A Round table discussion on Marriage and relationship


design please give me the street so we’re gonna
go over some scriptures and that we’re kind of gonna want to hear from you know
cause we want to hear from the elders in regards of your point of view but well
today is we’re going to set up an environment of no judgement okay there’s
no right and wrong we’re not going to you know you say
something I have a problem with with this we’re gonna pull up scriptures and
start get the camera in your face you know we’re not gonna go into that today
but we are gonna go in some scriptures but we want to kind of just put
everything in the table the table the struggle within marriage and we’re gonna
cause you know ultimately come with solute solution I always believed that
if you could find you could acts why seven times you could get to the core
the problem you know why do you do that you get an answer why why why keep
acting why eventually you’ll get to the answer so what we are noticing in the
church is that we read the scripture we and elder mom’s gonna read the scripture
real quick we’re gonna go read all the way through from 21 all the way to 35 or
30 N and because this is the standard write of what God established what is
the image of a marriage Sonne n since that we now got the
foundation okay then we’re gonna discuss openly and non-judgmentally why we
sometimes struggle with these things I want to hear from the brothers and I
definitely want to hear from the sisters so that we will read the scriptures real
quick alright this is the book of Ephesians chapter 5 starting at verse 20
giving thanks always for all things unto the most
and the father in the name of our Lord is shia christ verse 21 submitting
yourselves one to another in the fear of the Most High verse 22 wives submit
yourselves unto your own husband’s as unto the Lord for the husband is the
head of the wife even as Christ is head of the church and he is the savior of
the body verse 24 therefore as the church is subject unto Christ so let the
wives be to their own husband’s in everything
verse 25 husbands love your wives I’ll repeat that husbands love your wives
even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it first when he says
that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word
verse 27 that he might present to himself a glorious church not having
spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without
blemish so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies he that loveth his
wife loveth himself verse 29 for no man ever yet hated his
own flesh but nourishes it and cherishes it even as the Lord the church verse 34
we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones for this cause shall a
man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they
too shall be one flesh this is a great mystery but I speak concerning the
church and concerning Christ salokya and the church verse 33 nevertheless let
every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife
see that she reverence her husband okay so that’s a foundation that’s the
standard when the most high is established
what is the image of a marriage the easy and said and done so we’re gonna just go
into it I’m going to start with the panel and I watched that one uses it
surely well you were six you know express it to me they’re kind of wrong
kind of my juices flow in my brain so like you know that’s a good point but
then we kind of figure it out that in the scripture are dealing with the men
all to the new and old testament it’s over specifically dealing with God
telling Israel the Israelite men obey me keep my Commandments you’ve been
a straight and things that nature and there’s a plethora of scripture of women
of example of righteous woman you know proverbs 30 who could find a virtuous
woman and it goes into much detail and why she’s she’s verse was okay you go
into the the Apocrypha and it talks about you know is better at the beliefs
talk about 25 it says it’s better for men to dwell in a den of lions is to
deal with a wicked women and allow woman and wicked women don’t let her Liberty
it goes into a lot into what is a bad woman in the scripture what is a good
woman in Scripture in regards of marriage but from there was not much and
other Riccar want to hear your your thought the son as well not so not a lot
in what is a bad husband in the scripture we figure it out it is in his
hit and is it is actually the answer is given in description although my just
read but from your perspective you know what is your thoughts on that that when
a sister comes into the truth there’s a little positive scripture dealing with
how to be a good wife an example how to you know what is a wicked wife but it’s
not a good many of Scripture dealing with a husband particular and how to be
a good a husband and what is the example of our
husband so you could maybe touch on that okay so I think that the Bible is
replete in how much information there is for a husband to be a good wife a good
husband to his wife because it talks clearly about loving his wife as Christ
loved the church and if a husband is gonna love you the way Christ loved the
church he laid his life down for the church you don’t now in my opinion I
don’t see Christ badgering the church when the church was out of order even
when we go back into the Old Testament even when the Most High was angry with
Israel he still hovered over the church church was still so important to him and
so like I said in the scriptures in Proverbs all you hear is my son
don’t do this my son you know be righteous be holy all these things to
the man so the man before he even thinks about getting a wife should already be
in order as far as I can see and so the woman that’s made to follow or is put in
that position by default or by fault whichever way you want to look at it she
is certainly given all those scriptures and we kind of talked about it last
night that that virtue in us is very powerful and we can lead you down the
wrong way if you give us your strengths okay so to touch on that
you-you-you gave up every political correct answer as a woman okay and I
want to hear from other women’s a woman she cannot be an elder okay she cannot
be in a position of teaching and leading the church I said this many times that
when women come into the truth they lose more than a man in my in my personal
opinion mention a man could be an elder he could be a deacon off
so he couldn’t think that nature sisters have to obey their husband and in the
world usually a happy wife is a happy life just give her what she want and she
you know right so I want to hear from the sisters you could raise your hand
we’ll go around but sister you know how do you fell you know losing losing you
know good that I will say I know you grew up as a Christian woman okay
but the you ever struggled as a woman that I have to submit to myself myself
to this man alright so in my opinion most women do want a man that can lead
them they want one but what we find is many times you get a man who’s got his
heels in the mud and he’s not leading and we’re on this boat and I pick up the
oars and I start paddling and now you’re saying I’m leading because you hadn’t
picked the oars up okay we don’t ready to float out ocean okay so we wait with
with because those are reassuring we and read occurring themes we want to be led
yeah but yes okay he’s this he’s dead okay so outside o
the scripture the scripture says wise obey your husband right agent said and
done it says that but in reality there is a you and I was discussing earlier I
think you know hope to vana gets here soon and I sure want that sometimes
