Eugene Ranks Every Disney Princess

(magical music) – Once upon a time. – In a land far, far away. – There lived four equally
beautiful young princesses. – Who dreamed of ranking everything. – But only one would be chosen to become the Rank King. – I wanna be a rank king. – Shut up, YB. – I’m right, you’re wrong, shut up. It’s my show. Today, we’re ranking all of
the official Disney princesses. (upbeat music) (magical music) Today, I’m joined by
my high princess court. – Hello, my name is YB, Princess of Seoul. I like 3D princesses. – What? You only like the recent princesses? – Yes.
– How old are you? – My name is Kaylin Burke, and I hail from Chandler, Arizona. I am passionate about powerful princesses. – I’m Alexandria, I hail from Studio City, and I like the princesses
with the pretty dresses. – And I’m your Rank King, King Eugenia, hailing from the beautiful,
exotic kingdom of Texas. Now this is a court of the highest order. We will be open to discussing and debating the placement of these
princesses, but in the end, my rank will reign supreme. For ranking, we have three criteria to judge these princesses. Number one, character. Who are they? What’s their personality? Number two, story. What did they do in the film? Where did they go? Do they grow or do they stay the same? Criteria three, Princess Power. What is the legacy of this princess? How does it affect young
girls and boys out there? What are they beyond the film? There are 14 total and
we’re gonna rank them from best to worst, and we can
also talk about their gowns. – [All] Yay! (Eugene laughing) – This is a custom made Mulan outfit I wore for Halloween last year, but it doesn’t mean that I’m
going to vote her number one. It only means I probably will. But even if I did. ♪ I’m right ♪ ♪ You’re wrong ♪ ♪ Shut up ♪ – What key were y’all in? We’re starting way back in 1937, the beginning of the Golden Age of Disney, with our first princess, Snow White, from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.” (magical music) The princess icon of Disney Studios, the first to launch all
of these other princesses. What do we think about her character? – She’s not my favorite, but
she’s not the worst, either. – Yeah, I don’t think she has
a very distinct personality and she kind of ran away from stuff, but she also made a life for
herself with the dwarves. – [Eugene] Like doesn’t she just basically clean their house? – Yeah, but they were
just like seven dirty guys living in filth, and so. – Story of my life! – So she made a house into a home. And also gave them friendship. – So this was the ’30s, so you know, maybe her form of empowerment was washing seven dudes’ laundry. Snow White has a very annoying voice. (Snow White singing)
– Specifically. – Very shrill, very
bird-like, and she is, though, waiting for her prince. – They get together in the end, but they didn’t really talk to each other. – Yeah, we don’t see any of
that relationship develop. – Yeah. – He straight up kisses a dead girl. – [Alexandria] Yeah. – What is the most helpless you
can make a female character? – Yeah.
– Dead. Do you guys remember the Evil Queen, who I love the Evil Queen way more. This is a good example of
a villain that I was like, way more aligned with,
’cause she had attitude. Mirror, who’s prettier than me? I’m gonna fucking kill her!
(women laughing) It’s like, Naomi Campbell and Tyra Banks. You feel for Tyra, but I get
where Naomi’s coming from. I think we all agree,
Tyra Banks should go, no, we’re gonna put her like
here, just to hover. We’ll keep her here right now. She’s not last yet, but we
know Snow White, in her era, she did the best she could.
– Yeah. – Next up, entering the Silver
Age of Disney animation, (magical music)
Cinderella. This was one of my classics at a child, watching old Disney movies. – She was kind of boring for me. – [Alexandria] Really? – As the Cheetah Girls would say, ♪ I don’t wanna be no Cinderella ♪ – Reference!
♪ Sitting in a dark ♪ ♪ Cold dusty cellar ♪ – Speaking of which, do you remember the Brandy version of Cinderella? – [All] Yes. – Yes.
– How could you– – With Whitney Houston and
the prince was effing Asian? Disney lost a lot of
money during the war time, during the ’40s, so then,
“Cinderella” was a movie that really launched it
back into being lucrative. What I like about Cinderella
is that she’s clearly in a position from the get go
where you sympathize with her. Indentured servitude by
her wicked stepsisters, and her wicked stepmom,
then, she gets mice to make clothes for her? – Yeah, and she hangs out with them. It’s like when Tom
Hanks was on the island, and he made Wilson.
– Yeah. – Another friend.
– Exactly. – That’s true, that’s true. – Like if you read the old fairy tales, it’s like actually meant
to be like she’s crazy. – She’s crazy?
– Yeah. – So all Disney princesses are crazy, ’cause they all talk to animals. – Yeah, well, I mean, ’cause
they’ve all been through a lot. – True.
– They’ve seen some shit. You know? – You know, fun fact, when I was a child, I really thought I could talk to birds. Cinderella’s a good voice. ♪ So this is love ♪
– Yeah, it’s very lofty. – It’s more alto, it’s really pleasant. But the story is that her
fairy godmother comes, saves her to go to the
ball, where the prince falls in love with her, then he loses her, only to find the glass slipper, and then, scours the
kingdom to find who it fits. Which seems strange, because I feel like there has to be like a hundred girls with the same shoe size. – I know, yeah, that’s
