Kids Out of Wedlock



this is Monroe I'm going to do a video talking about my views regarding women having children out of wedlock women hadn't children outside of a marriage or having children and not being married to the men that they're having these children with this video might offend women who have children out of wedlock so I wouldn't recommend women who have children out of wedlock to listen to this video however if you have children out of wedlock we still want to listen to this video you are welcome to but I wouldn't recommend it this because it might offend someone this video is very appropriate for women who do not have children out of wedlock who are thinking about having children out of wedlock but do not have children out of wedlock and it's also appropriate for women who do not believe in having children out of wedlock who think it's the best to have children inside of a marriage I am 31 years old I don't have any children I never had children when I was a teenager I was interested in having seven children a husband and a big house because I was raised by my mother to be married have sex and have children inside of a marriage so when I was a teenager that's what I was thinking about that was this fantasy of mine to have a big family seven children a husband in a big house when I was in my mid-twenties that's when I wasn't really interested no longer interested in having seven children the way that I used to in my teens and even though I was raised to believe in marriage when I was in my late twenties that was when my fields of merits changed I was thinking America's just a piece of paper why should I get married I was just way to get a boyfriend a steady boyfriend to have sex with him then my views changed when I was when I'm in my 30s I'm in my thirties now early thirties that's when it changed again I no longer believe that marriage is just a piece of paper because I was actually speaking with someone one time about Mary he was talking to me about how when you're married there are certain benefits that you have as a spouse and that made me think of marriage differently it may become consider what he was telling me and then I started thinking about my views regarding what our girlfriend actually is I never thought this way about being a girlfriend before by a girlfriend to me is just in my opinion a steady romantic and casual sex partner of a male you know or a female but I am talking about heterosexual relationships in this video and I didn't always think this way about being a girlfriend I'm not anyone's current girlfriend right now but I just started having this view regarding a girlfriend several months ago it just hit me at one time while I was thinking you do know that a girlfriend really is just a casual sex partner of a male a frequent casual sex partner yes they may be in love yes they have a romantic relationship yes they're committed to each other but they are not married there's a difference between being a married woman and just being someone's girlfriend that's where life is changing once I start I think they love that differently now these children out of wedlock trend I call it a trend because or me I hear women having children often and it gets my attention and I noticed that these women are not married they're having babies with their boyfriends or some of them are having babies with their ex-boyfriends or men that they're casually sleeping with that they're not in a relationship with I do not agree that a woman well it depends on the situation I believe that if a woman is in her 30s not 20s but in her 30s and she wants to be a single mother and have a child out of wedlock then yes I do think it's her right but I think that a married situation would be better but if she doesn't want to get married see there's a difference if she doesn't want to get married but she won't saw the child and she's in her thirties and she knows exactly what she wants and she's grown and she knows what she's doing with her body then you know I would say okay you're the woman you're mature you know this is what you want I will respect that but when it comes to teenagers having children and women in their early twenties having children out of wedlock I don't agree with that because the majority of their time they're not financially stable to begin with number two these pregnancies are accidental and then if they're not accidental they're pointed but they're still not some of them are not like mature enough and financially stable enough to have these children out of wedlock now they can you know to get married and they're still considered immature cuz there are people who get married in their immature they can still be you know immature and unstable and marry I do not agree with that either yes I believe that being married is better to have a child but you still need to make sure that you're financially stable you know then there are situations when a woman is older like in her 40s or even 50s unless said that she can get a pregnant but she doesn't want to get married she's a grown woman I think that if she wants to have a baby out of wedlock then okay fine you she it should be that but at the same time it's like that child needs a father figure thus it is best to be in a married a committed healthy solid marriage still have children what I'm saying is it depends on the situation depends on the mentality and the maturity of the woman and it definitely depends on a financial circumstances because if you if you're getting pregnant but you need to be on government assistance that's no good that me say you're not funny too unstable if you are a man that you're pregnant by whether you are married to him or not y'all still need to be on