too fast if you want to ask you this four months ago out what I said no asking me this now definitely I think that it's so easy to get wrapped up in the idea of a relationship and like falling in love that you just want to just you want to keep things moving quickly you want to move in together you want to have kids you want to get a dough and you wanted this you wanted that kids thing it's kind of extreme but like you want to move in together you want to get a dog you want to have that commitment you want to feel like that person is yours forever so you try to do things to make you feel like you know they can't go anywhere which is completely wrong because no matter what you do for that person they will leave you they can leave you you can leave them no one is entitled to be with someone and no one is entitled to have to stay so moving too fast definitely can happen especially when you lose yourself in a relationship and that does happen a lot as well yes it can so you really should be aware and remember that like you're supposed to be living your own life as well and that other person that comes into your life should not dictate what you do where you go who you're with your friends you should be able to live your own life be your own person and that kind of should prevent you from moving too quickly how am i handling the break-up well I kind of talked about at the beginning I'm okay I get sad sometimes I still miss him sometimes I miss it every day as of right now I still think about him but that's just normal because I did care about him and loved him so much and I guess I do still have love for him in my heart because it was my best friend so even though I know I don't want to be with him like boyfriend wise I kind of just wish that I was able to be friends with him but I just know it's not fair to me to let him get that part of me still when he couldn't even handle the relationship part of me it's a lot my my first step to all of this really is leaving Valdosta I deleted the channel so the channel was gone I don't have to see any of that the videos are gone I'm kind of just going one day at a time it does get really hard I do get sad I do get angry you know sometimes I just want to call him and I know I can't it's a process it's a journey like I said one day at a time I'm getting through it and I know a couple months from now I will be perfectly fine but as of right now I'm still little and how to get over an ex you really loved well I would say that my last boyfriend not my ex but my ex ex I thought I really loved him so getting over him was a lot different than getting over my last ex because I felt like the love I had for Brandon was a lot more deep and genuine so I'm still figuring it out I can't even give you guys any advice on that because I'm still trying to get over it myself and you know once it happens I can think back like what did I do so I'm currently still trying to do it myself so I can't answer that I'm sorry but we'll work on it together I promise are you still friends with Rachel and medicine absolutely to both of them rachel is my older roommate / Billie which is like a big in a sorority but for the modeling troupe that I'm in she was my roommate best friend basically like my mom's sister everything in one we still communicate she's a really busy person she has grown and all her grown woman ish so when we do get to talk it's nice we went on a girls trip like a little while ago so hopefully this summer she's gonna be coming to LA with me for a little bit but as far as Madison goes it has been a little bit difficult trying to balance being friends of Madison and Brandon being friends of Madison as well so Madison was Brandon's friend first so I can't just be like well you have to be friends of me you can't be friends with him so it's kind of like a constant reminder of Brandon every time I'm with her just because something always come up or like her boyfriend is best friends with Brandon so it is kind of difficult but I still love her and I'm not gonna stop being friends with her just because she's friends with Brandon like eventually I'll move on and it won't even bother me anymore it's not like she's rubbing it in my face or anything like that I think we're all handling it pretty well and they kind of are respectful like my friends that I've made through him are respectful of that should you ever take an ex back never have but that's because my relationships never really ended very well if you guys break up for reasons that are mutual and it's respectful and later on down the line you guys come back together and the person is like 100% committed to you I say yes it's not a terrible idea but you also have to remember there was a reason you guys broke up so if that reason really isn't valid anymore than go for it personally I haven't done that so why are guys okay with cheating and why are guys afraid of commitment my answer is FOMO the fear of missing out everyone has FOMO once in their life I feel like hey guys it kind of happens a little bit more in my experience I could be totally wrong but guys are always afraid that you know there's another girl out there that's better than the girl they're with or they want to live that college life they want to experience parties and mess around and do whatever they're gonna do so I think that's why guys are afraid of commitment because they're afraid to be tied down to one person and the way a woman's mind and heart works is completely different than a guy yes they do have feelings and they care just like we do but they carry on like a different level I think that's why they're afraid of commitment and as far as the whole cheating thing goes I don't really know everyone makes mistakes everyone I feel like has cheated once in their life and if not good people aren't really okay with cheating after the fact once it's happening in the moment normally people just won't care or they will care I don't I don't really know how to explain and I can't really explain it from my side cuz I've never really cheated so people don't feel the way you feel and so it's kind of hard to put yourself in that position of why are they okay with doing the things that they do I asked myself that all the time why did he do what he did and why does he not feel bad it's just an answer I'm never going to get and I have come to the realization of that J&B channel we deleted that dead done goodbye how to just stop loving someone some of these questions tie in together but you don't just force yourself to stop loving someone you fall out of love with them just how you fell in love with them you have to slowly fall out of love with them you'll stop thinking about them every now and then when you hear a song you won't think of them or eventually you'll you'll hear the song you'll think of them and it won't hurt you know it's just like a process of forgetting falling in love with something else I'm trying to fall in love with myself currently so that's like what I'm working on I don't know you can't just stop loving someone like you just can't like my very first boyfriend my very first real boyfriend were together for like two years and heist and then we broke up he gave us high school yeah we broke up and he moved and I still feel like I have love for him because he was like my first and I really we kind of talk every now and then love is difficult love is confusing but love shouldn't be hard so I feel like if you have to stop loving someone there's a reason I don't know I don't have all the answers I don't think you're gonna stop loving someone how to let go of toxic people this makes me so angry because people can be so terrible to view and like people can get abusive people can get physically abusive mentally abusive and not even realize they're doing it and it takes a strong person to realize that there's people in their life is that are toxic and to remove them is to just cut them off I personally feel like if you want to get rid of someone toxic you have to cut them out of your life 110 percent no ifs ands or buts no friendship connections no nothing because you're constantly gonna be reminded of it they're constantly gonna try and get back in your life you have to just put your foot down into like I want nothing to do with you you are not good for me and so that's when you take the steps necessary and you just move on with your life living in Valdosta do you feel safe it depends on what you mean by safe I don't feel like I'm going to be physically harmed by anyone I mean at the apartment complex I live in current Madison's car got stolen right literally when we were like inside and we had no idea I mean there's gonna be crime anywhere you go as far as the whole like Brandon thing goes like I do live above him and that does really suck because he has friends and knew this and you that and wants nothing to do with me so I'm kind of just up there sad and I'm that's one of the main reasons why I'm leaving because I do not want to be a part of him moving on in his own way because I am moving on in my own way and it's not as quickly as him I just have to leave because it's just not right for me it's not good for my heart or my mind so getting out of there is my best bet how to cope with depression and being sad I've only really been depressed too once in my life I wouldn't really consider me being depressed now because I still get up I still go do my normal things I'm just a little sad when I do it so handling depression people handle depression in their own way so you can either go to a doctor you can get medicine you can surround yourself with positive people and do things that you love and that's personally what I like to do I don't really