Have Onision Rate You 1-10

So, I’m at ‘onision.xyz’ and I was going to do my normal routine where I go to pictures for videos. I organize the topics by most of you, and now we’re going to cover exactly what you guys demand. How Onision rates you 1 to 10: It’s what you want, and so I will deliver. You may be thinking to yourself, “Oh no, Onision’s about to say something negative.” But, don’t worry. She says: “Be harsh as per usual, good sir.” First off, I will say that you look like my ex-wife. Secondly, I’d rate you a 5 out of 10. (Laughing) If my ex-wife is mad at that, well, she should have thought about that before she lied on our divorce papers. And, pushed me into a corner where I find myself paying alimony for six years of my life, despite the fact that out marriage didn’t even last that long. Meanwhile, this girl is like a… 8 out of 10? Yes, solid 8. “But Greg, what if she’s 15-years old?” Uh, well, last time I checked we’re allowded to have opinions about people, it’s not a perverted thing, it’s honesty. Okay. This chick became more attractive because of what she said right above her image: “Either way I’m not as attractive as Jensen Ackles, so what’s the point?” I completely agree, but we’ll rate you anyway, and your rating is… Uh… 7! The Jensen Ackles thing is just awesome. I’ve learned over time that it’s very critical that I actually tilt my head when they upload sideways photos, because people can look totally diffrent. Interesting… I’m going to go ahead and say that you are a 7.9 out of 10. Pretty good. Dig this chick’s sense of humor, the vertical dead face. But, despite making that face, she’s very clearly at least an 8 out of 10, and that works out ’cause she thinks she’s an 8.5. Sounds about right. This girl’s cute, the boys her age are no doubt very lucky… Or girls… Or non-binary people… You know what? Whatever. Although she does look totally diffrent here. Check ’em out side-by-side. Isn’t that weird? This girl looks pretty angelic. Like, a 9 out of 10 as far as human being go. She says she was really scared of it and she really hates her nose. I literally didn’t notice your nose, I’m glad I looked at your picture first. But your nose is fine. This person says “I’m 14 and 5’5,” but I don’t know why that was important. And, here they are. When you have braces; probably not a full-tooth grin that’s not necessarily great. Maybe, also, work on your lighting. You’re kind-of over exposed. This person’s like a… 6 or- whatever out of 10. Now look at this I look at this girl and I think, “So when is your next anti-Onision video coming out?” Even though you never actually made an anti-Onision video, shame on you. Well, that’s one way to write Onison on you… You have a very big face. It’s very- ‘face-a-licious.’ I’ll say: a 6 out of 10. We got another 6 out of 10. This person freaks me out. Another full-toothed grin braces, mouth. Ugh, you guys just should not do that. This woman looks stressed. Stress isn’t really attractive, so I’ll give her like a 6.8 Meanwhile, this woman says she’s 28 and she recently turned vegan. Lost lots of weight, who would have never thought about veganism ’till I brought it up. So, I guess, my body image videos helped her. And, now she looks like this. As far as body goes, you look like a 9. And your face looks like an 8.8 or something. Congratulations, vegan! “I know I ain’t that cute, posting this is probably a mistake but, why not?” And then they proceed to post this picture where they’re like a 8.4.. 3… 2… 8.2 out of 10. Hopefully you don’t still feel like this was a mistake. This person covered up their mouth. So – you know – how am I supposed to accurately rate their face? For that error, I will rate you what you said you were, which is a 6. “Submitting so much just to never get in the video is getting old.” You know what? I’m going to put you in a video, fine. There you are. You literally look like the 10-year old version of my ex-wife. Maybe, that’s why I never put you in a video. You ever think about that? Moving on… “When you’re 20+, but look 12.” And, here she looking maybe… 17.. 18? Whatever, you’re clearly an attractive person, so I’ll give you an 8.9. Bravo! So, I’m not going to say your rating but, I will say if you work on those eyebrows, maybe slim ’em up a bit, you’ll improve. That’s what you call a helpful tip from Onion-boy. Meanwhile, I dig the wig… Or what looks like a wig. And, you have an awesome chin. So you get like… I don’t know, an 8.8 out of 10. If you want to se any one of my other very positive videos, go and check out this one. And I know what you might be thinking, “It’s not positive, Greg, you’re being a dick.” Well, guess what? The harsh truth is always nicer than a friendly lie. It may be pretty, it may sound good, but it’s fucking evil, okay? Tell the truth.