one of the problems. – Also, her face wasn’t covered. She didn’t have like a Batman mask on. – Yeah.
– It’s like, we know who this girl was. – Listen, it’s the Superman rule. If you put on glasses, you
look totally different. She went from a glamorous,
bedazzled jewel to someone in like anthropology. She was Queer Eyed! – Yeah! – She was Queer Eyed into success. – Oh my God! – Now I wanna watch the fairy godmother be played by Jonathan Van Ness. This pumpkin is gonna
be a gorgeous carriage. – Another, “Another Cinderella Story.” – (laughing) She seems like an improvement when it comes to, you know, recognizing what a female character can have. – Yeah.
– Yeah. – So let’s just balance it out. Let’s balance it out, and
put her over here right now. Now, into 1959, we have Princess Aurora, otherwise known as Sleeping Beauty. (magical music) – [Kaylin] Otherwise known as the worst. She’s asleep the whole movie!
– Yeah. You think about her
three fairy godmothers. Like, they carried the movie.
– Yeah. The whole thing. – I think she has the most
interesting, artful design to her as a princess. Oh, you wanna know a fun fact? They modeled her movement and
body off of Audrey Hepburn. – She’s nice. – She’s nice. She can also sing to animals. – Like you can invite her out, but she’s not your first choice. – [Eugene] All right, for
the story, it seems like she’s asleep for most of the time. Princess Power? – What effect does this have on society other than telling girls you need to wait, be asleep, maybe in a vegetative state, until some man comes along and saves you? – Be careful of a needle. – Yeah.
– Be careful of needles. – Like it’s literally like its own, it’s kinda, it’s creepy, a
little, maybe a little rapey. – Are we just dropping Aurora down? – [YB] I think so. – I mean, she’s real pretty,
but that can only get you so far when you’re dead
for most of the movie. – We may have to X that word. – We’re jumping decades into the future, because Disney went through a lot of shit between “Sleeping Beauty” and
“The Little Mermaid” in 1989. (upbeat music) It took them that long to
get another princess film. This is the beginning of
the Disney Renaissance, which for many of us, was our childhoods. – Mm-hmm.
– Yeah. – [Kaylin] She’s a fun girl, you know? It’s like, she has a lot of personality. – [Alexandria] She has
a great singing voice. – Yeah. She’s kind of funny, like a little quirky. – Yeah.
– I love it. – She’s adventurous, even
though she is a little dumb for selling her voice just
so she can be with a guy. – So what about Princess Power? What’s her legacy? – She actually leaves
behind a fairly good message for young girls.
– Yeah. – [Kaylin] I feel like she’s
the first princess, though, that has hopes and dreams.
– True. – She wants to see the world.
– Yeah. – [Kaylin] She’s like a little
rebellious with her family. She’s like, “Dad, you don’t
get to tell me what to do.” – You kinda start empathizing
with King Triton a little bit. Why you gonna run away and
give a witch your voice? Just for legs? – Yeah, but at least she had aspirations. – She doesn’t just wanna go to the surface for Prince Eric, she
wants to go walk around, and see the people and what they do. – Yes.
– Yeah. She is primarily motivated
to leave her entire life and all that she knows for
those that she doesn’t know for one dude that she saw once. – But he’s really hot. – But he is really hot. – She met him and she’s
like, oh, I’m gonna see what else is up there, you know? – Or down there.
– Oh! (dolphin trilling)
– And you know what? She got thingamabobs, 20! And you know what that gets her? Fast tracked to the top, baby. – Yay!
– Oh, my crown! Closely after “Little Mermaid,” we have “Beauty and the
Beast” with Belle, 1991. (magical music) – [Kaylin] Her character’s
great, I feel like. She’s an intellectual. – [Alexandria] Yeah, she loves to read. Gaston, the hottest guy in the
town, doesn’t care about him. – Yeah.
– Doesn’t appeal to her. – [Kaylin] Fuck that guy. (laughing) – [Alexandria] And then,
she goes into the forest to save her dad. – Which automatically gives
her points in my book. I think her being the
weirdo for being smart is super relatable,
even though she is like, obviously super gorgeous. – Yeah. – The second half of the
movie becomes very sad, because it’s like, it’s
basically Stockholm Syndrome. – Yeah, she falls in love with her captor. – Her captor, yeah. – That’s why, in these movies, you have something called a
montage, where they sing a song, and you’re like, whoa, Belle
suddenly likes this dude, ’cause he eats, ’cause now
they’re eating soup together in a funny way.
– They’re playing in the snow. – [Eugene] We’re playing in the snow. He likes little birdies, and you’re like, wow, I’m on board with this romance. This kidnapper’s dope. – [Alexandria] But that’s the cool part, is he wasn’t like a hot beast. – Excuse me, the Beast was hot. – In fairy tale times, he was not– – He was a monster.
– Traditional hot, yes. – The Beast was hotter– – Weren’t you sad when
he turned into a man? – Yeah.
– Yeah. – I was like, who’s this guy? – Yeah, he looked better as a beast. – It’s a good lesson,
because she fell in love with his heart, like
an intellectual would, and she wasn’t distracted by vanity. – Or maybe she was distracted– – And she just liked that beast look. – By his hot, furry self.
(Beast growling) I also relate to the fact
that she’s in a tiny town, and she’s looking to get out somewhere, to find a place that
accepts her for who she is. It’s similar to “The Little