government assistance or he needs a freakin second job to support that's not good either because that means that he doesn't have a career that was he's financially stable took to help you raise a child you know and I just noticed that there are women who are boyfriends and girlfriends there I'm gonna say that I'm gonna correct myself there are women who are girlfriends or in these casual no-strings-attached committed relationships with these men and they're having babies with them but it's not a solid family when it's just a boyfriend and a girlfriend and a baby involved because it's just two individuals that decided to be committed to each other but it's not the same thing it's not it's not solid the way that a a marriage is and people can you know think all they want to run a believe in marriage it doesn't matter if you don't believe in a marriage or not my marriage is it's different compared to just two people who are individuals and they decided to get into this is so-called serious relationship now I'm not saying that because the boyfriend/girlfriend that they you know have the right to cheat on each other because of the casualness of their relationship I do not agree with that then it's not what I'm saying but what I'm saying is I am comparing it to a marriage that's what this video is about it's about comparing a boyfriend and about for a relationship to a marriage and having a baby inside of a marriage or having a baby out of wedlock I've had many jobs in my past many and I noticed that the jobs that I would have a large number of females in their 20s and early 30s they were having children but he I would find out that they're having children by their boyfriends they were not men to the men that they have these babies by and the society today it seems like it that's what I want to say it seems like it but the way it looks to me it looks like it's a fact that many women who are getting a pregnant and they're in their 20s and early 30s they're getting pregnant by Mary – they're getting pregnant pregnant by their boyfriends a boyfriend the title boyfriend – sounds very childish and an immature I'm sorry a boyfriend it sounds too casual right there and then they decided they're going to try the baby together now even though I disagree with this I understand that you know they're in love with each other and that they want to have a baby and they think they probably think that a baby is going to make this relationship even more special and solid and mean something well if there was something so big as a child why don't they get married and then have a child then they have the man if they want their relationship to be that meaningful in that serious get frickin married and also have a child but no they don't want to do that they don't believe in a marriage they don't want to get married but they want to have a child a child is a bigger responsibility than a marry a child is way more serious than then getting married so why don't they get married and then have children while he's giving the marriage part and having children and then there are couples who they decide to have children they decide not to get married but they decide to live together why are they freaking and living together and having babies but they're not getting married see they're skipping the relate they're skipping the marriage part and they're just going right into okay let's move in together let's shack up together let's have a baby together y'all are doing out there doing all of this stuff so why don't they get married why are they skipping the married part they want all the benefits of a marriage without actually having being married to each other and to me that's just that's foolish it's it is America seems more stable yes people don't force but there are people who do not divorce see that that this thing about all you know well I'm not gonna get married you know I don't believe in marriage marriage is just a piece of paper we can't get a divorce that divorce talk that doesn't mean anything to me anymore because yeah that's a good yes or divorce is a good defense for people who are against a marriage but are they need to do is just be careful who they marry I heard more than once that when a marriage is over it has to do with financial situations well if they don't want to have the divorce and they don't want their marriage to dissolve based on financial circumstances then what they need to do is get into a serious relationship and date and and get engaged too and marry people that are financially stable that have their finances together that manages their money effectively that are mature and wise when it comes to handling money that have healthy and and good investments that have successful businesses then they don't have to worry about you know finances and then if they're still talking about divorce after what I just said and all that is just an excuse to fight the idea of marriage there are situations where a woman will have a baby with a boyfriend and he leaves her because he didn't want the baby and then there are situations where the man will stay and he'll bring her he'll bring her in or she'll bring him in and but it's still it's not the same thing as a marriage is too casual living with your freaking boyfriend is too casual compared to a husband too casual having a baby live having a baby with a live-in a boyfriend it's too casual compared to our marriage a marriage is supposed to be a solid union between two people of the freakin law and when you're married you have spousal benefits you know such as you know health benefits all the other you know benefits that goes with being married now y'all can look up the benefits of being married on Google and see what Auto goes