Hey Steve: Waiting for His Financial Stability || STEVE HARVEY

– So I’ve been dating my friend for the past six years–
– Okay. – on and off, more consistently
the last couple of years. I call him my friend because
he’s uncomfortable with titles. He says he wants to be
more financially stable before he settles down with me. So I’m at a point where
I’m kinda tired of waitin’. I wonder, should I be waitin’ for him to settle down, be financially stable,
or should I walk away? – Could I ask you a question?
– Sure. – How old is he? – 37.
– 37. – Mm-hmm. – For you, is it worth hanging onto? – I just hate to start all
over, build another six years. But I’m at a point–
– Yeah see. – where I am unhappy.
– No I understand. And that’s an important statement
that a lotta women make. You don’t want to start over. You’ve invested six years, and you want it to count for somethin’. But he has to want it to
count for somethin’ too. So the question becomes–
(audience applauds) Here’s the question, what it becomes. It’s that simple. Do you want six more years of this? So the only way to stop the six years of what’s been happenin’
to continue to happen is you have to just make an ultimatum. And what a lotta people are afraid to do is make the ultimatum
because they don’t wanna, the fear that the guy could walk away. He ain’t what you want him to be nohow. You want him to be there, but he ain’t there.
(audience applauds) Let me just tell you this quickly. When I flunked outta school, I came back to live when
my parents for six months. And so, every time I got
paid, I get tellin’ my momma. I said, “Momma I’m gonna get a new car.” She said, “I know baby. “But your old car is outside
in the driveway up on blocks.” My old car was sittin’ up on
cylinder blocks in the yard. Cups was under it. Leaves was under it. Every pay day, I’d come in the house. I said, “Momma I’m workin’. “I’m gonna get me a new car.” She said, “I know baby. “But your old car in the
driveway up on blocks.” This went on for about five, six weeks. Finally you know, I always know my momma always try to teach me somethin’. So I walked in the
house one time and said, “Momma I’m tellin’ you. “Have faith in me. “I’m gonna get myself another car.” She said, “I know baby. “But your old car outside
up on the blocks.” I said, “Momma what do my old car “up on the blocks got to do with me “gettin’ a new car?” She said, “Because you ain’t
prepared to get the new car.” She says, “See Steve,
as long as your old car “on to the block, where you
gonna put this new car?” And so I said, “Okay.” So I called my partner
up, paid him 15 dollars. He came, towed my car away. This was a long time ago.
(audience laughs) You can’t tow no car for 15 no more. So he came; he towed my car away. I moved the bricks. I swept up all of ’em under the car. I cleaned up all that paper. Got me some concrete cleaner. Put it down. Got them oil stains up. Boom cleared out the driveway. Two weeks later, I didn’t get a new car, but I got a used car. And I pulled it up in the driveway. I said, “Momma I got the car.” She said, “I know ’cause you cleared out “that ol’ raggedy car
that was up on blocks.” (audience applauds) So I said, “Momma so what
was you tryin’ to say to me?” She said, “Son if you gonna
ask God for somethin’, “you gotta make ready to receive it. “But if you don’t ever
make ready to receive it, “where you gonna park your new car?” And that’s what happened to
a lotta women with these men. You got these old dudes,
sittin’ in your driveway, up on blocks.
(audience laughs) Now you can’t get the new man in there ’cause you got this old man, sittin’ up in your driveway on blocks. You don’t want him. He don’t work. He don’t care you know where. He ain’t worth a damn. You oughta get his butt
towed out for 15 dollars. (audience cheers and applauds) – All right thank you. (chuckles) – We’ll be right back.
(upbeat band music)

Michael Martin

100 Responses

  1. I don't know if he actually love her truly but at 37 i think you should be mature enough to have a relationship where you both can help each other be stable in life not like this

  2. Six years and you still got 'friend' as a title? These women will believe anything I swear. Hope she finds a good one.

  3. I can relate to this message in so many ways so i always return to hear it again. Steve Harvey's a genius at delivering‼

  4. It's pathetic that she couldn't figure this out herself.

    I wish her well, but she needs God's grace to keep a man that's worth keeping if she had judgement poor enough to keep her current loser "friend."