Mermaid,” but way more clear. – Ariel, I feel like, is
more kind of selfish driven, even though she has good intentions, but she does it for herself? – I guess Belle was far more
selfless throughout her story, because it was to save her father, and then, really, to save
the Beast in the end. Does Belle go higher or lower than Ariel? – I put her lower. – I think lower. – Yeah, I think she should
technically be higher, because she’s smarter and she’s brave, but Ariel just had really good songs. – Yeah.
– I think Belle is a superior princess to Ariel. – No! – And I’m gonna put her
above the fish girl. Staying in the Disney Renaissance era, we have Princess Jasmine from “Aladdin.” (magical music) Ooh.
– I love Jasmine. – [Eugene] I love Jasmine. – [Alexandria] But she’s
like the first hot one. Like all these ladies are beautiful, but she’s hot.
– She’s the hot one. – Yeah, she is hot.
– She voices her opinion. – Yes.
– But she’s not whiny like Ariel, like Ariel’s like, “But Daddy, I love him!” Jasmine’s like, “I am
not a prize to be won.” – She’s supposed to be forced
into an arranged marriage, right, and then she’s like,
I’m not doing that shit. I don’t love that guy. – And she knew Jafar was
bad before anyone else. She has good instincts. – Well, she really is defying
a lot of these cultural, gender roles that were placed on her, while looking hot as fuck. Everything she did in
her power that she could was to defy the cage that she was put in. I think that’s really honorable. – Yeah, she’s really strong. She was one of the first princesses that was a true hero figure. – [Alexandria] Yeah, she was never really a damsel in distress.
– Yeah. – Jasmine is also the first
princess who is of color. That sort of Princess Power
was, alone, like huge. – Yeah.
– Yeah, ’cause I think every girl of color I knew was, then, it was kind of like being the Scary Spice in a Spice Girls dress up? – Oh my God, yes.
– Everyone was Jasmine. I think I’m gonna slide Jasmine up top. (Kaylin cheering)
I don’t know. I just always–
– You did it. – I think Jasmine also
stands the test of time. I can still feel her standing
up for herself today, or way back when this set in Agrabah. Staying in the Disney
Renaissance in the ’90s, I believe this is Kaylin’s birth year. – Maybe.
– 1995? – Is it, I don’t know? – That’s crazy. Pocahontas, 1995.
(magical music) Pocahontas is drop dead gorgeous. – Mm-hmm.
– And the hair. – Yeah.
– And I feel like she has to be ripped to be
able to run around the forest. – Oh, yeah.
– Jump down waterfalls. – She’s super fit.
– I remember running around as a kid, like touching rocks and trees, and then, thinking that
I could talk to them, because Pocahontas said I could. – [Kaylin] Her character is unshakable. – Yeah, mature, elegant, all
about connecting with nature and appreciating your family. – Yeah, she has a very true north, she’s like, values are super secure. – She has good judgment and good morals. – Yeah.
– And she didn’t end up with the guy in the end. She saves him, even
though they’re invaders, and then, at the end, she
doesn’t stay with him. – Yeah, that’s true.
– She’s like, bye, bitch. – Yeah. – It’s kinda like “Bachelor in Paradise,” like they had this whole
great journey together, and they loved each other, but in the end, it wasn’t right. – Yeah, the story leaves
room to be desired, super historically inaccurate, especially since it’s
based on a real person, John Smith never had a
romantic relationship with her. She was 10 when John Smith landed there. But Pocahontas as a
character really carries the film and I think the Princess Power. You know, I think I’m gonna
have to put Pocahontas below the top three.
(Alexandria gasping) I think so.
– Really? – This whole order is
just giving me anxiety. – I think so. I think as a princess, she’s way high. But I think as just a general legacy thing for considering the entire film, it’s lower than these three films. – Yeah, for sure.
– It’s our girl, who dressed as a boy, Mulan, 1998. – Yeah, whoo!
(magical music) I love Mulan.
– Put her at the top. – Yeah. We don’t need to talk about it. – She transcends gender norms, in a Disney film, my God,
she becomes a warrior to protect her family,
to protect her country, without glory, without selfishness, she has all the qualities
of a true leader, she literally leads an
army and defeats hundreds of thousands of Huns, my God. There’s a lot of Asians on this panel. I know she inspired us,
but she should inspire every young person.
– Yeah, no. – Especially young girls. She didn’t need no man. – Yeah, not at all.
– She became the man, and then, she did better than the man. – Not at all.
– That is crazy, and especially for an Asian woman. – Yes.
– Especially for a storyline that became iconic to queer people, like this was revolutionary,
so much more than I think Disney even understood it at the time. – [Kaylin] Yeah, I don’t think they even knew what they were doing. – They didn’t even know.
– They did not intend this but they hit like all the marks. – I think it’s less of a
fairy tale and less magical, but also, the being
realistic, and just her, how she transforms, it
makes it like a fairy tale. – Yeah.
– I also loved that her love storyline
is more of just her having a secret crush on
Shang Li the whole time. Like it wasn’t a motivator for her. She wasn’t doing this for him. She wasn’t doing it to get him. She was doing it for her father. – And Shang Li was totally
into her as a dude, so that’s why this was even better. (romantic music) He’s like super on the bi train. – Yeah.