y'all can pull up but when you're a boyfriend and girlfriend there's really no benefits other than casual frequent sex no strings attached no issues because y'all can leave any moment y'all can act like that that relationship never even existed now I'm gonna go back to what I was singing about jobs now I've had many jobs in my past and not again I don't have any children and I'm 31 years old a lot of women that I have experienced like co-workers they were in their turn they had children that I will find out that that they have children you know by their boyfriends and it seemed like that this was a trend that was going on very common and there will be jobs that I had where see I'm working in an office and every woman that's working there has a boyfriend and a child by him and that was the only one that didn't I have a boyfriend that's the only one that I did not have a child and I always felt like I was the oddball because Here I am you know a grown woman over the age of 25 not having children but yet there are women that were younger than you that had boyfriends and children when they're who are older than me and they had children and a boyfriend or when they were where they're around the same age or the same age as me and they had boyfriends with their child and to me like that that's just it's it's common it's very common for women to have children by their boyfriends the way that I look at that I'm against that that's too casual for me I will never have the way that I feel right now the way that I've been feeling for the past for several years see I was never I was never interested in having a child with a boyfriend even when I was thinking okay I'm now going to wait to have sex no I'm not going to get I'm not going to wait until marriage to have sex where I'm going to do is wait until I have a frickin boyfriend to have sex but I never considered or even thought about having a baby with a boyfriend because I knew where I stood when it came to babies number when I don't it's not a priority of mine to have children in my life I don't want to have children my desire to have children is not strong enough to actually have them I've thought about having children sometimes I want children sometimes I don't I've thought about adopting children I've thought about becoming you know a teacher and teaching children because I'm interested in children's education I want children to to learn how to run their own businesses to be investors to make money and I have to be counted on working it for other people and making money for other people I want children to learn about that stuff I'm interested and giving children that information but I'm not interested in taking care of no babies I'm not interested in having a newborn child I don't desire to have to have babies in my life but I have this desire to teach six and seven and eight nine ten eleven twelve year olds things about life and things about Society that's what I'm interested in now if I do get married someday and my husband wants to have a child I'm going to give him a child to make am i given to children that so the child can have a brother or a sister because I don't want the child to be the only child out of the child to have a sibling so they kill it how to share and how to treat each other give them an example of how to treat people in in the world so I am opening to having children but inside of a marriage I'm not interested in being a single mother and if you know there are one who want to be single mothers you know I respect that but it depends on their age if they're teenagers they need to wait but they're in their early twenties they need to wait you know experience life a little bit try to find out who they they are get their finances to get become a little bit more mature so then years down years down the line if if you still want to be a single mother okay then just make sure that you are financially prepared where you're not going to be on government assistance and then when you have children you're struggling financially and that's another thing now I don't know what the percentage is of this but I do know that there are women will have babies and they and they struggle financially and they have to be on government assistance then that meant that means that that they were no no business having children and yes I know it's their business and you know it's not my right to say anything but I am correct I am damn correct when I say that if you are a woman and you're having a child rather it was accidental or planned rather you're mature or not rather you are ready or not but you need to be on government assistance that means that or you need your man needs to be on financial needs to be on child support or the man that's not your man but you know you slept with him moving cigar shops child support all of these situations are bad it shouldn't even be this way if you're going to have it if these women aren't going to have babies by a man they need to be in a stable committed relationship where they're financially stable and there is nothing like a marriage no I've never been married before but it still doesn't matter it's safer and more secure for a baby to be born in a marriage that no but this casual attitude of you know babies being born out of wedlock by boyfriends and girlfriends and moving moving in partners I don't agree with that that's too casual and it just a mistress that those situations are easy for the boyfriends and their girlfriends because they don't want to take the time to you know to have like marriage license and marriage documents and you know like to have the ring and to have the wedding and all the special stuff it's like they don't want to have all that end you know