  5. Wow I just don’t understand how all these women settle for years of pointless dating without any commitment, it’s so sad

  6. My problem with this is that no one said that he was unemployed, only that he didn't feel he was financially secure. It's possible that his not being about titles relates to that. But since Steve never inquired further and made an assumptions and ran with it, most of the commenters sis too. Bottom line: if she's unhappy, she should leave, but the picture that she paints may not be as clear as it appears

  7. Again…she needed steve to tell her that? Lol these women are always asking steve some of the most OBVIOUS stuff. Lol

  8. 6 years I'm out after 6 months if u telling me u not into titles an u don't wanna settle until u financially stable at the age of 37 I'm out ASAP I don't have time to waste.. I'm so sick of men wanting " that friend" on a wife level an not willing and able to commit, I have been there a few times in my life so I know how she feels, I decided 4 months ago now I'm just gonna chill an let him come to me maybe one-day he will idk..

  9. WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING TO DO WITHOUT THE STEVE HARVEY SHOW??????   His wisdom, grace, humor, and straightforwardness is so needed when it comes to considering the cost of having a REAL, PURPOSEFUL relationship with someone.

  10. Oh he got her good
    "Call me friend, I'm uncomfortable with titles. Let's just say we're best friends" misssss me

  11. If I was a man, and a girl is giving me her 'cookie' for free; WHY should I 'wife' her up? Girls learn to keeps your legs crossed UNTIL the wedding NIGHT!

  12. I have been married to the same women for 30 years , and after a year of dating knew she was the one for me and we could not wait to get married and start a life together, we were young , not financially stable and there were a lot of other valid reasons for us to wait, but we were in love and hated being apart, Men I know that have lived with their girlfriends for years and years,but never marry, when we go out doing guy stuff, they are always hitting on other women, I think the reason they wont marry their girlfriend is they are still looking for something better.
    and would dump their current girlfriend to upgrade.

  13. Steve's stories are golden teaching for all people no matter the financial life but he always love to give from his own life experience for us to learn. He is 62 I think a man with that history must something to say for the young to learn. God bless Steve and his family forever. Great example.

  14. After 6 years and he isn’t even comfortable with the title “boyfriend,” and requires that you call him a “friend” Aaaand he’s almost 40 years old…girlfriend, don’t walk away, RUN AWAY! He doesn’t want anything serious with you. Men are go-getters and they know what they want. When they want you, he will know, the whole world will know and you will know. Men make plans and make things happen. A man who’s tagging you along and not really offering much for you to be permanently in his life, is just wasting your time while he lives his life looking for who he would consider to be “the right one,” but it ain’t you.

  15. She's so pretty. She needs to move on. In our church we had a couple who dated for years n the guy wouldn't commit. Until the lady told him either he marries her or she'd walk away. The guy said he wasn't ready so she broke up with him. Within months there came this fine well polished guy and she told him why she'd broken up with the previous guy. She told him she wasn't gonna entertain another time waster. He married her after dating her for 1 year. Some guys are great tume wasters.

  16. I'm not judging him without hearing his side story like many does I appreciate this video for the lesson ur mom taught.. Appreciated

  17. Someone said “ don’t be afraid to start over. You don’t start over, you start from experience.” Get it together, dude is 37, he’s as ready as he ever will and too old for a “friend” relational for 6 years dude.

  18. Oh heelllllll no she’s a whole PICK ME ! Gurl if they don’t give you a title after a year LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE!! Are you crazy?! After two years if I don’t have a ring I’m telling him to kick rocks!

  19. Wait.. she been with this guy fo 6 years, and the whole time she stuck with him only as a "friend"? Wtf is wrong with her?

  20. I hope I will be able to teach my kids the way steve’s mom did. She definetely knows how the univers work!

  21. I had a female workmate who did this. Waited 5 years for a guy, who also beat her up a few times, and too. I advised her to leave him one gloomy wintry grey Melbourne Monday morning, in the Ladies toilet at work, as I helped her apply heavy make up to disguise her black eye he had given her. "I am not going to throw away 5 years of waiting now that we are so close to marrying. He gave me this ring and his mum said I need to take the good with the bad in marriage and that her son really does love me because he told her he did and, and deep down, I he is a good boy… " It was a classic familiar story of the battered woman who refuses to leave a bad situation because she likes other things about it, but typically material comforts etc. I believe she did get to marry him, but in a big elaborate wedding and the beatings, she which even happened on their first official night together just got more frequent and worse over time. But she was not going to throw it all away and start afresh with a better man, but who would treat her right. Crazy female thinking, she is really… I had to give up trying to help her. She was driving me nuts, and seeking my Bel and support, and advise etc and then just continuing with the same unacceptable state of affairs. I figured she enjoyed it. So why ruin her idea of a happy marriage?