– And I’m all about that. – [Alexandria] He’s questioning
himself the whole time. – Yeah, when she hits him,
and he falls to the ground, he goes like, oh, I’m
like, wow, he’s like, man, I wish I could get on that
in a different type of way, some more exercises in the bedroom, you know what I’m saying? Well, let’s put her at the top. – Princess Power!
– Mulan’s going to the top. Princess Power forever. You don’t need no man.
– You don’t need no man. – And you can wear a ponytail. – Be a man. – With all the force of a great typhoon, and all the strength of a raging fire, and mysterious as the
dark side of the moon. We’re in the current era of Disney, Renaissance Revival with Princess Tiana, from “The Princess and the Frog,” 2009, the first black Disney princess. She’s the only businesswoman
in the entire princess canon. That’s really important to say. She found independence
and strong mindedness through just the will of what
she desired to do in life. – Even when they introduced
the male character, she did not give a fuck about him. She was not here for the bullshit. She’s like, yeah, great,
I get it, you’re rich. I’m working on my other things over here. I don’t need you to mess this up for me. – Now one thing I do
take some points off for is that she does spend a large
part of the film as a frog. – Obviously, I’m biased,
and she is my top, like the amount of times
I’ve dressed up as Tiana for Halloween? – Oh, you’d look so good!
– Countless, yes. Slutty Tiana looks great. – Let’s put a picture of
Slutty Tiana up right now. You’re welcome. – But yeah, it’s like the
first time that I was like, really felt represented
on screen, in Disney, but then, it’s like, they had to go and fuck it up with that. – She’s below Jasmine for me. – No, no, no, no, no, no, no. – I personally love her character, but her story, as a whole, in the movie, I think Jasmine was
stronger in her own movie. – No, if you look at her as a frog, too, ’cause she was herself as a frog, she was making shit happen,
and still seized the day, even when she’s frog! No, no, no, no, no, no. – I’m sorry, Kaylin.
– No, no, no, no, no. – But the Rank King has spoken. Moving into the CGI era,
Rapunzel from “Tangled,” 2010. They didn’t name her Rapunzel,
’cause they wanted boys to see it, so they called it “Tangled.” They got all the women in the
Disney Animation Department to vote on what they
found the most attractive in hot male celebrities and qualities, and that’s how they designed Flynn Rider. He was like a hottie. – Doesn’t he have like a
little soul patch, though? – Yeah, the soul patch kinda threw it off. – Why?
– They could’ve done it without the soul patch. She’s like, basically trapped
inside a tower her whole life. – With her long hair.
– So I guess Disney was like, how do we make her– – Strong.
– Capable and inspirational? – Yeah, they were trying.
– They tried. Essentially, that whole story,
the prince just saves her. – Exactly. – With her goddamn hair.
– Exactly. – So they give her a fun personality, they give her Mandy Moore’s voice, they give her a pan she
can hit people with. – Yeah, they give her
motives, but overall, I feel like she’s still not that strong. – And I don’t think she’s that relatable. – [Eugene] But I do like that
she gets this cute little shag at the end, this little brunette shag. – I didn’t like that.
– When I saw that in theaters, the little girl next to me, wearing a princess dress
watching it starts crying, and the mom goes, “What’s wrong?” “Mom, she’s ugly now.”
(Kaylin gasping) – I agree, she’s kinda ugly now. – She looked great with that
short little Dorothy Hamill cut but for story, she’s kind of
a prisoner of her own fable. I’m gonna start pushing
her a little lower. – Yeah, she’s definitely lower, even though I love to see her. – I’ll put her below
Cinderella, above Snow White. – Yeah, that’s good.
– Yeah. – 2012, the first Pixar
princess, Merida from “Brave.” (magical music) Here she is, Merida. How do we feel about her character? – I thought she was really strong. She really carried the movie, but I thought she was annoying. – But she had the same strain
that Princess Jasmine had, which was she was in royalty, and she didn’t want to be stuck under the tradition of marrying
a man and being sold off, so that’s where her real
strength comes from. Also, she’s a great archer. Like, that’s the coolest thing. She’s super athletic, and I’m gonna quote Keith about the story. So Keith, in our podcast,
The TryPod, went off about the storyline, because
you watch the trailer, and you’re like, “If you could
change your fate, would ya?” – What?
(Zach laughing) I hate it, I was so mad. I think it’s gonna be
about this woman winning an archery competition.
– Yeah. – Against all the odds. No, it’s about her family
turning into bears. – [Kaylin] We had these expectations, especially titling it “Brave.” – Yeah.
– Like you expect this whole– – They really should’ve titled it “Bear.” (all laughing) – [YB] Bear. – If you could change
into a bear, would ya? I mean, that’s kind of
what it ended up being. – Yeah. – She feels fairly modern,
because of her intentions, her motivations, but the fact
that she did not win over the three women on this
panel from the movie means that maybe there were certain things that were not quite perfect with the story or her Princess Power. I’m gonna put Merida below Cinderella, but above Rapunzel, just
because of the strength of the character alone. We are now in 2013, and of course, one of Disney’s biggest hits ever. We have two princess, nay,
