Hi. This guy says, “Hello,”
I want to kill myself. You okay, sweetie? I just feel like
someone reached down my throat grabbed my small intestine,
pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck. Cookie? Carol moved her stuff out today. (all)
Ohh. – Let me get you some coffee.
– Thanks. Oh, ugh. Uh-oh, no. No, don’t.
Stop cleansing my aura. Don’t. Just leave
my aura alone, okay? I’ll be fine, alright?
Really, everyone I hope she’ll be very happy. – No, you don’t
– No, I don’t. To hell with her, she left me! And you never knew
she was a lesbian. No, okay? Why does everyone
keep fixating on that? She didn’t know,
how should I know? Sometimes,
I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud? Alright, Ross, look, you’re
feeling a lot of pain right now. You’re angry.
You’re hurting. Can I tell you
what the answer is? Strip joints! Come on, you’re single.
Have some hormones.. But I don’t want
to be single, okay? I just, I just,
I just want to be married again. And I just
won a million dollars. Rachel? [gasps]
Oh, God, Monica, hi. Thank god. I just went to your building
and you weren’t there. And then this guy with a big
hammer said you might be here and you are. You are. Can I get you some coffee? Decaf. Okay, everybody this is Rachel,
another Lincoln High survivor. This-this is everybody. This is Chandler, and Phoebe and Joey. And you remember
my brother, Ross? – Sure! Hi.
– Hey. So you want to tell us now,
or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? Oh, God! Well.. …it started about a half-hour
before the wedding. I was in this room where
we were keeping all the presents And I was looking
at this gravy boat. This really
gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. When all of sudden..
Sweet N’ Low? I realized I realized that I was
more turned on by this gravy boat
than by Barry. And then I got
really freaked out. And that’s when it hit me how much Barry
looks Mr. Potato Head. You know, I mean, I always
knew he looked familiar, but.. Anyway, I just had
to get out of there and I started wondering
“Why am I doing this?” and “Who am I doing this for?” So, anyway,
I just didn’t know where to go and I know that you and I
have kind of drifted apart but you’re the only person I
knew who lived here in the city. Who wasn’t
invited to the wedding. Oh, I was kind of hoping
that wouldn’t be an issue.