Marriage Counseling : How to Encourage Your Man to Share His Feelings


Hi, I’m Joe Cuenco with Family Resources.
Today we’re talking about our relationship skills. Specifically, how do we encourage
our man to share his feelings? Well just how do we get a man to share his feelings, because
this is really difficult for a lot of guys to do. It really starts with a solid communication
process. It means that you’ve got to have a free flow of information, of dialogue, between
the man and the woman for this to happen. It needs to be full duplex back and forth.
Nothing will be communicated unless both have clear minds and have a full understanding
of what’s taking place, or what’s not taking place. The first thing that you want to eliminate
is the fact that perhaps it’s because of you that he’s not sharing his feelings. So, sit
down and talk. Ask him the question. Why is it that you’re having a hard time sharing
your feelings? Is is something that I’m doing? Because maybe he might feel that you’re actually
not listening. So, you need to eliminate that perspective first. The thing that you can
do is share your feelings. Make sure that he understands how it is with positive communication
and being able to share feelings. So, do by example. If he won’t volunteer, then ask.
Say, let’s start a pattern. Honey, how did you feel about this? Or, this situation, what
could we have done differently? How do you feel about buying a house? How do you feel
about having another child? How do you feel about moving here? Or what do you think about
this situation in my job? Or, what did you feel about the situation in your job? So,
open up and have a dialogue, and explain to him how you feel positively about him sharing
his feelings. And when he does open up, say that it’s a positive experience, and something
that’s very important and key to you. So, if you need to have this dialogue started
with a positive aspect of communication, and then talk about things where there may be
some improvement–or some help could be used. There are workshops that can be attended,
family resources, marriage education workshops and counseling, but it’s important that you
have a solid communication first before you can learn to encourage your man how to share
his feelings. I’m Joe Cuenco with Family Resources, relationships for life.

Michael Martin

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