– (dude) My favorite part
was when the attractive drunk people yelled at each other. – (Ian) SHUT UP!!! – (on TV) Next up on Married at First Sight, we see if Carl and Jenny can fall in love after only meeting for 42 seconds in the middle of a hailstorm. – (sighs) These people are so inspiring. The way they just throw
caution into the wind and follow their passions, it’s so brave. – Are you kidding me? No one would actually get
married that quickly in real life. They have to heighten everything so people will actually watch this garbage. Can you imagine how boring it would be if reality TV was actually realistic? ♪ (chipper music) ♪ (silence) – So you wanna get some coffee? – Sure. (silence) ♪ (chipper music) ♪ – I have a real medical problem
and I need help! Stop trying to profit off my disability!!! – Uh, yeah, can you say that last line
a little louder next time? We couldn’t hear you behind
your disgusting pile of garbage. Thaaaaanks. ♪ (chipper music) ♪ – Do you know what day it is? – One of our annivers–? Birth…days? – Which one? – The pretty one. – (giggling) – (all) Thanks, babe! – Wait! Which one of us is the pretty one? – (gasps) – Sorry, I gotta get
to another marriage. Bye! ♪ (chipper music) ♪ – You’re a catfish?! But online you said you were a salmon! YOU LIAR!!! (splash) ♪ (chipper music) ♪ – (all) ♪ Now watch me wife ♪ ♪ Now watch me no-no ♪ ♪ (chipper music) ♪ ♪ (muzak) ♪ ♪ (dramatic chord) ♪ ♪ (chipper music) ♪ (texting) (phone bloops) (texting) (phone bloops) (texting) – Okay, people. The token black gay guy called the token
white party girl a bitch. Go! – No, I didn’t. (texting) – F*ck you guys. ♪ (chipper music) ♪ – Downsizing was such a great idea. We’re saving $2,000 a month. – Yeah, it’s just so cozy. Hey, Jack, can you hand me
the toilet paper, please? – Sure thing, sweetheart.
– Thank you. (thump)
– Ow! – Watch out.
– I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! ♪ (chipper music) ♪ Hey, Gwen– I was thinking, what if we made a new rule
where the judges have to divorce their respective spouses, and then secretly start dating each other, and then not-so-secretly become a couple? – Absolutely. – All right! – Pharrell, Maroon 5 guy? What about you?
– I’m down. – Mother f*cker! – We’re gonna make the cutest babies.
– (scoffs) – They’re gonna have my tattoos and his hat. ♪ (chipper music) ♪ – Hey, uh, sweetie… what do you say we make another one– – NO! Do you have any fricking idea
how my vagina looks after 19 kids?! ♪ (horror music) ♪ – WAAAAAH!!!! – WAAAAAHHHHHH!!! – Yeah, I guess you’re right. If reality television were real,
it would be less than ideal. – I am very happy that all of the examples that we’ve just viewed on the television have conveniently illustrated
the point that I’m talking about and have changed
your thoughts on the subject of reality television, Ian Hecox. What are you doing? – (to himself) Follow your passions, Ian. Or you’ll forever be alone. Be. Brave. Hi! My name’s Ian. I know we just met
and I have no idea who you are, but I saw a show
where strangers get married and even though I don’t know
anything about you, or if we’re even
compatible besides this bit. Well, dah! Hell. Will you marry me? ♪ (touching music) ♪ (both scream) (shrieking in pain) – OH GOD!!! OH! LOVE SUCKS!!!! – (Anthony) Hey, guys,
thanks so much for subscribing. Click the video on the left
to watch bloopers and this: – It happens to the best of us! (laughter) – (Anthony) And click the video on the right to watch the newest
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