Inviting Kids To Your Wedding… Yay or Nay?


Choosing to have kids at your wedding
or not is a very personal decision, but for whatever reason, friends and family often have a lots
of unsolicited opinions about this. So in this week’s video, I’m sharing some of the things that I
think you should think about as you’re making that very personal decision.
So let’s just dive right in. [inaudible] hello and welcome back to my
YouTube channel hitched Academy. My name is Kimberly Rhodes and I’m
a professional wedding planner. If you are new here, welcome. Make sure to hit that subscribe button
and ring the bell to be notified when new videos are released. Today I am digging into some of the things
that you should be thinking about as you’re making the decision if you’re
going to invite kids to your wedding or not. So for whatever reason, this seems to be a hot
button topic for people. Usually people with kids fall into one
of two camps when it comes to weddings. They either like, yes, that’s amazing.
I’m going to leave my kids with a sitter, we’re going to have a night on the
town. This is going to be awesome. Or people who think, how could you possibly not want my
lovely children at your wedding? I’m actually personally offended
that my kids are not invited. I don’t understand that, but
I don’t have kids. However, just know that regardless of which you
pick either having kids or not having kids at your wedding, there are going to be people who have an
opinion about it so you just have to do what’s right for you and kind of
let the rest fall by the wayside. I think there’s basically three different
options when it comes to thinking about having kids in your wedding.
The first is the more the merrier. If you have kids bring them. It’s a family
friendly event, so that’s one option. Option two could be absolutely
no kids, zilch, nada. I don’t care how well behaved
they are. I don’t care their age. I do not want children
at my wedding. No option. Option three is somewhere in the middle, so this could be hand selecting the guests
who are allowed to bring their kids. Not everyone would be
able to bring their kids, but certain people are
invited with children. So those are the three things to consider
and we’re going to dive into each one of them so you can know kind of the
pros and cons so you can make the best decision for you. The first option is a more
the merrier kind of approach. So this is a great option actually for
your guests because they are not having to make the decision on if they’re going
to attend your wedding or stay at home with their kids. They don’t
have to find childcare, especially if they’re
coming in from out of town. They don’t have to think about leaving
their kid with a babysitter they might not be familiar with or leaving their
kid at home and then traveling for the wedding. So it is very guest centric and guest
friendly if you kind of have more the merrier approach on having
kids at your wedding. However, if you’ve watched my video about how
to reduce your overall wedding costs, you know that the more people
you have in attendance, the more expensive your event
can be. And that includes kids. Kids are part of your guest count
because they will also need food. So I’ll link to that video below in
case you’ve missed it. But overall, having kids at your wedding, it can
increase your overall guest list. So if budget is a concern, that’s
definitely something to keep in mind. Also, the one thing that is predictable
is that kids are not predictable. So if the thought of hearing a baby crying
at your wedding or seeing a group of kids on the dance floor, maybe
at an inappropriate time, if either of those things will
make you upset or drive you crazy, you might want to stay away
from the more the merrier. Plan kids are just by nature
kids and can be unpredictable. A kid could have a meltdown right before
you’re walking down the aisle and if that’s going to drive you crazy, I’d
highly recommend not going with the more, the merrier approach. Truly. If you’re
going to have kids at your wedding, you have to let go of the ability to
control everything they’re going to do because kids are just kids. The other thing to keep in mind when
you’re inviting kids to a wedding is kids have bedtimes. So if your wedding
is going late into the evening, chances are those little toddlers
are not going to make it that long. So just know when you
have kids at your wedding, sometimes your friends or guests with
children will have to cut out a little bit early. So just keep that in mind as well. I think that the more the merrier approach
works really well for people who have lots of nieces or nephews or a lot of
younger cousins that they want to be involved in the wedding as well. I’ve even had clients where it’s their
second marriage and they have children of their own and their friend group
all has children of their own, where inviting kids to the
wedding just kind of makes sense. So there are situations where the more
the merrier is just kind of the easier path to go on. But again,
very much personal preference. Now if the thought of hearing a baby
making any noise at any point on your wedding day is something
that will make you crazy, then you might need to go
with option number two, which is no kids invited to the wedding
at all and adults only reception is completely acceptable. It’s
just a very personal choice. Just know if you go down the path of
not having any kids at the wedding, just be aware that you likely
will get some pushback, particularly with family if there’s
family invited whose children are not invited. You might hear about that, but you can always explain it as a budget
or a space concern or frankly you just are looking forward to
an adult only reception. I think this option of no kids at all
is probably the one that gets the most pushback from people. So you
really need to have a game plan, both be on the same page about how you’re
going to handle pushback from yes and or family and stick to your guns because
truly it is your wedding and you guys have to do what’s best for you. We
have had clients who are having adults, only receptions, but they’ve taken
care of the kids in some other way. So a separate room with babysitters, even a room at a nearby hotel
with babysitters so that guests, especially out of town guests don’t feel
like they can’t come in town for the wedding because of their kids, but their kids are taken care of and have
some kind of activity or something to do. So that’s also an option as well if
you’re looking for no kids to be seen on your wedding day, but still want your adult guests to be
able to come regardless of the fact if they have kids or not. The third option when it comes to
inviting kids to your wedding or not is somewhere in the middle
of option one or two. And that is to predetermine which
children are invited to the wedding. That means not everyone with
a child can bring their child, but there are some guests who
will be permitted, if you will, to invite their kids. So my recommendation is to have some hard
and fast rules that you follow when it comes to this. So that a, you know, who’s invited with children
or not and why, but B, it makes it easier for you to
explain it to guests if anyone asks. So for example, it could be an age cutoff. You could say no one under the
age of 10 is being invited, but if you’re 10 or older,
then you’ve made the cut. It could be that your cutoff has
to do with who the children are. So let’s say children of
your cousins are invited, but second cousins aren’t not. It
could be just wedding party children. So if your bridesmaids
or groomsmen have kids, those kids are invited or
if they’re in the wedding, if they’re a ring bearer or
flower girl, they’re invited. But they’re the only children
invited to the reception. Having some hard and fast rules really
makes it a lot easier to explain to anyone who might ask. So a family
member could wonder about their kids. And your answer could be, we actually are only inviting kids over
the age of blank or we only invited kids that are part of the wedding.
So flower girl, ring bears. Those are the only children invited
or we’re only inviting children of our immediate family, so nieces
and nephews, and that’s it. Having just some rules and parameters
really will make it easier if anyone asks. So it doesn’t seem like you picked that
kid cause they’re cute and well-behaved and that kid’s a terror
so they’re not invited. It’s a lot easier if you just have
some blanket rules and then there’s no questions about it. If you do
decide to have kids at your wedding, I do have some tips to make
it go as smoothly as possible. So make sure you hit that subscribe
button and ring the bell to be notified so you know when that video is coming out. Thanks so much again for being here and
supporting the hitched Academy channel. If you liked this video,
give it a thumbs up. Let me know in the comments
what you’re thinking, kids or no kids at your
reception, let me know.

Michael Martin

8 Responses

  1. Great video, I just subscribed to your channel. I am not in a situation where I need to make that decision. But I do believe I would invite the kids – I had to make a choice.

  2. I was initially against having kids at my wedding. But, my mom convinced me to have my cousin's kids there. They are older and have been to weddings before. We even decided to have a kids craft table at the reception to keep them busy.

  3. Just planned and had my daughter's wedding and with the expense, no kids except family if you're paying per head. Thanks for this subject.

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