a princess and a queen, Princess Anna and Queen
Elsa from “Frozen.” (magical music) They are the two characters
that I’ve included that are not part of the
official Disney Princess lineup. The merchandising is so
popular for these two that if you put them in the same lineup, kids would buy their stuff
and ignore the other things. It’s all about merch, y’all. They went with this whole
red herring storyline of Anna being into the classic, I need to be rescued by
a prince and get married, and then, it turned out
that he was the villain, and then, it became
essentially kind of like the love story between two sisters. – Yes.
– Like their bond, which is very unique. – I like that Elsa’s kind of storyline is she’s essentially scared, ’cause she has something
different about her. – [Group] Yeah. – That is not socially
accepted, basically. That’s what the whole,
like her parents are like, put these gloves on,
because you’re too scary. – Yeah, your powers are too great. – Yeah, and then. – And that’s why “Let It
Go” is a great moment, even though the song,
people got tired of it. – I love her song.
– But it’s like her being, I’m gonna fucking, not
only am I gonna show you that I could freeze your
ass off, look at this dress. – [Kaylin] Yeah, the Princess
Power is really good here, I feel like, because the message is like, your strength is your beauty. – Elsa, overall, is a more
refreshing type of princess, because you’ve never seen
someone who has essentially been the holder of great power,
who has had to deal with it, embrace it, and then channel it. I love that Elsa, weirdly, has
been what a lot of us wanted, which is an anti-hero,
like she’s a villain who is funneled through a princess lens. – I think she does become
a villain for a second, when she’s attacking her guards. – Yeah.
– Oh yeah. – Like give her that whole– – That was great, I loved that. – [YB] I think Elsa has
more Princess Power, while Anna’s more relatable
because she grows into it. – [All] Yeah. – [Eugene] If Anna was just in her story by herself without Elsa,
she would not stand up as much as an interesting character, so a lot of it’s in
relation to the sister. I’m gonna put Elsa– – No, don’t do it, don’t do it. – Below Tiana.
– Okay, thank you. – And above Belle. – Like I need to watch the movie. – Thank God. – I’m putting Anna below Cinderella. We have one more princess left. Are y’all ready? The most recent one to be inducted, Moana! (all cheering)
(magical music) From 2016.
– I love Moana. – Who doesn’t like Moana? She’s the first Disney Princess
with what one would call a more realistic body type. – [Alexandria] Yeah, they
made her like they drew Nani, more realistic legs. – Almost like the first
time she started talking, we could feel that she was fully realized. – Yeah, she was really relatable. – [Eugene] She just wants to explore, while earlier princesses
were saved to get there, the newer princesses
are self enacting that, they’re the catalysts of their own fate. – Moana made me cry.
– Yeah. – In her heart, she’s
trying to help the island. She doesn’t know it yet. She’s a kid. So it has that–
– To save their family. – Little Mermaid feel, yeah, and then, it’s also about the family
values attached to it. – I think she’s just a
really fully realized version of what I would consider
like a successful, modern Disney Princess.
– Yeah. – I think she just hit all
the things on the head. I’m putting Moana above Tiana.
– No! – Wow!
– I am so upset. – Tiana was a frog for half the movie. – Yeah.
– Okay, but– – And Moana did all that shit by herself. (dramatic music) I would love to close ranks
by allowing one last argument from each Rank Princess
to tell me should I move a certain princess somewhere else. – My closing rank argument is that Ariel and Belle should be be switched. First of all, Ariel is a mermaid, which is awesome.
– End of argument. – End of argument. I know that Belle had better intentions, ’cause she wanted to save her dad. Ariel’s story, I feel like
is just more interesting, because she has underwater
and above water, she has this really cool villain with her, while Belle’s villain
is more just like a guy. I would watch “The
Little Mermaid” way more than “Beauty and the Beast.” – I am gonna double down on this. I cannot get past the Stockholm Syndrome. I’m like, it’s so sad. I feel like it just creates
an unhealthy mental narrative for a little girl. – I think Pocahontas should be higher. She was really, really
strong, chose her family and her people over John
Smith, and she made sure that he got out fine, and
always did what was best for everyone else. – After hearing your arguments, particularly since you all
grew up with these princesses, I agree, let’s put Ariel above Belle. – [YB] Yay! – And because we are a community of princesses who support each other, four equally beautiful,
feminine princesses, I’ll put Pocahontas above Belle. – [All] Yay! – That is it. That is our final rank. At the top, no surprise
there, there was a spoiler, that is basically what I’m wearing, Mulan. And at the very bottom,
we have Princess Aurora, otherwise known as Sleeping Beauty, otherwise known as didn’t do
jack shit during her movie. ♪ We’re right ♪ ♪ You’re wrong ♪ ♪ Shut up ♪ – It was still very bad. – It’s so bad. (laughing) – I lost it at the end. (upbeat music) – I can only take so many
baby face CGI girls– – What?
– For so long. They look like baby people. Give me a little more of these. I just wanna see some 2D hand drawings. Thank you, ranking–
– I like– – I’m right, you’re wrong, shut up.