women will pick a man that they could create a bahattin project you know I see
see potential I can’t follow him now because he will fire me you you apart me
to the ditch but I see that little diamond in the rough can you talk about
that in regards of as a woman you know and of course you
know I know you talked about and the women show my faith the first women show
we talked about your first marriage you know that you picked the man who was
cute but had issue with drug abuse and things on a chain you stuck through it
because so he’s good library on that why would a woman like yourself who is
established smart okay we’ll pick a man that is struggling you know within how
much Richard Leonard you you you you you you winning jackpot what Leonard but but
but what were a woman will possess a woman all right since to the woman a man
there is a will be struggling and stay with him alright well first of all the
fact that he was good-looking was you know a major issue as a young woman okay
but the reason why we would stay with a man like that is because we’re dealing
from our own mental vantage point and we’re thinking okay so I’m doing things
that are not necessarily cohesive with marriage with whatever I’m you know
hanging out I’m spending money I might even be smoking weed I might be doing
all kinds of things but now I’m married now I got a baby now I got a family I’m
not gonna be doing this anymore and that’s how we see we think the man is
gonna be we think he’s going to also put down those childish things and become
like us and so therefore we’re willing to say okay I’ll take him because we
think he’s gonna clean up his act because that’s what we’re gonna do so
you you is putting the man in the way the way way from in the same wavelength
as you will think yes okay brothers no sisters
can anybody comment on that is that it’s been an issue in your experience that
you see a guy across the bar and okay he’s you know yes potential and you
create a man I’m a project or you go through the young lustful situation a
baby comes up you say okay um I’m gonna be responsible
and you expect that he’s gonna be responsible you have anybody gone
through that situation um with my husband when we first got together we
were in the world with our first daughter our oldest you know we were
both doing wrong drugs drinking partying but once I got pregnant just said sister
Shirley was saying so I definitely could be a witness to that I was ready to
change go to school make a better life and I believe he was gonna do the same
and he didn’t initially but I stuck around cuz I kept thinking he would I
kept thinking if I keep doing what’s right eventually he’ll get there and I
kept you know ignoring the fact that he may still be stuck on certain things
because I’m like we’ll get there together and I just kept pushing just
constantly believing that he would change so okay a lot of times we have
these relationships we come in my wife and I came in as teenagers right and we
did have a child eventually out of the relationship but the whole thing is what
are we looking at for a relationship in a man or a woman you know we have been
tied one thing but the reality is the word that’s teaching us the truth but
many of us are programmed to do something totally different so we come
in with the wrong expectations for marriage well one thing is if in the
world you’re doing after you’re going drinking and drugs you’re doing things
to die and not live and of marriage is about life and if we don’t have that
understanding when we come together we’re not talking about living our
marriage died we got a divorce and then we were remarried and you know the most
high allowed our family to come back together but that was a death and I
suffered that death you know but we have to grow as men and women and understand
who we are and why we doing it we can’t have somebody in the world tell us what
we should do when we already know that we’re doing wrong we need to wake up and
come together with this word that we’re understanding and in the world we don’t
know we’re totally lost out there you know we’re sheeps running around with
our heads chopped off so so so when we come in there and we got to talk to
people about a relationship how many of us
going to tell the truth if I’m saying anything that does not represent you
please raise your hand and correct me I’m speaking as men speaking not only as
an individual but you what I have exert as other men us men we don’t change
until we ready to change and we’re very selfish in debt if I’m saying anything
wrong just raise your hand say I’m not that way cuz I don’t want to represent
all men I experienced I think I began to change my way of thinking around 34 36
or on that era 46 now but around that time I began their evolution of change
there was no man woman or child that would change my way of thinking until
I’m ready to change is I’m saying anything that is not true brothers
that’s true but I believe that’s true for men and women okay I don’t think
that’s men and women no one is going to change until they’re ready to change
like the sister she said she had an instance of a pregnancy that say I have
to start doing what’s right so that was an instant that caused a change well men
have different things they may they may run into usually traumatic that will say
you know what I have to change because we don’t have that that same instance of
life like a woman do to have a decision to make sure she’s right for a baby it’s
different but it’s still the same I believe that men and women have traits
that they will never change unless it’s called for women has it early because
they are dealt with something that men don’t have to deal with they dealt with
pregnancy at an early age and they going through a change already and we’ll just
looking at the change we can play with the change once it comes you understand
but it’s not an instant change in our body and responsibility and I think that
that calls to why women mature earlier and
is really and is willing to receive more more of a spiritual foundation earlier
than men I believe but but but to your instance
yes that is true okay so our brother who and I agree with you women this is my
personal theory women mature quicken and men women mature hit a plateau if
anything I’m saying is wrong is if we please raise your hand please raise your
hand and I’m gonna get to you meaning there’s a certain level of maturity to
the woman we’ll go to that was she will not go beyond but they will she will get
to that quicker than a man let me just say this and and and I want the brothers
and I want the sisters if I’m this is my observation if I’m wrong or you believe
it is you disagree you know I’m just throwing everything in the table that
there is always going to be a level of a thing with sisters that they’re going to
need some level of comfort that a man does not necessarily and always we need
I don’t know if you call that maturity or just different I don’t know but
there’s always gonna be a thing with women did she need security comfort a
man who will always when he achieve some level of maturity this is a maybe I’m
speaking for myself there’s a quote a cold bloody miss to him other words I
love Desiree’s did I met her but I was not mentally ready to present that it
was I love her but I’m not I wasn’t ready to change I’m ready and when I’m
getting ready not and you could do or say to change that I’m you’re selfish
that way you actually pretty correct in a lot of what you’re saying I think it
it really comes down to arm we’re perspective is and I give you the
reason why I had my first child when I was 17 and my thing was I grow I knew of
my father but I didn’t know him so I always promised myself if I ever and I
