MOST IMPORTANT Thing Your Husband NEEDS From You! – Marriage Advice

what is it that a man wants from his wife what is the primary emotion that he wants from his wife well the primary emotion according to modern psychologists are bringing the Quran and Sunnah later the primary emotion that men want from their wives is that of respect and by the way I can bring in the Quran and Sunnah to demonstrate this reality Allah subhana WA Ta'ala says utterly jalal wa Munnar than Lisa that men are a worm over women and Pawar means to be in charge of this is the literal meaning of the quran quran means the one who will take care of the other a one means the one who will be the one in charge so what is the one in charge the one who is shown respect and we have that famous hadith and no doubt this idea is misused and abused and we have to point this out as well but it is the famous hadith that when once more I live in general came back from Syria and he entered the Masjid of the Prophet system and he fell down in sajda in front of the professor and the professor son said to him be Ahmad what are you doing who told you to prostrate to me why are you doing this so more either bin Java said I returned from Syria I found the people prostrating to their rabbis and their elders out of respect and I felt you deserve this respect more than those priests and as rabbis what did our process some say so famous ready I should say it's an infamous I need all of you have heard of it but I want to be clear here it's not my job to apologize on behalf of what the promises of them said it's not my job to cover up his teachings it is my job to teach those teachings whether a person likes them or not what did the professor sell him say verily Allah has forbidden any human to prostrate to another human hadith is in Bukhari and Muslim without the Tim it is clearly authentic verily Allah has forbidden any human to prostrate to another human but if he were to have allowed this if a concession were to have been made there is no concession if a concession were to have been made I would have told the wife to prostrate to her husband out of what the respect and duty she owes to him now is this prostration it is the prostration of respect the prostration of respect and what does this show that the wife gives respect to the husband and what will the husband give back the husband will give back that love that cherishing that nurturing that the wife craves so the question is what does it mean for the wife to respect the husband – what does it mean to show him respect a few very specific points number one respect his knowledge and his judgment wives respect your husband's knowledge and judgment when your husband makes a decision don't double guess him don't doubt him don't try to make him feel he's Intel he's not intelligent he's not qualified to do what he's doing in other words don't treat him like a child classic example classic example happens all the time husband is driving and the wife thinks that this is the wrong way the wife says no you should exit here you just missed the highway exit this is where you're supposed to exit from right what has just happened here the husband because irritated I know where I'm going Dori I know it's right ahead right what's happened here well the wife has doubted her husband's sense of power sense of being in charge sense of responsibility and what happens here when they when a husband is challenged he becomes what's he gonna become when he's challenged argumentative he becomes immediately he'll retort back what do you know you did this you did that now if he turns out to be wrong and you were right this leads me to point to suppose you were right that was the exit well then this leads me to point to let the husband make his mistakes and learn from his own mistakes because when he makes a mistake he won't be able to get angry at anybody else but when you make a mistake and you tell your husband to make that mistake you're never gonna hear the end of it and you all know what I'm talking about let the husband make his mistake and let him learn from his mistake and don't become his mother believe me no man wants to marry a motherly figure he has his mother at home did enough for that he doesn't want his wife to start lecturing him to start daunting him like only his mother is allowed to taunt him right mothers have privileges they don't extend to their daughter-in-laws so suppose he did take that wrong turn suppose he missed the exit guess what he's never going to miss that exit ever again he's learned from his mistake and the fact that you didn't put it in his mind you did it you were just quiet you let him do his decision fellows no big deal next time it's not going to happen the third point about showing respect Trust his capability in taking on the projects that he wants to take on don't be sarcastic or diminishing of any project he feels that he wants to do so for example there's a leaky faucet and your husband comes in with the tool bars the plumbing the the the wrench and everything and you're like chair you're gonna fix the leaky faucet what have you just done you've taken his ego and you didn't just take a pin and Peart you took a knife and you thrust it in his heart like literally the husband will say if I can't even take care of a leaky faucet you don't think I'm taking a pible of this what do you think I'm capable of what you've done is and I'm gonna be very frank here and I speak as a man men I'm sorry and I apologize for giving the secret away but I have to for our own marriages men I know this is gonna come as a shock to you sisters men have big egos I know it's gonna come as a shock to you their egos Marshall lots of Arakawa so if you do anything to diminish that ego you have Hertz mailed right you have hurt male pride so you let the man foster his ego let him if you think he self did you did let him be self deluded he loved you back in return and in the end of the day that's what you want don't it doesn't it right you want to be loved and cherished and admired let him make a mistake and I will tell you another thing sisters frankly if your husband does take on a challenge you will be surprised when times