Michael Martin

100 Responses

  1. pocahontas should’ve been way higher. they turned her story however politically incorrect it may be, into something that me and countless children were inspired by. the second movie i didn’t agree with, and i wish her and john didn’t fall in love. but throughout the story she is independent and selfless. there was never native women depicted in disney in a nicer light before this. think of peter pans “red men”.

  2. Pocahontas had probably the most important message of all of them imo and one that is super relevant today and will always be useful to everyone in life. Can we paint with all the colors of the wind, learn alternative views and see different perspectives, truly consider and understand the opposition, and work together. Ariel left her family and everything she knew for a man she knew all of five minutes without even speaking to him, giving up her gifts for a childish “grass is always greener” mentality. Selfish and not smart. She was a leap forward at the time and had fun songs but overall a very poor message. Pocahontas had great songs, beauty, strong message. But no princess dress so she always remains under the radar in terms of legacy and I DON’T GET IT. She should be at least top 3 💁🏻‍♀️

  3. There is no way Ariel isnt the second worst princess, she has a cool story but all for a guy she saw once and she defied her father, on purpose AND she didn’t even listen to her best friend, Sebastian the talking crab and honestly that’s the most upsetting part.. a talking crab people… a talking crab 🦀!!!

  4. I'm just gonna say.. Pocahontas did way more in her movie…she opened up conversations about interracial relationships,racism and colonialism.She proved that a pure ♥ and respect for nature can bridge two worlds together…so I would say she should have been placed before Ariel and Elsa.

  5. I feel like Anna should be higher because she did so so mu to save her sibling and showed little girls how to be courageous

  6. Eugene and Kelsey should get together again and rate every state drink… because that’s literally my favorite video ever.

  7. Tiana is by far my favorite, followed by pretty much the same order, just because Tia is just so independent, they don't force the love aspect on her, and she is extremely hard working. The one thing that I didn't like about that movie was my dude, Ray, dying 🙁

  8. Ariel will always be my #1. Of originals.. 2nd is a tie with belle and jasmine. But I also love tangled and frozen. So those are my to 5. No particular order after ariel.