knew what it was like to not have a father so I always knew that if I ever
had a child I will make sure that did everything in my power to be with them
to make sure that I was there that presence never falling away or anything
like that just making sure I will be there but you’re right in a sense that I
didn’t understand what commitment it took to actually go through with the
whole process I knew physically I could be there and
you know and make sure I was there but what it takes to actually grow and go in
a positive direction the commitment that it takes for a relationship I didn’t
understand that what I can say is that we might help my husband said that he
was selfish I think I try to change that that I can change it I can change his
ways I was more trying not to be a girlfriend but trying to be more of a
mother or you know I was more older than him and had more experience than him so
I’m you know five years older than him so I said okay I can get this man ready
I can do this for this man I can take care of him and he will change because
he’ll love me more he would change for me and it’s just it’s not that way he is
true it’s when they’re ready to change it’s something that I had to grow up and
learn throughout the ways of him having to change what he wanted to change yeah
out of nowhere something came to me and a missive hearing hearing hearing us
here in our family and I know we’re gonna get to the scriptures in a moment
but marriage is a blessing for all of us but more so as a blessing
for the children of Israel it’s a curse now listen to what I’m saying I’m not
bringing in a negative or positive I’m just saying living in other regions of
the earth what I found what I find in these conversations is we find out what
a marriage is because we don’t have no examples we have we were never taught
what it was so we find we take years through life figuring out what it is
opposed to other cultures like when you read the Bible when you read the Bible
it begins we’re born into a family oriented scenario as the children of
Israel we are our parents are over us all the way father and mother until your
father give you away to another family that they’ve known all their lives and
the example of family is normal in the Bible and I’ve seen this living in the
Middle East how at night there’s no separation no such thing is the father
and mother going out separate you understand at night if it’s 3:00 in the
morning the father and mother is out in the children are there with them in the
coffee shop or this everything is family and they grow learning that and
expecting that and wanting that and what I what I’m seeing here is we’re still
trying to figure it out which is part of the curse that’s written up in the Bible
that’s the key problem that we’re still figuring it out because really our
family even though our fent our parents loved each other
they weren’t the example written of in Scripture they were the curse they tried
the best they could spiritual people who loved the Most High but they if we would
have had this disc if this round tables were with our mothers and fathers we’d
be hearing the same thing but even before we came if this circle
was here we’d be hearing the same thing what’s the problem between husband and
wife why is it man don’t pay attention and women get it early and all these
things and I have summarized that in a moment listening to everyone and it’s
good that we’re talking because we’re figuring it out together you understand
in this setting but all in all the realization is this is a nation being
reborn even in a nation really being real reborn have to know what are the
roles of a husband and wife because we wasn’t taught and that’s just the
reality of it and we struggle with not knowing what it was and then you then
you come of full age with certain patterns and patterns of bad behavior
and now we’re struggling with that bad behavior and we’re looking at what’s
right and saying well I know the scriptures but the old man still exists
the curse is still within me so I believe discussions like this are
important because really it is a blessing to have someone that loved you
and and that and that you know you love but we struggle with that old man and
woman and what I learned what I’m learning because life is a learning
process and I never think and I would never believe that any marriage right is
finished ever you’re growing you’re growing all the way until you know the
most I call you home but all in all I tend to believe with marriage right that it comes a time in which we have to lose
what we want marriage is a sacrifice and it’s like we have to think about what
the other person need more so then then our own cares and one
and desires and it’s hard for men to let that go more so and I think that’s the
example that Gabbar was saying you understand but this is what I realized
right in seeing older couples right in witness and older couples they tend to
understand that it’s not about changing either or they tend to understand this
is the person I love and what I’m a deem is negative about this person it’s just
what the most I have in them if this person is not sinning against God my pet
peeves cannot be an issue okay my pet peeves and what I expect this person to
be may not ever be that person but if I can cleave to the things that I know I
love in this person and not overlook the things that I don’t like but understand
that you know what the things I like the things I don’t like make up the things I
like to I can’t just have all I like and not this also and I’m just gonna use
just an example just a small funny example okay
I’ll leave the toilet seat up right okay women hate that all over the earth
that’s just an example I’m just giving you a small example uh you know just in
that and I’m too using that as an example I may do something negative but
still I’m still the person I’m still the person you care about so I so we can’t
look at the negative and have that overshadow to the point where we forget
who we love and who the most high sent to us that’s all I wanted to say on that what I wanted to say was if it is true
that women do catch on to things much faster than men and mature I guess at a
festival if you want to call it that but it’s at the same time us as men it’s not
that we’re not mature is just that I feel like I’m speak for myself
personally that I think I believe I process things different it’s an I know
right from wrong and I know what I it is that I should be doing but if you’re as
a woman in any relationship instead of you know saying you’re doing this wrong
you need to do this this dis dis this I believe it’s the way that you come to
your husband or your spouse about situations it’s not that weird not it’s
just that we’re processing internally things different so when we’re ready to
change we’re gonna get there because we already know what it is as a man that we
have to do for our households but once you come and start
I want something nagging but you know being hostile towards it like you still
ain’t did this or you need to do this or when you gonna change you ain’t gonna
never learn it’s just aspect and how you approach your relationship like how
because that negative that instead of being a comforter it’s more we fill in a
tank it’s now okay I’m trying to change but now it’s like you know your hinder
it’s like us like almost like a stone like like you’re hindering me like so
that’s all that’s all I got to say I believe communication is the big key and
relate do you agree or this is there any man to disagree in regards of oh I’m
mature just as quick as a woman I’ve been mature I think that’s a myth that’s
