MM Personal Q & A: His Past Marriage & Partnerships


Shake this up a little bit. So we’re
gonna get the next question, and it is, let’s see, oh well of course, are you
married or have you been and what’s your take on partnership or where you got
with partnership something to that effect. No, I’m not married, and I’m not
married and completely unavailable, basically. So let me explain that one. I
was married roughly 1980 to 1990 roughly again you ever take a year but 1980 to
1990 and loved it I mean loved in the sense of I met a a high school friend
and we found each other as soul friends I don’t know you could say it was big
deep romantic or anything like that it was just you know just soul friendship
and that’s how we connected and and that’s why we couldn’t connect anymore
because it was really meant to be more than that and we’re still soul friends
so it’s pretty cool that way till around 1990 and then and I had kids you know
just a years too after getting married and it had the first one and I had three
daughters and that was really cool had a great life with them especially
the first half of their lives then comes divorce and changes and you
know then there’s disruptions that that kind of affect people and it’s one of my
regrets I think in life is would love to have provided a different kind of space
for them forever but I’m very proud and excited for the time I created what I
created for them in the first half of you know that and and as best I could
the rest of the time too but I was married and technically you could say
legally legally I was married a second time and that was really to support a
friend for various reasons I can’t explain but just a support a friend
so you could say technically I was married twice but
once and don’t know that I would do it again it’s not necessary in my opinion
so I don’t well one thing I’ve tried to get across to people is instead of
saying I’m married I’m not available because I’m married or I’m not doing
such and such because I marry I’m saying you know although I’ve chosen in the
last 10 years of my life a couple of intimate relationships
I believe in if you’re going to be in a committed relationship then have an
agreement and then stick to that agreement if you’re not then let it be
known to yourself in your partner or your friends or whomever that’s where
you’re at so I like that it’s important to be honest in the sense that you’re
committed you’re not committed because you can have a partnership and it may
not be committed but that’s ok as long as everybody knows so but I do believe
that we can be far more in love than like my intimate friend my partner or my
first wife we were soul friends and I think there was more love and respect
there than in most marriages I’ve ever seen and when it was over it was still
almost like it wasn’t over because of our habit of being married but also
connecting you know friendship respect I didn’t feel right being the type that
you know introduces his kids to the latest girlfriend I didn’t feel right
I’m not telling you it’s wrong for you it just didn’t feel right for me and for
her and I had a guy that I knew one time he said you know you’re the most
faithful unmarried guy I have ever met because I was being faithful to somebody
I wasn’t married to anymore but it was faithful that were really more respect
than anything else I didn’t want to see her feelings and so on so I did what I
could with that and that’s about it and when it comes to relationships a long
story short because I’ve shared this somewhere in lectures married 18 1980 to
19 then really stayed out a relationship
for a few years it took a little something for me to step into that first
was probably with a friend that was close so that was nice and convenient
for each of us coming out of marriages but also you know and there were
exceptions there were there’s an exception here and there with a friend
that we were into it or something but that’s probably the first and I then I
met somebody that was really a good like a like a it would be like an intimate
friend we were hanging out it was the first time I ever was now instead of a
wife or a or a post marriage person it was somebody that was just more like a
friend and we hung out I was probably 30 she might have been 26 or something and
I’m here I am 30 something that is and Here I am having not been I never dated
I never I mean technically I still have never dated officially which is kind of
strange to say but it’s true but we we for the first time I would we’d hang out
like a friend that you were in a relationship with I hadn’t had that so
that was kind of cool and we had a commitment to do that and only that for
a year or two and it worked just beautifully and then you know our
commitment our contract of time came to an end and we parted ways because she
really was ready for an ongoing partnership which I was traveling all
the time I couldn’t do that so we talked about it we agreed well that wouldn’t be
able to that wouldn’t be my circumstance so we parted ways with love and respect
and you know I counseled her now and again with relationship issues for the
next year or so until she finally met the person of her dreams and gave her
advice on that and she moved forward into that and I think happily ever after
if I’m not mistaken and so in the 90s there was a lot of awkwardness there’s a
couple of wonderful souls that I spent with but a lot of awkwardness too clumsy
like moments of people might have thought well he just knows what he’s
doing he teaches about relation sexuality life spirituality that this
he’s just really confidently coming into life and we had relations or whatever
what they didn’t know is that it was new to me in the 90s they it was new to me I
had come out of marriage and then abstained for a while so it was a little
awkward besides a shyness in general and for you know in the first place but it
was a little awkward and so you know probably experienced
things that other people that I spent time with it probably didn’t understand
because they expected me to be different and then it wasn’t until I think maybe
you know the end of the 90s that I I saw other spiritual teachers that I really
respected and I saw how they had what I would call a couple of intimate friends
and so I opened my mind to that and that was very beautiful there was a couple
people that I would say were intimate friends meaning that’s different don’t
confuse that with friends with benefits which I’m not into per se but this is
intimate friendships meaning the friendship comes first and there’s not
just with benefits the benefits are an illusion there’s a lot of love and
respect shared not just convenience you know at least of all with sex it’s not
where it’s at so I’m really grateful for those experiences I don’t know that the
people know how grateful I am because people move on and they do other things
but man that was really really cool for me and then I know it’ll be somewhat
brief from here just out of respect of time for you guys in the 2000 timeframe
I shared a little bit of time where I started looking at from those couple of
intimate friendships towards one in particular and and sort of stayed with
that for a little while a few years I think and then then things relaxed a lot
more and I had a lot of friends you know handful
of friends that became close and we really all just became really close
friends literally just friends but a couple of those seemed to call it
graduate upwards into a deeper friendship so I developed a few you know
intimate friendships and it was really beautiful it was respectful you know one
of the points being that I’ve been married I’ve been single I’ve been you
know abstinent I’ve been intimate with intimate friends so I’ve had a variety
of things that people can experience in terms of relationships and partnerships
and I honestly believe all of them were quite beautiful to have explored I I
can’t say any of them by theme or a problem I would say there’s a couple of
mistakes of decisions here and there for sure just a few in all those years but
they’re still there so yeah by the by the end of the 20s to the 2000s I think
it’s just you know things kind of settle down and started going more in a
direction of okay the friendships it’s kind of hard and strenuous for people to
keep long-distance friendships that I was at because they were all
long-distance so that kind of settled down to where you know it was easier to
have and keep it to a little bit more towards well if I’m going to have
something have it with one person and you know so that’s I kept it a little
more like that through the 2010s but you know by and large everything’s been
beautiful in that respect this may not be the dirt some people are looking for
does he do this you know is he gay or straight or is e polyamorous or
monogamous or whatever and I’ve tried to say to people I I am I’m really 99%
unavailable because of because we don’t need to be I’m in a position where I
teach and teachings my most important thing so if I had to choose between
teaching and partnership or sex or whatever it be teaching first and so
I’ve really only been with people that I believed understood that and so
therefore I thought that they were matching me in terms of maturity and
that’s why I felt it right to deal with them and most of the time I
was right in a couple times you know there were hidden agendas that that end
up being shown but so so be it it’s life but that’s about it
I hope that addressed whatever questions that you might have had or my history in
that area okay