and another thing about this wedlock thing is you know there are boyfriends yes they stay with their with their girlfriends and they have children and they move in with them and they have children with them but you know these men they're not marrying these women they're just in there in the habits they're in the casual moments and then when they do finally decide to marry these women it took them five years seven years ten years why the weight and if it's because you know they were saving up money for a ring okay they're saving up money to get all rain but then at the same time they have a baby that if they're so freakin patient to wait to marry the women to why we're not why were they not patient to have children with these women it's like many people are ready to Russian to move in together and rushing to have children together but not getting married and I moved in a house together as a married couple and then have children inside of a marriage it's like it's almost as if marriage is dying out these days you know our people don't want to get married our people are against it and then yeah there's someone who are against marriage for whatever reason they're setting themselves up if they're not careful because there are the pregnancies that are unplanned now if they're planned and they're financially stable then you know find whatever but I'm still not for this boyfriend and girlfriend having our baby together and this is a family no it's not it's just two people two individuals who decided to actually go in sex together who decided to only see each other and you decide to have a baby together and you know they love each other so much and they might be committed to each other so much or they might have a baby so much and they want to move in together so much they want to be you know and the serious committed I love you I can't live without you I want to be with you always by smoking together must have a baby they're doing all of this shit but yet they're not getting married I thought that a marriage was like a sign that you love this person that you want to spend the rest of your life their lives together so women rather be rather no wouldn't tolerate being girlfriends but they don't tolerate tolerate being like more than that I'm not talking about women who set their foot down and be like I want to be a wife I'm now gonna have a baby with you and I'm not moving in with you until we get married and then have a child I mean like how many women how many women are what is the percentage of women actually doing that these days I don't hear that most a good time I hear about boyfriends and girlfriends moving in together especially the having the babies together apart I hear about that more than I hear about people moving in with me if I have a boyfriend Sunday and he tells me that he wants to have my child I don't know if I'm going to be flattered or what because I'm against the idea of being someone's girlfriend and having a child I want to see something for me I don't want to be and this was when my my news regarding marriage changed I was thinking I do not want to be someone's girlfriend for a long period of time because in my opinion even though a boyfriend and a girlfriend they're committed to each other it's still too casual for me that's not what I want I don't want to be someone's girlfriend for I don't want to be someone's girlfriend for four five years and seven years in ten years I really don't even want to be someone's girlfriend for two years or three years if we're in a relationship and work great for each other we've been together for for two years then depending on our financials our financial circumstances then we should be married because I'm not going to spend over two years of my life with a man that is not right for me so if I am not sure where this relationship is going after two years then I might break up with you or I might stay because you know it's comfortable for me in and stabbed in this habit for me but I don't want to do that now if we're like financially stable and we can and we can get married then I would prefer for us to be married instead of me being someone's long-term girlfriend or or you know being son's fiance oh you know this is my this is my fiancee incident this is my girlfriend I'm gonna being no more as someone's on you know life or someone's fiance them someone's long-term girlfriend because to me all that is all girlfriend is in my opinion is just like if I am I'm a male's girlfriend I'm just his casual frequent romantic and sexual partner that's what I really am that's it yes we're committed yes we're in love but I am his girlfriend I'm not his fiancee I am not his wife I'm not his spouse I am his girlfriend I'm on girl and I am his friend girlfriend I don't wanna be known as somebody's girlfriend I'm not sure it's helped I'm gonna be known as somebody's long-term girlfriend but that is just to me if somebody has different views on it and y'all come at me with it respectfully without putting me down then I will approve your comments in the comment section and we can talk about it but you know I do think that being someone's girlfriend would be something nice would be something would be something sweet and and great but it's not something that I want long-term after a while I want something deeper and stronger and and higher up yes all life is a title of fiancees a title but the meaning is it means more than a girlfriend I rather be so his wife than a girlfriend I rather be somebody's fiancee than a girlfriend and also look I have a boyfriend someday and he's telling me he's telling me you know I want I want you to have a baby I am going to tell him I am not having the frickin baby when you are not even