How to Cultivate a Healthy Relationship With Your Salary [The Stress Less Show – Episode 31]

Do you know you’re worth more
than you’re being paid but
don’t know what to do about it? You’ll find out on
this episode of The Stress Less Show exactly what to do
about it. I’m Carlee Meyers, a stress
management expert , and one thing I hear day in
and day out is that we feel
like we’ve tried everything when it comes
to stress management. We may have tried the
mainstream approaches to
managing stress, but have we really tried to
get to the root of the issue? Each episode, I
bring on experts and leaders to not just put a
Band-Aid on your stress but to actually get to the root. This month, we’re really focusing on
job security – specifically , money, salary, and
opportunities – and so I
brought on an amazing guest expert to really bring home and give
us some guidance here. So Erin Owan is the creator of
the Executive Career Reinvention
methodology. She has been an executive coach
author and speaker since 2004. Erin has worked with hundreds
of clients for more than
… for more than 15 countries around
the world and lives with her husband and two sons in
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Throughout her years coaching,
Erin has always taken an
interesting approach to integrating
Eastern approaches and practices into her work and
the same approach applies how she views money. Erin, thank you so much for coming on
the show.
Absolutely. Thanks for having me. Absolutely. So I’m curious. How did you get into this line
of work? Yeah so I was working
previously as a corporate consultant and with a lot of
consulting jobs you know that work was
paid really well and had huge upside in terms of
opportunities for advancement , but the truth is it was
really draining my energy and killing my soul. So I knew that I had to
re-evaluate where money fit in my list of
priorities and also consider other ways
in which I was getting fed or paid by my work
experiences. And so tell me what. What kind of. What changed for you your
relationship with money or
relationship with advancement, salary,
opportunities like what
shifted to get you in a place where
you’re able to consult and
coach and and do, be the expert in this
kind of field?
Absolutely. I mean I’ve always been
fascinated by things from the
east and what I learned the idea that
everything is energy – including money – it really
changed my mindset. So I have to say like the
number one tip I can give to
your listeners is if you want to reduce
stress around money and really kind of bend and
manipulate money to work for you, then you’ll
have to change your thinking. It’s not about dollars and
cents and whether you have enough, that it’s really
an energetic exchange. So think about money as energy. It reminds me of sometimes I’ll
have some of my clients they they
hold some serious resentment around money and we write a
letter to it. Really trying to shift the energy
because if they view it as negative or evil, they’re
going to push it away versus if they view it as supportive
and there for them then
they’re going to attract it. So that’s kind of what it
reminds me of. Absolutely absolutely. I find that when clients give
really positive attention to money, it’s
almost like that money changes from
being like a misbehaving toddler to
their best friend right? If you give something
positive consistent attention, it’s going to want to hang out
with you and treat you well. It’s going to give back
in a positive way. Yeah absolutely. And it’s what’s interesting is
I’m… It’s also reminding me of the
book – I forget who the author is
– it’s “The Secrets of the
Millionaire Mind.” And it’s that same… exactly what you’re talking
about. It’s how.
How. Almost like how the wealthy
think they think. They they support and love and
nurture money as energy. And so it really flows.
Great. I didn’t know about that book
but now it’s good to be
affirmed by an official author. Yes exactly. So what else do you recommend
for… For people who are maybe afraid of
looking at their numbers or have a
weird relationship with with
money? Yeah absolutely. For my clients who are afraid
of doing just that, looking at their numbers, like their
experience has been that money is really elusive and it’s
scary and it’s a big mystery. But when they dig into their
expenses and their income sources and they
give it that positive
attention they really spend time in
their budget, their fear dissipates and then they see
there are new possibilities. Including for one of my
business owner clients, I had her do this and work through
her fear and she actually ended up reducing her
expenses, increasing the revenue in her business,
and being able to sell it for
more. And for her that was life changing
because selling her business was the key
moment at which she was able to transform her life and
reinvent her career. So that simple step of changing
how you view money as being about
energy and giving it positive attention can have
a ripple effect that has an amazing bottom
line in your life and your
career. Wow. So I can’t even imagine if she
had been avoiding her money, then she would have