nonsense does any man disagree with that get some air in here cuz I got to go
home tonight keep this room I had this theory in my mind that when you’re
dating your woman or you getting to learn her there’s a difference of being
somebody’s man and somebody’s husband I believe that they are not the same then
no equal your mentality your how you interpret
things from your wife or your significant other your mindset needs to
change I had to figure that out sooner for my wife because my mindset was that
I wanted to be married I’m ready to be married well okay but I know I’m dealing
with a different woman here and even though I know all women are different in
some ways but my woman I knew I had to fix me in some way so when I mean by
that is I had to be more observant to learn so the maturity how I looked at
that is if I paid more attention I would be more mature how to deal with
something in regards to how she would respond just like this young brother
said here when she would come at me if I was doing something wrong or she went
like how I was doing it I was more concerned preparing myself okay when I’m
like when I’m a-gettin you understand what I’m saying so I had to not always
sense okay wait for the punch just wait for what is said yeah I don’t know that
makes sense enough because once again we still had to live together and if we
won’t live – guy have to find ways many ways not one thing work this day the
next day could be something different so it was like a boxing match not meaning
saying that was always bad times but bad or good every day was something
different so I had to be prepared for what and how to receive and then respond
I I hope that so if I hear you correctly so you’re saying that sometimes certain
man gets stereotyped with not being mature because they are taking the time
to marry this woman and you women will take that you’re not ready to for
marriage because you’re immature but that’s not the case
not at all time not all time because every man is different because they up
grimaced some men been brought up what they father’s around their experiences
like my brother over here you know you he realized he had a a child at a young
age so that kind of like forced him to be a little bit more mature than he said
if he would have waited when until he was 25 yeah okay yeah so you’re saying
that is not fair to typecast all men or not being much not really being slower
and maturing than women that’s not always the case
no it’s okay it can’t be if that’s not it’s literally on literally on unfair
yeah it’s unfair yes okay do you think there’s been some taken
advantage of that stigma in some cases yes yeah because I French from me my
case I would make I would immature yes I was younger than my wife I don’t know
what the heck she would I was telling I don’t know what you was thinking babe do
you know I didn’t get it I don’t get you I was out there running around and I I
don’t get it right so in my case clearly I’m mature because I was younger I was
running around party the one had a good time and you know so my case I could say
yes I it was not you know me hesitating because I wanted to do it right it was I
wasn’t ready could I view that marriage are you saying you’re saying your case
was not the case I think it’s what it is is using the word immature loosely right
because it depends on what we’re talking about
you wasn’t immature I mean it was it was you were worldly right like for instance
it’s like this I don’t believe women well if you look at this world women or
girls mature before men in this world why when we grow up a young girl is
playing the house she planned she’s doing things with Ken and Barbie she’s
making the bed she’s doing things that that will lead to her being what a
caregiver for the house so in that area okay
she’s mature based on the world’s perspective right but when I look at it
when I look at it young men young men who are intellectual who grow who read
who do all the things right graduate they’re not it’s not that the woman is
more mature than no no they’re the same place intellectually sometimes to some
degree of men men is actually more intelligent but it depends on how we’re
looking at it from a world perspective now what we have the I believe the
imbalance is there’s more women that graduate and be educated and do certain
things that that will lead it’s an imbalance but to say that men women of
mature before men I believe is incorrect but I do but I know I know for sure that
we define worldly as immature when you can have an intelligent man and that she
can see intelligence right but she’s willing to wait for it but you’re still
worldly so that was the example she see who you are now and she sees it before
we see it you understand so it wasn’t that you were immature you were still
worldly you didn’t want to stop but who you are was always there what you read
what you study even when we were up in UPK the intelligence it took that link
precepts and be a good man she sees it already but it was just but on the other
hand we see it in the world today where you can have a man that’s ready and a
woman that’s worldly a man can see all these intelligence he sees a potential
and all that but she wants the streets she wanna drink
she still wanna party she don’t want no baby she want to take birth control
because she won a party it’s not in the mana city and he’ll he’ll work through
all that because it might man she’s bad she’s pretty you know I mean you know
big and you’ve seen her in her vulnerable moments and you know who she
is but you know what according to this world she’s immature no you know she’s
not immature she could be a good woman but she’s worldly right so I’m I just
want to make sure we we distinguish between the two because I don’t believe
that women mature before men okay I believe men mature in one way and women
mature another way it’s the world that please either side and say and say well
this is greater than that in a man or this is greater than that in a woman
when the most time made us different there will be no need for a man and a
woman if we were to say the whole point about it is the difference is not here
understand but it’s it’s either side and we all are still learning this to
respect the difference and not take it as an enemy
no that’s the difference that’s what the most I put in this man this aggression
and what’s in him is not abusive because if somebody come up in this house I’m
gonna need that aggression you understand so it’s how we interpret
things and and we’re still learning each other hey I’m still learning and we have
to be honest about that that we’re still learning this we are the children of
Israel in exile working everything out getting to know everything it have to be
honest with ourselves we can have all the scriptures and understand and we
want but we just out of all the years of captivity where the people have chest
began to get it and understand it and a willing to say you know what Lord
with me with this okay I don’t want to fight who you bless me with I don’t know no we
don’t want that even anymore so the understanding is that that I feel is to
know that and and a woman can’t look at a man and say well you should have been
this way or should do this way because why she’s a woman
and there’s nurturing ways according to the scriptures of how they get a man to
see what she sees and I believe that’s vice versa it I believe that we can’t
deal with the friction that comes with resolution there have to be another way
according to scriptures to get to a resolution and I believe more so it’s
prayer and it’s communication and and I lack in communication being so busy and
dealing with everything I want to do but still we have to understand the