Michael Martin

7 Responses

  1. WOW!!!!– Awesome,,, my Husband and I never dated….34 years we are still legally married, best Friends and having Fun…Love your talks Michael

  2. This talk gave me the idea that nobody ever has it all…some people have money, some have a fulfilling career, some have adventure, or marriage or fame or success , even suffering. A lot of people have gifs or talents but are missing something else… Nobody ever seems to have it all or be complete , it's like everybody gets just a slice of the pizza 🍕 made specifically just for them, but not the whole pizza…🤕

  3. Thank you for being so transparent! It is so good that you are so clear and settled on your calling and what comes first for you! I have been on that path for two decades, single and celibate, and putting my relationship with Christ as top priority (and serving from that place). However, interestingly, over the past 4 years I've had some intense shifts and catalysts that have me traversing in unknown waters. I had to deeply come face to face with the reality that deep within having a Divine Partnership is extremely important to me! It feels like a very distinctive part of my life experience that I have been putting all of my energy into my relationship with Christ, raising my daughter and serving others. Yet, I stand with first and foremost I am married to Eternal Life, and any partnership/marriage I experience must flow from that place. I'm in the process of re-shifting my energy expenditure. As you shared teaching is your primary passion, I've discovered Divine Union is mine and I don't want to resist experiencing that in my life. It's been a very vulnerable and humbling process.

  4. Thank you for being candid and revealing what's comfortable and respectful. Always a pleasure to listen to your teachings.

  5. Thank you Michael for sharing your very personal life experiences.  Much appreciated.  I too was once involved in an "informal wedding ceremony". Ended after 1 year – when I ran away as it was so "deadening".   Now:  No children.  No husband.  No boyfriend.  No extended Earthly family as they all think I'm "Cook coo".  No friends really…..much of a lone Earthly Wolf.  Abstinent since 1999.  Just live with my Spirit Archangel family members.  You and I do mutually connect on a Spiritual and Psychic level.

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