  22. I have spent three years now with this guy in a similar relationship, I know I have to leave but don’t have the courage to, by the end of the year am just gonna ask him straight “will you marry me or not?” So I start a new year with a breath of fresh air

  23. This girl is beautiful and seems sweet. She needs to value herself more. I figure she wasted 5 years with this guy. I Read the book "He's just not that into you" great, fun, easy, real read – was an eye opener for me – i recommend it(not the movie, that was crap). Listen to Steve…he's right

  24. Bro this man taking to long I’d try hooking her up with a 21 year old ultimatum now is you put a ring on it or I dump you for some hot 21 year old

  25. My husband proposed to me after 2 months of dating and being friends before that. We're doing great 4 years later. When you know what you want, need, and deserve it works out! 👍

  26. I'm pretty sure I don't have platonic mistakable friendships nor romantics. But shortly after that desired first SUSTAINABLE LIFESTYLE hire is when I plan to make serious BOLD moves, for a reciprocal Serious and mature person, because I am too traumatized to be be talked down to about ambition once more from someone I trusted my heart with.

  27. I'm all about serial monogamy and all, but six years is too long to not get married. If money is the issue, then do a small wedding. She should make the ultimatum, or risk wasting her life away.

  28. The facts are not all before the jury and sisters are already slicing the brother. What if he's an attorney he's waiting for seven years to make it as SENIOR PATNER in the Law firm and earn 6/7 digits a month. The facts are not all there.From SOUTH AFRICA

  29. Can someone ans me pls

    Been into a relationship for almost 7 years, broke up due to no sign of marriage.
    Renuited after 1 year again.
    Boy still give many excuses ( financial stability is one of them).
    Boy's age- 27

    Any suggestions!

  30. I am a man.and as a man I can say ; 37 and not financially stable;; WTF!!! HE IS A LOSER or HE THINKS OF HER, AS HIS SIDE CHICK!!

  31. Men if you date a older woman who is in her 30’s and she isn’t financially stable, as you or more don’t get with her. Run 🏃

  32. Bit harsh saying the Guy's not worth a damn simply because the gears of his schedule don't mesh with the gears of hers.

  33. That not starting over mentality is toxic. Starting over as opposed to what? Being strung a long with him 6, 10, 20 years down the line? Its been 6 years, this man pushing 40 without any stability and hasn't even had the decency to call you a girlfriend at least because he "DoeSn't LiKe TiTLes". Shes been convincing herself to wait for absolutely nothing. Take those 6 years as a lesson learned and peace out. The things people will tolerate man…

  34. She doesn't need to make an ultimatum,she needs to make a decision. Don't make him responsible for your happiness. Leave without needing him to be responsible for ending the relationship.

  35. High value man have requirements women waroed by feminism can't stand or cant comprehend that steve harvey has been lying to black women for 10 years

  36. Damn i need her. My ex left after a yr. And 6 months of that i was dealing with a lot of things that kept holding me back. I plan to prove her wrong about absolutely everything by this Summer.

  37. That’s a good one: “if you’re gonna ask god for something, you have to make ready to receive it.” Just added that to my mirror: https://contemplativemirrors.com/

    I’m always collecting good quotes.

  38. It's crazy because all you hear is the woman's perspective but there is a counter perspective that no one talks about. No one wants to hear that reality.

  39. "Financially stable" means different things to different people. He may have or have had a job or income that he was content with as a single man. But after getting with her and realizing what her "standards" are he may have realized he's not "financially stable" enough FOR HER. So he may be in the process of establishing a new career because of the lifestyle SHE WANTS.

  40. Steve DON'T KNOW that Man's FINANCIAL SITUATION. STEVE said," MEN have a FINANCIAL CLOCK, WOMEN a BIOLOGICAL CLOCK"(True). Maybe HE is SAVING UP $$$$ ! BABY, just talk to Him.

  41. Look how many years later a mothers advise still benefits her child. Mothers are rare pearls whom only stay with us for a limited period of time. Let us all serve them beautifully before saying goodbye forever.

  42. Define "Financial Stability". I think he's just stringing you on. If he truly loved you $ would not be an issue unless you are asking him for things he can't afford. You are asking the question I bet you know the answer.

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