importance I believe the importance of communicating that whatever that is so
that so that either side don’t make assumptions and start believing
something it’s not you and your honest thing what I’m saying I just wanted to
put that out there I’m sorry I had a comment that was sitting on I was
listening in the elder of a car talking out of a bar and I just want to say
first you know this is a kingdom building conversation because you know
as we we taught earlier and in dealt with in the wilderness that was an issue
with families and constantly you know the marital issues that was in there so
a bill of divorcement whitney play right but here’s the thing the reason why i
raised my hand about disagreeing about the maturity factor is because i grew up
with that example where elder was was speaking about where the parents would
take the children i remember no matter what if it was work listen it must have
been child labor laws because i was working when i
five you know my father worked in the school boards so when it was time in the
summertime the work I was cleaning classrooms with him you understand and
moms was right there too and my brother was right there too so I never seen the
dysfunction that a lot of our families are plagued with you understand so
therefore when I met my wife I was already ready to be married at a young
age at a 17 at at 18 because it really that was the example that was the only
way for me you understand but then I like to digress and go back to when I
look at it I seen the Holy Spirit and my mother and I seen the father and my
father you understand so now went as I got older and I learnt the teachings of
what the Bible was it was easy for me to understand so when we say like okay the
sisters they mature at a certain age or things of that understand what they were
made after they were made after the after wisdom after a walk after the Holy
Spirit so a lot of things like for me I I took a leadership role when I first
met my wife you know when we were court in those years I was more so mentor and
then giving her advice and doing those things I was working full time so I was
kind of established at that time but then as we started to get older together
she was like babe what about this what about that and the one thing that I can
say like in a relationship brothers even though we’re called to be leaders never
cut your wisdom our wives are that wisdom that’s really you know they say
it in the world yeah behind every good man is a good woman
we’ll look there’s a Testament in this room look at elders wives look at the
sisters that are behind the men that are actually running the church they are
just as sharp if not as sharp as we are you understand and that’s really the
thing when we talk about also Marian you also have to mare
with similar you understand to your goal to what it is it’s like look if I could
put a mail me in my wife’s you know attire she would run the church the same
way I would you understand so you have to realize like these things I don’t I
don’t think it’s a maturity factor of males we mature at this rate or women
mature at this rate but it’s a whole spiritual thing if we come to a
spiritual understanding and we both understand at that same wavelength like
it says in Ciroc 25 a man and a woman that agree together is beautiful and
precious in the sight of the Most High so we have to understand it’s not about
seeing the differences but understanding what that helpmate is there to help you
it like for me I’m the more outgoing of me and my wife my wife is the more
silent observant you understand but I had to learn that because I busted up
with everybody and I don’t know if I look across the room and my wife giving
me the eyes she’s like okay am i off settle down you understand yeah hey you
understand so she’s what really helped me in those situations but even that it
took me years to recognize that you understand in the beginning I was like
oh you know hey I’m the man I got to make the decisions every argument I’m
right but no and I’m gonna tell you sisters the power that you guys have the
example that’s in first Peter 3 is in the submission you guys are is
intelligent and powerful and strong enough to do what we do but the power is
in seeing that wisdom let the Most High work in and with that man so that’s
really the point that I wanted to bring out because I was hearing things and I’m
like listen I understand that the gaps that we have by not seeing the examples
and growing up in them but I grew up with the example so I don’t know
anything outside of a righteous example of what it is to be married and what it
is to stick together in bad times when you’re broke when you’re financially
destitute when you need to cleave I know what it’s like and keep in mind brothers
especially the brothers that come into that may get a wife and she already have
kids and things like that well guess what it’s like the people see me and my
father and they’re like man he looked just like you you know that’s not my
biological father but he’s the only father I ever knew so when I was young
he took the responsibility of rear and to boys as his own so therefore when you
see that man you when I when you see him I’m a mirror image of that man segue
into another part of what Gabbar said earlier and how the Lord
bring it around how women may look at look at the positions of the church and
say well what is a woman’s role y’all can be deacons elders y’all can be this
so that in the other what about us that whole mentality have been learnt
behavior we’ve learned as people under the curse and let me explain what I’m
saying it tell us in Romans 1 in 20 mm-hmm it tell us that we can know the
you weaken the invisible is seen by what we see in earth every day male and
female so we are an image of the most high on earth male and female right now
we know the Holy Spirit works we know she works in function with a higher and
the son Yeshua but you would never hear the Holy Spirit anyplace in scriptures
say what’s my position because she know the position of the father
she knows the position of the Sun but guess what none of it works without her
you understand so the most I set up men in position for
a reason the reason because he seemed eventually
and impending war and from the beginning there was a war and men are gonna have
to be in position to lead this war ready or not but there’s no great man without
a great woman that’s our function when when people when people see a man out
there he’s looking right he’s dressing right according to the most time he’s
sharp he’s strong who dressed him who told him take off those shoes and put on
those shoes who say well no you sometimes you’re long-winded why don’t
you break it down this way or check out this scripture to go here with it
y’all don’t see that the same way you didn’t see the Holy Spirit fashion the
mountains and design the whole earth we gave all glory to the Most High
but the function works together now that’s one thing another thing is what
still being able to show appreciation and I think that’s where those questions
come in not that a woman is not recognized because the church couldn’t
go on without it but sometimes brothers and sisters and sisters would like to
say who would like to hear listen job well done you are appreciated too but
understand that there will never be a function and there’s nothing wrong with
that there will never be a female function in an administration for a
church that was established with all men the same way you will never see a man’s
function as the elder Widow over the young virgins it’s us appreciate
appreciation appreciated excuse me who the Lord made us