want to take medicine for depression or anything because I feel like it changes your your way of thinking it makes you not you it makes you the person that you are but I've never taken it so I really don't know that's just me kind of assuming that's why I've always just kind of tried to get myself out of that rut up I hate my life things are so terrible you know you have to be the one to pull yourself out of it because no one else is going to do that people are gonna try but at the end of the day people have their own things to worry about and own things to handle and situate you have to be strong you have to be like okay this is not how I want to live my life no one wants to live the rest of their life sad you have to encourage yourself to be great to do better to do good things as far as being sad goes honestly I still am sad sometimes my biggest tip on being saddest do things that don't make you sad do things that distract you because the more you distract yourself the more you forget about it going to this dance class tonight and I was a little sad earlier but once I realized I was going to the dance class my mood changed immediately I did my hair I did my makeup I'm filming this video like it's crazy what doing things that make you happy do for yourself internally because you know just what you got to do things that make you happy that's what I feel like I stopped doing in my last relationship I was still doing things for myself but not everything made me happy what are some things that helped you move on to dance class that I haven't even done yet but I already feel great listening to good music listening to Liz oh she's my girl listen to making the stallion that's my girlfriend's thing with my family I would on vacation doing things like I said that make you happy and that make you just forget about it because forgetting about it slowly will heal you how to open up after heartbreak well after my last boyfriend not my current ex but the one before that I think we stopped like officially even talking to each other in August maybe July of 2018 and I didn't start dating or talking to anyone really until I met Brandon like I had talked to people here and there but even then I'm just none of them really made me want to be in a relationship I just still felt like I wasn't good it depends on the person that she me depends on the people that you meet once I met him I felt like I opened up a lot more now I'm gonna get into that because all of that was bullshit you have to just be open to the idea of moving on and that's kind of what I'm stuck with right now like I don't want to move I know I have to so trying to talk to other people don't use other people and make them think that you like them like make them aware that you are going through things and that you just want to talk to them to make them happy to hear be your friends and I feel like that's what I have been doing I did get a tinder that's wonderful that really has not helped me at all because I have not I might have added a few people on snapchat and talked to them but I don't know sometimes I get on it to distract people and then I see people that I know and I'm like okay no like I need to get off of this like I still don't even know why I downloaded it are you ever in and friends as of right now no and that's all I'm gonna say physical abuse and how to handle it I've never been physically abused by a guy or anyone so don't allow that don't allow someone to put their hands on you or hit you in any sort of way call the cops that's what I do if someone hit me I'd be so dramatic he hit me I would just drag it out but if they are constantly constantly hitting you they have mental issues do what needs to be done in order to get them out of your life dealing with insecurities I'm insecure I have my days where I just feel fat where I feel ugly where I feel like my hair is gross and I shouldn't cut it it's a journey of loving yourself for sure making sure you realize your Worth is important reminding yourself that you are beautiful to someone and reminding yourself that you're beautiful to yourself like look yourself in the mirror and say I am beautiful I am gorgeous you have to be your own high man because sometimes people aren't gonna do it you're not gonna hear what you want to hear someone may call you ugly and it just ruin your whole day a tip that I started kind of doing is when I see something that looks really good compliment them compliment other people because you never know what they're going through you never know how they're feeling that person could be you that I compliment you never know like you just want to spread positivity to get it back in the universe red flags in a relationship that they aren't happy they just stop doing things for you they get a little more selfish you don't really notice them until after the relationship is over so I didn't really notice that he wasn't happy until after he broke up with me because I was just so in love I just wasn't looking I didn't think in my head that he'd ever leave looking at it now there was things that he wouldn't do things he didn't want to do like him not being as lovey there's certain things that he stopped doing that's my signs that I saw but all guys are different all guys handle certain situations differently so it just really depends on the person that you're dating top 5 healing tips doing things that you love hanging out with family and hanging around people who push you to be better in our positive exercising being healthy self-care traveling I feel like you get out of your little box you get out of the area the space where you and your significant other were you want to just begin the healing process you want to realize that there are so many people in the world that you will meet one day so many people that haven't even been blessed to see you yet next question moving in together is it a good idea well I thought moving to the same town was a good idea but I was very wrong when I did move to vote off so we didn't move in together we both had our own apartment which is probably the best decision I've made now that we're not together I do have my own space and I didn't have to move away instantly like I feel like you need to be with someone for a good year or two before you move in with them and I was just still in love that I was just like you know what I don't care I'm gonna do it anyways I want to see you everyday and seeing him every day is what tore us apart so talking to people fresh out of a relationship is it a good idea it depends on how a hurt in affected you are by the relationship so me right now I'm still hurting and still sad and so I am talking to people here and there but it's nothing serious whatsoever I kind of just want really good friends right now in my life I don't really need any sort of commitment or anything like that so it just depends on how well you are a healing because you don't want to rebound you don't want to start talking to other people to make yourself feel better like once you're healing and once you're okay with yourself and you've moved on from that person then it's okay to really start talking to people but everyone's different if you feel like you're over that person 110 percent go for it this last one signs of cheating the person being really sketch about you looking at their phone like in a relationship you shouldn't really have access to the person's phone but if you feel like they are hiding something and you try to go through it and they automatically pull it away girl don't be oblivious don't be oblivious to the BS and people put you through girls have really good gut feelings Dada gut feeling is 99% of the time correct so if you feel like that's happening and you confront them and they still lie just find it girls are so good at finding things and figuring things out so that's what I would do probably isn't the best advice being in a relationship where you're being cheated on you just want to know the information and once you know something you want to know more so when I was with that other guy who cheated on me he just continuously continuously lied and lied and guys become impulsive when they're lying and they're cheating believe that gut feeling okay that is going to be it from my part one today I answered all these questions I have a few more on the back that I'm still working on that was just a lot of questions and I hope I helped I feel like I'm kind of out of breath this video and my mind is just all over the place but I hope I could give you guys some words of encouragement I really want to start doing more motivational videos because feel like I've helped you guys a lot and it kind of helps me just being able to talk about things talking to people about your issues I feel like kind of gives you a sense of the word I'm looking for it gives you that validation of okay this is happening the first step to dealing with an issue is accepting that you're wrong accepting what happened accepting the whole situation itself and being able to say yourself okay I need to move on thank you guys so much for always supporting me and always being here no matter what boy I'm with no matter what boy does me dirty you guys always love me you always deal with my emotional breakdown so I really do appreciate it you guys mean the absolute world to me I will be going to LA August seventh through 14th / beautycon so see me there I didn't get invited this year so excited because I will be there as an official influencer which is liddie in the city so thank you guys for watching be sure to give this video a big thumbs up subscribe to my post if occations I head over to the vlog Channel I love you and thank I've been this