out of 10 he'll actually finish it in a decent manner this is the factor that matter when men make mistakes they'll go back and do it again and do it again and do it again until they get it right Allah created us that way Allah created us that way for you to hover over him and always pinpoint him or find a falter diminishes his ego honestly this is very problematic and frankly it's humiliating and painful for the delicate male ego the man feels he's the protector if you will challenge him and say how can you protect me from a leaky faucet then you have basically said I don't trust your judgment you have basically said I don't feel you're qualified to take on protecting me and taking care of the household the bottom line let him take on his challenges suppose he wants to write a book suppose he wants to do a project let him do it let him find out his own way maybe he's not the best plumber fine but when you diminish his ego this will cause problems in his heart for you he's not going to love you the way you want him to love you you need to allow him the impression of being the nourisher the provider the Kalam he's the one who will protect you so you take refuge in him you seek shelter in him yes honey you will fix the leaky faucet and guess what inshallah he will actually end up fixing the leaky faucet also when you must bring up something negative and sometimes you have to I'm not saying you always be quiet and never point out a mistake or something when you must bring up something negative choose your wording and the tone of your voice with great caution one of the main reasons that men complain about the nagging of their wives always the wives are nagging right is because they feel a woman's nagging is equivalent to disrespecting a man feels that the wife who always reminds me again back to the leaky faucet right honey you haven't fixed the faucet yet can you fix the faucet it's been a week it's been two weeks when you're gonna fix the faucet when you keep on putting it this way what's happening the man will feel now a hatred to fix the faucet she's bothering me soma it's not going to bring about a positive change rather you allow him the opportunity in a positive tone so for example now by the way the reason why the man is not fixing the faucet is because he has other priorities he has a deadline at work and he knows that deadline is more important than a leaky faucet he has other issues his own priorities right you don't have those priorities he does so what you do is you remind him in a gentle manner honey I know I've reminded you last week of the faucet I know you have other things to do whenever you get a chance to shower look can you take care of that it's just a tone it's just a positive attitude rather than being negative not to be sarcastic but rather to be somewhat positive and if you must complain never use the phrase you rather use the phrase I let me give you an example your husband comes home late and he didn't call you he didn't call you he's late from work then you get angry at him you never call me when you're late you should always call me what have you just done daunted him right mothers and fathers can say that to their children betta you must call before you're late yes that's fine but for the wife to do this honestly it's not going to bring about the loan you know what I will teach you that phrase when you say it well llahi every time he's late he will call you what is that phrase honey you didn't call me and you were late and I was worried for you instantaneously I got worried I didn't know where are you I didn't know what to this instantaneously you will give him such a big guilt trip you'll go to the moon and come back for you it's just a matter of phrasing it so that you make him feel like a man you were supposed to take care of me and you didn't because you made me feel worried for your safety so all you did rather than treat him like a child rebuke him you become the wife and you say I got worried you were late I was waiting for your call right when you put it on yourself and and this applies to any situation by the way suppose the husband was a bit harsh and something that he said rather than saying you always say that you should say I felt hurt when you use this race change it back on you and when you say I felt hurt automatically the husband will feel man I was too harsh I shouldn't have done that he will feel guilty and that's what you want your husband to feel when he is even harsher – you want him to feel guilty when you rebuke him he's not going to feel guilty and you all know this from experience right you want him to feel like a man be a woman and he'll feel like a man act as a woman act in a feminine manner and he will come and be your Savior and your knight in shining armor but you have to be the damsel in distress to get that knight in shining armor until you're the damsel in distress that knight in shining armor is never going to appear the final point for the sisters never ever in any circumstance Pratt could joke about your husband's honor or capabilities in public never do this it's always going to be very detrimental the husband never wants to be made fun of by his wife and that is not going to bring about anything positive in the husband sisters let me ask you would you like it if your husband teased the way you looked in public if your husband's talked about a few pounds you've gained over the summer and Ramadan in public how would you like it well male egos are even more fragile as I said so if you really kill something they attempt it if you really kill the project that they did in public you are really hurting his ego rather do the opposite praise him next time you're at your in-laws you have his parents there praise him and praise Him attune to the face of his parents and his relative mashallah he takes such good care of me mashallah he's a loving person suppose you wash the dishes once last year just once you say Marshall it's about Alcala he washed the dishes believe me the next day he's gonna watch the dishes / it's a matter of Oz ative encouragement positive encouragement you'll be that damsel he will become your Prince and your knight in shining armor you