financially stable when I am not even financially stable and even if he is financially stable or I'm financially like if I was financially stable but he wasn't I wouldn't I would not like that either I won't want him to be financially stable because he's a freakin man and he needs to be financially stable if he wants to be the father oh my freaking children you know because I want my if I'm gonna bring children into this world I want them to have a fantastic father I want them to have a father that is a a strong provider and that's a strong protector I want them to have a very masculine hard-working no-nonsense father that's the kind of father that I want my children to have and I want them I want my children to I want him to be an example of my children of what kind of man to be with him what kind of man to put up with what kind of man to marry so if I'm financially stable but he is not that it's not good enough for me and so I would tell him you know if you want me to have your baby to marry me and then I'll have your baby and then if he decides to leave me then that tells me two things one he's not really for me because he didn't stick by me number two I wasn't I didn't really mean we decided to let me go if I meant something to him he would still commit his time and his energy and his emotions to me because he loves me that much and he doesn't want to let me go just because I'm not going to tell his baby unless we get married and if he tells me then you know I want to move in with you I want to spend more time with you let's move in together I'm now going to move in with him either because the way this is the way I see a boyfriend and a girlfriend moving in together to me I just see it as two casual lovers living together and I know they're in a committed relationship but that still doesn't fly with me because there there's no ring there's no documents there's no papers there's no law there's the the relationship is too casual and if he decides that he's going to break up with me because I decided not to live with him then that just means that I was I didn't mean that much to him because he broke up with me he decides he wants to live without me than to live with than to live with me to live with me as his girlfriend but we're not living together when I'm having a child together then I mean is that while I was his girlfriend I didn't really mean that much to him I was thinking in my head that he loved me and that I was the only one for him but then he decided to let me ghosts because he didn't get the things that he wanted that lets me know that all the things I was thinking in my head wasn't reality he's just an illusion something that I was thinking about but there were all lies so I'm not moving in with no boyfriend and I'm not having a baby with a boyfriend I was watching this cheyanne Valentine video and it was about being overly friendly girlfriend you know moving in and someone and giving you no wifely benefits and wifely duties – you know men that are not their husbands and this is why I'm doing this video because I learned a lot of that video and I wanted to talk about where I stand after watching that video you know so if I become someone's girlfriend I'm going to make sure that there are things that I do not do I'm not having his child and it's something that I sincerely do not want I do not want to be I don't want my I don't have a boyfriend but if I did I do not want my boyfriend to be telling his friends and his family my girlfriend the mother of my child that doesn't sit well with me my girlfriend and I are moving in together Saturday hell till I know no you want me to move in with you you're gonna put a freakin you're gonna you're gonna save a lot of money and you're going to pay for a freaking ring and you're gonna get down on your frickin E and you're gonna propose to me if you want me to have your baby you're gonna save a lot of money you're going to purchase all rain you're gonna get down on your knees and you are going you're me and you aren't going to marry me that's what you're going to do you know and and I'm not going to let no no boyfriend use me up financially either because I want a man to to dis to display the initiative I want him to be able to be a provider to be able to yes I might help ya I will help him every now and then but it's not going to be like so much like what I'm saying is I am NOT going to be someone's girlfriend he asked the opportunity to take advantage of me because I'm a very I'm a very sensitive giving person you know and I have a big heart as I was told more than once you know so because I have a big heart and because I'm very sensitive and because I want to help because I I love I love providing and you know because I like helping I like helping I like giving I like doing these things if I'm not careful or if I don't have the knowledge you know I might have a boyfriend at my lovely yes but you know he might think that he can like use me or try to take advantage of me I'm now going to be taken advantage of you know because I have too many resources I have too many things going for myself I got too many things only from him so for a Manitou trying to take advantage over me being someone's girlfriend and moving in and having a baby all of those things are big steps but you're willing to these women are willing to move and give them what they want but she's moving and give them what they love which is having a baby but no but but nothing in return no wedding no ring no no big-ass full-blown committed commitments like I'm I'm not doing that now you know if women you know still want to do it that's their freaking business but I don't I don't agree with it and you know who knows maybe someday I