never had the opportunity to even realize that her
expenses were off.
She would… and then therefore never
been able to make those
changes to sell her business and do..
. Wow that is… That
is an amazing story. What about clients who are
working in a more corporate job who are
looking to attract more money what, do
you have a story for a client
and a circumstance like that?
Yeah absolutely. I find I hear a lot from clients in corporate America
that they wish that they could leave
their job, but they make too much money which
is kind of interesting because you’re like how does
that work? But they feel just as constrained by what I call the golden
handcuffs as people who maybe don’t have
as much money and they have a tight
budget. So the key is to shift the
mindset first and really
breathe into the possibilities of
money and look at different ways in which you
both receive energy from your career and
work experience and are able to give back and
contribute. So for example for one of my
clients who felt really stuck in his career because of the
money thing. When we had him step back and
evaluate how he wanted to have meaning what
kind of impact he wanted to make in his career, he
started to relax the physical tension in his
body and, as a result, opened up more
creative thinking about how he could make change
in his career. And also, he noticed the
choices he was making right. We make choices that support
our current relationship with
money. So once he shifted his
thinking, he was able to
realize he didn’t have to have a
second house. He didn’t have to have that
cottage in the Poconos. He could make some different
choices that would free up his ability to advance in his
career and maybe not be so caught up in the golden
handcuffs. So it’s almost thinking about a
lot of the work that you’re doing as when you’re helping
folks reinvent their career and thinking
about their relationship with
money is also thinking. Well what is the lifestyle that
I want to live… So
that… Like do I really want those
things? And probably not because I would
be happy with X Y and Z. Is that fair?
Absolutely. And one of the concepts I share
is my clients is you know, there’s a micro economy
that exists at every income
level. Just as for a business, there’s
a micro economy that exists at every every
revenue level for a business right. If you want a website designer
for your business, you can find the two hundred
dollar person or the two
hundred thousand dollar person
. The same thing goes for when you’re
in your life making choices about housing,
clothing, food, transportation.
Right. If you step out of your box
that you’ve built and that you’re living in, you can
suddenly see more
possibilities that are going to give you
that flexibility and freedom
with money. And it is I think it absolutely
is that when you relax your body, you
kind of open your perspective and you’re
able to see outside of your box and even explore
your own box like knowing whether to reduce
your expenses or. You know that’s that’s
absolutely interesting. So how would you what would you
recommend in terms of the relationship with money between people like between
other people how do you shift? Like is it… is it still a mindset shift when
you’re relating to other
people with a money exchange?
Yeah. You especially if you are
somebody who likes to give
back philanthropically. You can give time, you can give
expertise , you can also give money. So think about in
relationships, how do you
exchange money ? How do you exchange energy
and what might serve both of
you best? That’s it.
Absolutely. It’s all about the… The
higher good. Yeah it sounds like really the
shift that needs to be
happening is not necessarily… Yes we need to look at our
numbers, yes we need to do
this, but first there’s something first that
we need to do and a lot of us
are neglecting that
first step. Wow. Wow
. Yeah, thanks for having me on
, Carlee, it’s been great to
talk to you about this. Absolutely. Thank you so much for coming on
the show. Now if you are a mid or senior
level leader who wants more meaning
at work, The Executive Career Reinvention Program may
be just what you’re looking for. Erin and her team of coaches
work with leaders to redefine what you want to be at the
next stage of your career. So if this is of interest to
you, you can learn more by visiting Erin Owen dot com. And if you qualify, you can
even apply for a free call
with Erin on her Web site by accessing
The Start Your Reinvention Application page
and we will share all of the information to that in the links below in
the show notes. And by the way, once you submit
your application, it doesn’t go into the ether
to disappear. All of the applications are
reviewed within twenty four
hours within the next business day. So… Her and her team will absolutely be in
touch. So this concludes this episode
of The Stress Less Show. We’re really excited to have
had such a great guest Erin. Thank you so much for being on
the show. Thank you, Carlee, what a great
topic. Happy to talk about it.
Absolutely. And we will see everyone next
week on the next episode of The Stress Less

Michael Martin

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