and not fill our negative concern in a position
we weren’t born to be it and that’s male or female somewhere
somewhere along the way and it’s a curse according to the Scriptures that an
envious spirit have come in with men against women and women against men and
I said it last night on a radio we need each other I don’t know where this stuff
come in where we look at a man’s position or a woman position and say why
can’t I do that that’s this world that’s this world but
women should be more appreciated and our wives should be more appreciated because
this work couldn’t be without them I just wanted to John how elder was
talking about the curses and all I could see out of her car yeah I could see how
long growing up could play a big part of it you know a woman not having a father
and never been you know had that discipline by a father and then when she
gets you know it’s a relationship you know she don’t know how to reverence a
man the way you know she made it just seen a mom you know a couple you know
men in their life and and the same thing with a widow with her brother you know
he wasn’t close to his mother you know you don’t know how to deal with a woman
and you know speaking of myself being a mother’s man you know I like I’m off I
had that example growing up parents been married for thirty years and you know I
I could see the effect it could have without having it you know us going into
the curse so a lot of our men is out of the picture and that woman being there
to gird up and kind of take our roles because you know just going into the
Willie Lynch letter men are scared of that guy accountability and you know I’m
on yeah I just wanted to throw out there a lot of times too with the things that
we learn and we don’t learn the differences in our families and the ages
when I was 18 years old I was married by the time I was 18 and like elder Riccar
said I was brought up in a Christian home so I had to jump on things I was
ready to take care of a home and I didn’t understand why my mate wasn’t
even though he was doing things out there I just assumed he would come in
and do the same thing but in this arena we all have learned
that we need to keep the commandments we have all learned the Scriptures yet
between Ella Kabam my husband and I the counseling that we’re having to give
these same people are the same counseling that I needed to give my
husband back then and that’s the problem those little
foxes that are in our marriages that the same thing that I fell in love with him
for having now I can’t stand you know so it’s what is going wrong in our
marriages that I can’t put up with you you can’t put up with me we can’t
compromise what’s going on in our holy Hebrew marriages that we’re having to
counsel people and certificates of divorce out for people who say they love
the Most High God and they’re walking in the commandments what’s missing you know
what that’s a good question a very good question
but it I think it goes back to the lesson we had while the talk we had and
you know what every time we we talk every time we have those broadcasts and
I told God when the camera came off when all yes I’m teaching and I’m before the
camera but I’m learning it at the same time you understand there’s certain
things that may come out of them often sake man I need to do that this is
because our going to scriptures and precepts it be like man it reminds me
and it reaches me the whole deal that the whole deal I see is and here’s the
deep thing about it it’s more it’s harder for me to receive you telling me
what’s wrong with me no no no this is what I’m saying
husband and wife right you’re telling me what’s right but I’m not listening I’m
not getting it I’m telling you what I can see is right
but you’re not getting it so it’s disappoint where we can’t receive from
each other why you will have to tell me if you ever deal with this situation you
will say something right good or bad and the person who you love and trust won’t
get it from you but if someone else say it and you will sit there and look at it
and you know you said the same thing last week and they’ll say yeah that was
deep and I’m you looking like okay I don’t care long as you got it but so
what is that what is that well you can hear from someone else but not the
person who the Lord sent to protect you and guide you and will be with you to
the end and I’m not gonna say it’s good or bad it’s it’s a reality and the
reality is you can’t receive from someone you mad at that’s the reality of
it I don’t got to do it right or wrong the spirit is this this this there’s a
someone is upset here and people can’t receive from people they’re mad at it’s
just the way it is they’re not mad at that person who just came in and said
what you say it last week so I was you know and uh you know and it’s not about
blaming anything it’s about talking about it and saying you know what I’m
gonna examine myself with the scriptures I’m gonna take the scriptures and
examine myself with them and then communicate when there’s a breakthrough
that I recognize that there was a breakthrough that the Most High showed
me I need to do this better because the other half I mean on either side
which is like to know we’re getting it right so hey it’s a nation and let me
tell you this is not only happening to us now that I look at it the whole world
the whole world as its suffering our curse is now it’s being reversed now
while we’re coming out of it trying to resolve who we are the nations are now
confused concerning marriage when they used to be the example so I mean it’s
good to even talk about it even you know you know it’s good to talk about it and
when it comes to the younger brothers and sisters like I can only as teachers
say well okay y’all may look at the relationships and say you know what we
desire that and it’s good because it’s good to see examples but if I was to go
back to 17 16 18 if I had a chance to do it differently younger I would have
chose better to get to where I am now right
so your young brothers and sisters who are looking in the marriage you would
say okay you have an opportunity to meet someone and say I can’t turn this person
into who I would I I see them 10 or 15 years from now we don’t have enough time
for that don’t look at a person that’s cute or
guy looking at a girl because you may have a nice body or something and let
that be the defining moment according to the flesh
concerning a life decision you’re gonna have to say hold up what do this person
or first of all what do I want according to the most time and does this person
love the Most High and find out what they want according to the most time so
that you’re not equally yoked the answer to your question is why are you dealing
with these consoles is because we’re dealing are we always deal with
unequally yoked scenarios one person who want one thing and another person want
the other and are not honest to say they’re not honest about
it that’s what it is you’re unequally yoked you know what you
did this woman wants to do certain things
this brother will want to do certain things and you’re frustrated because you
love this person this is the person you chose well that should have been the
conversation first exactly now you’re in a situation due to circumstance and
obligation when really you both both of you wanted to separate things and wasn’t
honest with each other so if I had to go back early back with the wisdom I have
now I would say I would I would say well listen what do you want with the most
time what is your idea of a family according to the most high so that I’ll
know whether or not you know cuz you can get someone someone cute or with a nice
body you can get that anywhere okay but what happens when you grow old when you