  9. HOW CAN YOU PUT MERIDA BELOW CINDERELLA???? I mean cinderella literally got a guy because she was pretty, they kissed WITHOUT HIM KNOWING HER NAME and then she left. AND SHE NEEDED A GUY TO SAVE HER. MERIDA LITERALLY WON HER OWN HAND IN MARRIAGE!!!! I am not OK. And I will probably be commenting more later. I was fine with the ranking up until this point.

  10. I hate the frog princess. 1 because they bought the authors book rights, and 2 they made her a black girl in Louisiana. I feel like there is a lot of black history with powerful women, that would have made a much better story, instead of taking something and adapting it. The story E.D.Baker wrote was better, she was a princess who went to a swamp in her free time, because she didn't want to be controlled by her mother, and various other reasons. The book was a much better story. It was about her saving the prince, and her aunt, and getting her aunt and the man her aunt loved back together. then she fell in love with a fat prince, after she rescued them, and turned them back. Sigh, I hate it when studios buy the rights then don't make the movie based on the story. It's basically saying hey we like the title and the concept, but the story can just piss off. I felt cheated, and I'm still mad about it.

  11. Oh yeah, cause you would apologize to animals for scaring them after being under a super controlling mother. Have a huntsman go after your heart after learning your mother wants to kill you. Also, Snow white was showing her graditude to the 7 dwarves for taking care of her.

  12. Aurora. Prince Philip lactually battled so much shot. Plus they were engaged. Shout up with the need to be asleep. The fairy Godmothers let him out so he could break a curse.

  13. I am biased when it comes to my favorite but when it comes to the best in my opinion, here is my list:

    1. Moana

    2. Mulan

    3. Tiana

    4. Jasmine

    5. Elsa

    6. Pocahontas

    7. Merida

    8. Belle

    9. Rapunzel

    10. Ariel

    11. Cinderella

    12. Anna

    13. Aurora

    14. Snow White

  14. In Frozen, Anna is the superior princess. Elsa is consumed by her fear and shuts everyone out. If it wasn’t for Anna it would still be winter in Arendale. Elsa was a bad sister and impossible to deal with. There I said it! Oh and she’s incredibly whiny!

  15. ok but they did pocahontas so dirty. ariel is a dumb dumb who sold her voice for a guy whereas pocahontas, while inaccurate to the real story, saved her people and helped the settlers while doing so. she risked her own life to save the man who’s talked crap abt her people the whole time. at the very least, she should i be above elsa bc let’s be real, frozen is just annoying and since they throw in personal preferences, i will too.


  17. While I really loved Aladdin as a kid, as an adult I've always found it a little disconcerting how Jasmine seems so unaware of the laws of her country and basic economics at the beginning during the market scene. If your country has a law allowing hands to be chopped off of thieves without any sort of trial and you are hte heir to the throne and of marrying age, you should know that.

    Mulan was/is my favorite though. I used to watch that movie, rewind it, and rewatch it over and over(I think I was about ten when it came out) so much that it started a running joke between me and my dad where whenever one of us sees the other watching a show or movie they have seen before we teasingling ask 'Do you want me to t ell you how that ends?"

    As for Beauty and the Beast, I did always like that story but liked it even more when I read Robin McKinley(sp?)'s novel Rose Daughter which made the beast someone who was transformed for messing with things beyond his reach instead of being rude to an old lady and in the end he doesn't get fully transformed back, but is a very big hairy man who is also a wonderful carpenter and they go back to live with her father and sisters.

  18. OKAY CAN I JUST RANT about the "she was a frog the whole movie" shit BECAUSE SHE FUCKING wasNT. I stg this is one of those things where people clearly have not actually seen the actual film in a very long time because deadass she was shown in human form FAR more than frog form, but even despite that, it never was an issue in the movie??? Like at all?!??!? The whole point of them being frogs was that Naveen and Tiana learn to accept eachother for their actual personalities and not what society sees, and just The Princess And The Frog as a whole was a damn masterpiece from start to finish, and I will not ACCEPT this blatantly false slander. This is why The Princess And The Frog doesnt get watched by people or get the credit it deserves and its the films ten fucking year anniversary this year!!!! Ughhhh its just unfair. Everyone if you havent already do yourself a favor and watch TPATF for yourself. It truly is a gem and Tiana is by far the best princess. Period!!!!

  19. TIANAS PLACE ON THE LIST IS DOWNRIGHT INSULTING AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. The best princess with the best movie is always downplayed/underrated and it pisses me the fuck off. Y'all really downplay the magnificence of Tiana and it saddens me.


  21. unpopular opinion: Moana is the most overrated and generic princess disney has ever made. She is literally just recycled tropes of better princesses before her in some nice animation. Thats IT!!!