Michael Martin

22 Responses

  1. I love the way you express yourself 💕 Everything you say comes from such a genuine, sweet and loving place.

  2. I needed to hear this💕 explained every little situation I’m going through and it helped a lot!

  3. I always thought medicine won’t help depression eventually it’ll stop working:( sometimes you have to go through the darkness to get to the light💖🥰

  4. I’m going through this same thing. I really needed to watch this! Your amazing and beautiful and such an inspiration

  5. My ex and I broke up like 4 months ago and he just texted me today I’ve been so freakin happy just doing my thing and today he messed me up agaaiiinnnn he texted me to talk shit on me

  6. This made me feel like you are my big sister cheering me on by telling your story. i look up to you SO much. thank you for speaking up. Love this vid so so much. Keep going girl!! cheering you on!!

  7. Healing hearts 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

  8. i am going through a break up we just broke up today i dont know what to do i loved jim alot what do i do to get over him

  9. I'm going through the exact thing but your videos have helped me alot thank you!! Your very beautiful and amazing!! 🤗💕💖💖💞

  10. “I wish I was able to be friends with him but I know it’s not fair to me to let him get that part of me still” you’re speaking straight to my heart

  11. You’re such an inspiration Jai. I needed this and I’m sure others did as well. Keep thriving to be the best version of yourself. ❤️

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