start to lose all that you’re not going to have all that forever so we you young
brothers and sisters have to sit back and understand that listen you have to
make a decision and say this is what I want for the most our long-term and I’m
not going to fight with you to get there I rather us be together in it all the
way I don’t want no no inroads or fighting with you to get from point A to
point B so become equally yoked from the beginning and the most high will you can
wait in the most I will still send someone before you that your heart
desires he’ll give you all the little cute things that that’s what it takes
but be patient and make sure you get the cute person or whatever with goals in
the truth with goals with who has a separate relationship from the Most High
that’s not following the most table because you are and that’s key but
that’s the truth and I know I got to turn this over but
that’s very good information for those of you that are out there seeking a
husband or a wife but for those of us that have where the church has already
put the certificate of divorce in the shredder we have to figure out now
what’s going on in elder Rock I believe you hit it on the head we’re angry
what are we angry at from our spouses that we can’t receive from him or we
can’t forgive her for the idiosyncrasies that come just in everyday life you know
I’m like my husband comes in the door we’re sitting around talking and I’ll
say yeah right I’m busy like the Holy Spirit running all over
the place minute what time is it he’ll say it but
I’ve already gone somewhere else I don’t hear it 10 minutes late Linda what time
is I told you what time it was you know it could go from there into something
that could be a full-fledged argument in 10 minutes
in my defense I just want to say that I’ve learned I’ve learned I’ve learned
throughout my years that the way you communicate with your spouse is so
important I used to have mad days Tuesday and Thursday you know literally
and you know through the spirit I don’t have those mad days and when I feel
myself losing you know I’ll go to the scripture hug my wife pray together and
all as well so we all have to do the same thing God he does apologize a lot
he does but I wanted to say this real quick
right and I have to practice this myself the Bible tells us what communication
forget not so the whole thing is you know what you know what what what builds
resentment that I’ve seen in my experience is to see something wrong and
know what’s wrong and don’t say anything I just hold it back and just build
layers and build cases against each other and listen but when you see it but
but when you see it’s wrong like the brother said earlier over there it’s
hollow to it is how to relay your disdain without it being friction and we
read it in the scriptures the other night last night if one is overtaken in
a fault restore such a one in the spirit of meekness considering thyself lest
thou also be tempted so in a nutshell you can get more bees with honey right
instead of Judas and you this or but no matter what always taking I’m like
myself I get upset I may say something that I regret but it’s more so it more
so say you know what it’s considering yourself in any situation and say you
know what I love you and this is how this this and this affects me this is
how it affects me and you guess what like Gabbar said earlier you know men
sometimes are hard-headed you know what I tried it this way no you got to keep
trying it that way right um this is how it affects me you know I love you and
this is how it affects me you understand and I’m gonna love you but I’m not gonna
let I’m not gonna I’m not gonna I’m gonna always love you and I’m gonna be
behind you I love you but I love you and this is how it
affects me and in spirit of meekness that’ll prick one’s heart you understand
but if it’s boom and and either of us come like this then we can expect
someone else to come like this right being defensive or why are you always
that it’s that never that’s the spirit that Satan would like and it never
solves anything it doesn’t change what the person will do but if you if if we
can articulate and communicate how something affects us in the spirit of
meekness it’s a breakthrough that that’s been the more times where I have
received correction when someone came to me in the spirit and which I could
receive it anyone but if you come in this way then I’m not I’m not gonna
receive it that way I’m not gonna I’m not gonna be like changed because either
way like if I come like if some brother or sister come abrasive or negative to
you you’re not gonna respond with hold up you care about me here and I think
that we it’s learnt behavior we have in the world we believe we can tell
somebody to do something they’re gonna do it it doesn’t work that that way we
have to want to do it because we care okay and I wanted to put that out there
it’s it’s our responses we can be a person can be dead right in their
observation but go about correcting the wrong way yes yes yes and that’s any of
us that’s any of us and in relationship that’s what makes it even more abrasive
it’s because what yeah what you’re saying is right but I’m not feeling I’m
not feeling this okay so now it’s two wrongs now when really it’s it’s really
about communication and what the right thing and you know we have two more so
pray together you know Christ says that we not weak
render evil for evil we overcome the evil with good
if you see something evil okay I’m gonna use something good on you I’ll break you
with good no man we need to exercise that more I need to exercise it more
okay yielding again every time I do Family
Council one of my things that I do I like to meet with the husband separately
from the wife and meet the wife separate from the husband to kind of see
what makes him tick and what I you know and let’s just give you the statistics
out there as the Israelites in the Diaspora you know within the so-called
black and Latino community okay one out of four boys and girls
okay get molested as two as little children okay I think by the age of 21
or 24 the average African American Latino male has been to the correctional
facility and by the age of 21 okay has a record already okay ah 51 percent
unemployment okay 50 percent underemployment okay so and we as
children of Israel began across church we’re not immune to that and also to
Gentiles that have come among us as well so one thing I hear a lot within the
council is and one thing I notice is that when I speak to the man when I
speak to the sister once I get to know who they are they upbringing their
father their mother or the lack thereof they grew up in a in a shelter didn’t
grow up in and you know in different homes or their uncle grew up raised them
because their mother was a drug addict or things that nature I’m able to
sympathize a little better and understand because in a minute I hear
she did what he did what but once I get talked to them I could sympathize and I
could say okay now I get to the root of it but the quick but the flip side to
that is some what I notice is that people are defined
by their path and they use that as a clutch or Satan gets into their brain
your this way because look at what happened to you as a little boy or a
little girl look what you’ve been to so that becomes the identity and they’re
their thing so I want to just talk about I want to hear people’s I don’t call the
elder and the panel how much does your environment affects you or are we given
too much power to our environment to use you know you know go to those
experiences always used as an excuse all the things I cannot overcome bent