might be a wife and they're not you know or I may like have babies born inside of my marriage but they won't now I know that that sounds harsh but it's the reality there are the ones who decide to move in and with their boyfriends and has and have babies when they know damn I'm gonna want that these are that this is casual see people were not acting like that back in the day and if they were they kept it a secret or they didn't talk about it you know back in the 50s and the 60s nobody was talking about moving in with with their boyfriends and girlfriends having babies with their boyfriends my girlfriends because it was too freakin casual and it was seen as a mortal I hope I'm saying that the immortal immortal or whatever and you know and not decent but now today you have people you have people you know like having babies I don't like having babies and creating baby mamas and baby daddies and having children by meant that they're not married to or having you know children by a woman that they're not married so like only all of these casual services and the subject of sex act you know being treated as just feel really casual like if I ever be someone's girlfriend what I'm going to do is I'm I'm going to get to know because like I said I'm not going to have a long-term boyfriend as of right now do i I want to have a committed relationship you know I wanna have a romantic relationship and if I find a man cuz yeah if I find if I find a man to have a committed relationship with and he's right for me then I'm going to be thinking about marriage down the line because I'm not I'm not I know I know I don't want to a long-term boyfriend so if if I get into a serious relationship with a male because because I'm bi so I like men and women but if I find a man a man that that's working for me and we're in love when we're together and we want to be together then what I'm going to have to do is think okay is he marriage material because I know that yes I'm gonna be with him but yes I don't want him to be my boyfriend for long I want him to be my husband because I do not want to be a long-term girlfriend I'd rather be a wife you're gonna be having sex with me for ten years you're gonna frickin marry me okay I'm not having that No and also I'm going to try to get to know how he handles his finances how he handles stress how he handles anger how how does he treat me when he's angry and when he's upset his relationships with his family his health his mental health because I'm gonna make sure that he's not like mentally insane I need to I need to get to know his character 1 and what he's about and is how he and how he handles things like is is he is he clean this disease play keep his you know his uh his surroundings clean and neat you know or is he like all like dirty and and unorganized because I might be considered on neat freak so I need to be if I'm gonna live with a man I need to be with a man listen you freak I can't live with a person that's not neat like me I just can't do it because I have experiences with that I I lived with my siblings and they're not needs and it's really really annoying having to clean up after them but that's why I'm saying like I want to be with a man that comes up after himself I'm not going after his ass cuz if he's freakin annoying heaven if you want that stuff but maybe true that he wants to get married Sunday too because if he's one of those men that is against marriage I cannot be with him I can't because I need to get when I was when I was when I was younger I wanted to be in a relationship with a man that needed changing because I wanted I wanted on I wanted to be with a man that was lonely and that needed help and that needed saving and I wanted him to be like an older man or whatever and I just I just wanted you know like all that stuff I wanted to be in a situation to like change your man to make your whole but I don't think that that's good so I think that I need to be with a man that already has his shit together I need to be with a man that that believes in marriage and that is considered being married because if a man is not ready for marriage and all not ready for love if a man does not want to get married if he is against marriage if he can said you know being a marry is going to lead to divorce or it's going to lead to financial burden that I can't date or get into a social relationship with a man like that because I can't I can't get into relationship with a man like that and think okay well you know once he you know like these with yeah unless he that's with me I'll make him change his mind no I cannot do it because I may not change his mind so I'm not even going to waste my freakin time so I need to be with a man that believes in marriage and that has led to intentions of getting married someday and I don't mind being with a man that doesn't want you know type children ever because I think that I'll be able to live with you know a husband without us us ever having children but I went right but I would rather be with a man that is considering having children than not having children because at some point I may want to have at least one child at least one do I want a big family I I don't think so I I don't think so maybe three kids you know maybe I don't know it just it just depends on how I feel because I'm a single woman right now and I don't have any children I'm in a different situation if I was in a relationship with a man and I was in love I would probably feel something different but these are my views regarding children being born out of wedlock and being someone's girlfriend and moving in novice casual stuff that people are doing these days

Michael Martin

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