Michael Martin

21 Responses

  1. What about Aisha behavior towards prophet s.a.s. Some sisters are much more respectful to husbands then her but still end up guilty becouse they take advantage of their rights as man

  2. my mom always warning me that man are more sensitive than woman, they are more easy to get hurt, so be careful of what you say and what you doubt.

  3. This speaker has no sense of peace love humility pride ego comes from shaiten devil why are you saying its okay. Men need to build their spirt to love to be strong to build. I find this lecture offensive and I don’t care how many Hadiths you tell me I believe in peace and love.

  4. I find this lecture sexist because when man makes decisions it should be with his wife but for him to make everyone decisions even if he’s wrong respect him no. Stop creating narcissistic men we have enough already.

  5. When i read the comment section, i think there is no end to this argument.
    I can't say the fact that was stated by womens in the audience are wrong. And i can't say men are wrong either. Because every situation of marriage is different.

    But i think..
    As a women. Probably we can respect our husband for Allah.
    Some says that, when women respect her husband, men takes advantage. I think if we only respect our spouse so that we gain a respect.. We need to change that.
    To be honest, all the comparisons with sahabi and rasulllah s.a.w are too much.

    If we respect a human being because they deserved it, do you really think that we will ever be able to do that. No one is perfect? No one is good enough from others. This dunya.. Not a place to judge.

    So.. We respect. Because that is what Allah wants, not because they deserved it.

    Love and peace to everyone

  6. I love traditional masculinity, BUT: when i told him i was translating a book of Bengali poetry from English, he started laughing at me. "U cant be capable of that, u need a poetry mind for that". It hurt me so deeply, i will never forget. I finished the book and one of my friends, who is an editor, helped me publish it. He never read it. I always write short stories and collect them in a new book: he never asked what i am writing about, not a single time. I thought a man would love to know the deep thoughts of his wife, what her concerns about the world r, what is having such impacts on her…that she needs to write about. Its a way of discovering ur partner, right? He never bothered with one question. I am calling him myself "baba", like our daughters, i am like his little girl, he is melting then. He needs be babied when he is sick, i do it. He is engineer and manager, has stress at work, i always comfort him, always calming him down so that he could deal properly with his superior. About his work, yes, he always talks to me. He WANTS me to be like a wife, mother, sister, FRIEND… and i am all that, he says it himself. But when it comes to MY needs, everything becomes just so…formal. For long years i have told myself he is just too stressed, a lot of responsibilities, as many members of the family hang on him as well. But i KNOW that the man who loves his wife can fix her back with only one word, its not what u say, its HOW u say. He has 6 sisters, two of them love me crazily, i think this is why i am still a part of this family, plus my daughters, obviously, but my daughters r my own family. I am caring, i am funny, i am peaceful, he feels like the man of the men when he goes for two hours with his friends for a coffee in weekend and his wife doesnt freak him out with phone calls, its him who calls:"I am coming, need anything from outside?", while the friends's wives had called ten times to complain they were left alone for too long. He is happy because i am convenient. But he doesnt love me. So, its a two ways Street, people! Remember that!

  7. I love my husband. I always interfere and he never tells me off he listens and mutually respects me for having an opinion. If I’m wrong he will explain why I’m wrong and why I should drop that thought. I’m so happy I don’t have to tip toe around him Alhumdholillah. Allah swt give my husband a long healthy happy life and may he always find success and may our love for each other grow even more as we get older, ameen.

  8. I am a man, but I have learned out of childish experience, that you need to treat Your women as you would love to be treated. Be fair with them, if you have a job, they have many Jobs if many kids home. If the husband does not have a job, you got to do 50% at home of her duties. Most men don’t appreciate all the cleaning, all the wheening and crying, watching kids is tough! Try it for 1 week, you will cry like a baby to Your wife and beg her to take care of the kids, literally! But what I dislike about women is they never NEVER keep their mouths shut when a husband is serious, they always want to talk back, In the end, the husband is the guilty One and needs to apologize, maybe give some hugs and tell her you love her over and over again. This is annoying, why do women always WIN Even though they started it and really it was their fault! They can Twist soo good SubhanaAllah. Women are EVIL! 😂

  9. The issue is you guys telling us to tolerate men's ego ignorance to us and love him with whole heart.. that is not possible. This type of advice actually pose Islam to outside word as a religion which is supports oppression to women. where Islam is the religion which gives women the true value. That is why Ayesha (RW) quarrels with Muhammad (PBUH) and Muhamamd (PBUH) liked that too. You are saying stuff which is not possible and will be a punishment to the women.

  10. The question is Does Allah (SWT) permit this type of ego? When your wife is saying hey you took the wrong road and out of ego when man does not listen to it..does Allah SWT permit that type of arrogance of knowledge? I dont t hink so. Allah(SWT) gave men anger that does not mean he is OK to show it..Allah(SWT) gave men ego that does not mean he is OK to show it..When you live with a person for your whole life it is very difficult to obey him like a slave you are allowed to quarrel with him. That is why Ayesha (RW) quarreled with Muhamamd (PBUH).

  11. Men makes mistakes too many times , what I should do when I text him while working and he doesn't reply he keeps busy with chatting with another people ?? Should I get not angry on him ?? It's hard sometimes , and if I say clearly then he'll say am spying on him , please answer when anyone feels to write a correct comment

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