  22. When Jasmine stayed in second spot it irked me especially as many of the other princesses A) have better stories B) have a tonne more princess power and C) have more agency in their story. Jasmine just doesn't even compare

  23. i feel like they did Merida so dirty in this 🙁 they all forgot the fact that she was literally a 16 year old being forced to get married??? also she was the only princess with no love interest and the whole film was about her and her mother's relationship and how stronger it got over the course of the movie. she defiantly stands strong with mulan and jasmine in my opinion.

  24. Deadset Eugene had it perfected, except maybe Rapunzel could've been higher and definitely Pocahontas should've been lower (have you seen the sequel??!!) but then they ruined it when they switched it at the end! Belle is my absolute fav so she definitely should've been higher than where she ended up. Also I think Cinderella was too high and Rapunzel definitely should have been above her and probably Merida too honestly but oh well. BUT IM MAD BECAUSE IT WAS PERFECT ENOUGH AND THEN YOU SWITCHED IT RIGHT AT THE END UGH

  25. Love mulan, have both of her movies and am currently trying to get my daughter to love her because she's awesome! … but she is not a princess. Shes a soldier, a woman, and a hero, not a princess.

  26. I was very disappointed in the story for Brave. It didn't seem to fit what I thought it would be about at all.

  27. Who would even think ariel is superior to belle? Wtf. Also, they did pocahontas so dirty, putting her behind a girl who sold her freaking voice… over a dude!!

  28. Nah Tiana and Moana should’ve been before Jasmine. I love Jasmine but besides refusing to be in an arranged marriage, she literally does nothing else.

  29. Beauty and the beast isn’t Stockholm syndrome the Rupunzel is Stockholm syndrome. Merida did not deserve to be ranked so low. As a red head with curly hair who also did archery I was so cool to see a princess like me, who didn’t want to date a guy (I’m gay😂)

  30. Since Aurora is my favorite, I feel like I have to defend her for a minute.
    What I got out of her story as a child is that sometimes you have to do your duty even if it's a surprise or not what you want. She goes back to the castle, thinking she'll never see Prince Phillip (or the animals in the forest) again because she's a princess and she's needed to make an alliance with another kingdom. Sure it's not a typical empowering role, but a lot of stuff in life happens that you can't control and you just gotta deal with. And princess Aurora taught me that you can handle what life throws at you with grace and confidence, even when you have no idea what's going to happen and you're terrified.

  31. I feel like they made one film for every ethic minority just to tick the boxes then they went back to doing all white

  32. 1) Mulan
    2) Pocahontas
    3) Moana
    4) Jasmine
    5) Belle
    6) Tiana
    7) Ariel
    8) Elsa
    9) Merida
    10) Cinderella
    11) Anna
    12) Rapunzel
    13) Snow White
    14) Aurora

  33. 😱 Princess Aurora deffo best in my books. My fav Disney film as a child and named after her father 👑

  34. Agreed with the worst Princess!!! like sleeping beauty didn't do shit in her movie! Like what was the point to that movie?!?!

  35. Moana should go above Jasmine. Jasmine didn’t really pull her weight in the movie (compared to other princesses) beyond talking and seducing that evil dude in that one scene.

  36. I’m not even gonna watch it because I know that (not in order) Tiana, Elsa, Moana, Rapunzel, and Mulan should be top 5 anyway

  37. Moana deserves to be second best princess she’s not less of a warrior than mulan plus she’s only a kid who traveled the sea to save her island and her people AND she’s a great example of a woman leader



  40. I think belle should’ve been number 1 or at least in the top 3 and higher ranked than Ariel (Because Ariel changes herself for a guy. Idk. I don’t think that‘s good to teach kids). She gives out a good message: Don’t care about what other people think (okay, that message is in every Disney movie) Especially Gaston’s sexist remarks about her being a woman that reads. It was the first Disney princess movie, that had sexism as one of its topics. And also the fact that she fell in love with a “beast”. I freakin’ love that movie.

  41. I could kinda live with this ranking if only Cinderella wasn't placed so high up, Merida is a much better choice. I'd love to see Meg from Hercules added to this ranking as well.

  42. That LAST END SCENE!!! EUGEEENNNEEEE I STANNN 😂😂💕💕! Show more of thaaaat! 😂😂😂😂😂 “I’m RIGHT YOURWRONGSHUTUP! 😂

  43. Jasmine gets ranked so high because she's the HOT princess?!!!! They're all extremely beautiful, while Jasmine creates the most unrealistic and unachievable body image of all the princesses and belittles the self confidence and self love of young women. She does not empower women, although defying people, she does nothing for herself and is weak.

  44. Only us adopted kids, or kids who never knew their parents and all of us parental abuse and neglect victims will fully see Rapunzel in her true light…

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