Michael Martin

100 Responses

  1. Why is there a 30 year old rating a bunch of 13 year olds? Why not rate other 30 year olds? Pick on someone your own size!

  2. Girls who have braces shouldn’t be ashamed to show off a toothy grin. I think it’s cute, unless they have something stuck in their teeth, but then again I can’t blame them, having braces is difficult.

  3. I think that one of those girls is my ex and one of my best friends under aged and this is creepy. The black plugs came in a taper/plug set we got when we started stretching our ears.

  4. I am every SJW who hates Onision so much. Fuck you Onision you are ugly because I don't like YOU! don't ask me point out a flaw in your prett- I mean ugly face because I CAN'T- I MEAN! SHUT UP!!! you're a creep and a real sick piece of shit for rating pretty girls who ask to be rated by you!!! why aren't those girls asking ME to rate them INSTEAD??? WHAT DO THEY SEE IN YOU?!?! why do women want Onision and not me?!?! you should also not call anyone ugly Onision because that hurts me and triggers me SO FUCKING MUCH!!!! ALL THOSE GIRLS ARE 10'S!!! BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER YOU RUDE SICK BULLYING BIGOT!!!! NO ONE IS BETTER LOOKING THAN ANYONE!!! EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL!!!! EVERYONE DESERVES A PARTICIPATION TROPHY FOR LIVING!!!!! WAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! WHERE'S MY SAFE SPACE AND WHERE'S MY CRIB AND RATTLE?!?!?! WAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! ONISION IS OFFENDING ME SO MUCH!!!!! (SULK!) (SOB!) (SNIFF!) I WANT TO KILL ONISION AND CALL HIM A PEDO FOR GETTING HOTTER GIRLS THAN ME!!!!! PRETTY GIRLS ALL CALL ME UGLY AND ONLY FAT UGLY CHICKS WANT ME!!!!!!!


  6. You are fucking disgusting human being,Totally not a pedo rating fans. “It’s just honesty”

    Being honest and being a creep isn’t mutually exclusive Greg.If I say,”Man,I really want to kick a child in the face” is that okay?because I’m being honest? 😐

  7. I can't believe I used to follow him and take his word as fact. He delivers content like this to the young and impressionable segment of his audience. This only makes them believe in some of the unrealistic standards for women. It's only natural that younger viewers seek validation from their idols but he takes it to an all new level of shitty

  8. Aren’t you married? All this time and energy you put toward these girls (hopefully women) you should put toward Your wife Lainey…

  9. Dude you are a fucking homo. A fucking fairy. I'll rate you a 1.2 with all that eyeliner on you fucking douchebag. Smoke weed EVERYDAY!

  10. Hey I’m just here to ask you to please stop these videos, I am not trying to be rude in any type of way, I just think that these videos can make people feel bad about themselves and I understand that they ask for your opinion but I just feel that these videos may make some people feel bad about themselves, and keep in mind some of those people you rate are probably going through some tough stuff and when they see,
    I am once again not trying to come off rude in anyway I am just staying my personal opinion. Have a nice day.

  11. All opinions on onison aside, I still think he rates 99 percent of these people higher than they actually are.

  12. idk why all the hate is coming NOW like I agree with some of them because he shouldn't be shaming people with braces who are proud to smile. Women who send him pictures of their "fat" body in hope of getting help but instead get torn down even more and possibly develop a disorder. But come on, these guys ASKED to be rated. Is it kind of creepy? Yes, but he promised to make this video so he did.

  13. Damn you have to pay alimony sounds like she needs to go to work I didn't take my ex to court and extort money from him I work

  14. In response to your two braces comments:
    I had braces. I had been dreading the day when I was getting them. I got really insecure about how I looked with them. So I then refused to smile in any photos that were taken of me. I instinctively covered my mouth with my hand whenever I laughed and it became a habit (even now I don’t have braces anymore). This was all because a boy at my school mentioned that smiling with braces made me look unattractive, and I hate to say it but that one kid gave an actual complex about my appearance that continues to this day.

  15. Ok first of all:
    Braces are NOT unattractive and,
    Second of all: if those girls have braces you would assume that they were NOT adults. Literally just pick another girl to to rate instead (not that he should rate anyone) of a literal 14 year old smh

  16. So.. Gurg isn't sexually attracted to girls with braces, so therefore they should just never smile. Got it. 🤦🏽‍♀️

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