because I grew up in welfare I could not overcome this because I never went to
college I couldn’t overcome this because look at
what happened to my mom or my dad might not my mom was never there a mom you
know my mam mom and dad was never there I grew up in this how much power we
giving into that and how much did you revive me I’m gonna give you a friend
you know my wife is here you know how mother was you know died of
drugs you know she never took drugs one of her sisters did and it’s over going
to overcoming that situation and these are things that you know we talked about
it in the radio show and things s it’s not a secret so how much this your
environment does affect you are we giving too much power to that so I want
you to call anyone talk to me if anybody has you know a comment or question on
that or anybody when the panel wants a comment on that I grew up in poverty and
not having forced me and everybody in my family to say we better get a job we
better work and by 13 I was out lying telling people I was 17 working on a
real job so you know it can’t but then you’ll see other people that grew up in
poverty that moved right into the welfare system and got stuck on that
train I just wanted to respond to what elder Riccar was saying
previously I can say that I grew up in a home that my parents were divorced my
father was very much a part of my life and he’s actually the only person other
than my husband that I ever submitted to what happened later though is I went
into college joined a sorority got shaped by the world coming into marriage
I’ve been married for 11 years now but early on there was a complete lack of
respect my husband and I probably he met we met when I was in medical school he
was in Business School so intellectually we were on the same in the same space
difference being we were in the world we didn’t have the tools that we have now
and like I said I found out later into the marriage when we went through our
trials that there was a lack of respect on my part like you know I had my own
money I have ability to do this not realizing how important he was to me or
he is to me as a husband as a provider as a teacher but in responding to how to
come to him with issues I watched him very closely there’s a time and a place
there’s a time for me to be quiet and listen I watch I pay attention to
everything that’s going on when he explains his day to me he’s in a very
high-pressure job that’s not the time sometimes when he’s out baptizing I
noticed that there may be spirits that come back with him that’s not the time
that’s the time for me to pray for him and what’s most important is if there’s
something serious something that I need a response to I go into prayer
beforehand and I come to him with a scripture what I noticed in a lot of the
men that are part of the church especially with my he loves the Most
High and he is most responsive when I come to him with scriptures and that’s
how I get done at home when I need a response or
when there’s something that we need to resolve but I just wanted to add that
how much of your environment shapes you and we are defined by that real quick I
just wanted to to hit on that because it’s like for me I you know I grew up in
in you know a house with a stable home and I had older brother and me and him
are night and day I mean I don’t know how many parents are in the room that
have children in the same environment in the same variable in the same setting
some of them are in the truth some of them are in the truth so it
can’t be I’m a product of my environment because that would dictate the fact that
we have perfect homes or good homes in all the people that were subject to the
homework in the same scenario so it’d have to be with that individual or that
spirit you know overcome in whatever environment they were in it’s just like
every individual if you look at every child if you got a child they’re all
different you understand and they have they have to have a want to to come up
out of whatever situation they’re in to overcome so I think you know to be
direct I think that yeah we give too much of our environment it becomes an
excuse or a crutch I can’t be great because of this well if that’s the case
if we look back in the Bible look at our four parents oh look at how they fell
we’ll never be the nation we’re supposed to be so our environment and what we’ve
been through is not the excuse of why we can’t be great what has to be is us
persevering through there and actually season the opportunity in the moment
that we have and not looking back as the Bible says remember Lot’s wife not
looking back but looking forward to what the Messiah is doing here and I think
yet again a discussion like this is the beginning of good things to come because
this is a foundation of what we need you know to
actually build those mindsets that need to be made
elder Gabbar you were saying something about how you figure out things after a
after a conflict separating the man from the woman right I believe that’s an
issue in itself I’m gonna tell you why when someone is baptized that’s the
point that they lay down the things that are from the past and if there is a
fault they’re struggling with that’s supposed to be dealt with and talked and
counseled with with the elder you shouldn’t have to find the conflict
later in a marriage scenario we shouldn’t when we have an orientation
and a baptism is in it’s not I’m not blaming anything I’m just saying that
it’s it’s also about the fact that we hide and it’s not the perfect and you
have to realize the brothers and sisters when a spirit is overtaking or dilling
its greatest power its concealment so I know a lot of us don’t want to say
anything concerning our past due to the shame we think will come from it you
understand but either way the Spirit is gonna come out and reveal itself ugly
every time minitor concealed itself again and it’s some of what we went
through as children we are afraid to talk about it but when baptism happens
before baptism this is where the husband or the wife is supposed to come to the
elder and say this is what happened to me as a child therefore you can be
guided because now the elder will understand how to construct certain
lessons that can help everyone without even pointing you out to overcome those
things you understand and then you’re learning with your husband and wife vice
versa in the church how to overcome that spirit where
you don’t have to worry about it coming out in conflict between husband and wife
it’s already been dealt with from from the infancy levels level of baptism
scene I’m saying it’s like fact-finding afterwards because we hide things like
you can have a people who I don’t know if y’all deal with this we’ve dealt with
this in the church where a brother and sister we’re having issues because one
don’t believe and the other do believe but yet they come in at truth and found
out they’re married not realizing there was a reason they weren’t married
according to the world before they came in they plan on splitting a long time
ago circumstance just kept them together but now they’re in the truth and they’ve
like we marry right I don’t like him he don’t like me I want to go this way and
he definitely want to go the other way and you’re telling me that I can’t have
someone else so that’s something else we deal with here but it but what I’m
saying is that they have to be a way when brothers and sisters are coming in
for them for them to be totally honest concerning their situation you
understand so that these battles you know so we’ll have fewer of those you
have people that are dealing and that’s why we had to correct the thing that
just dealing with someone isn’t marriage like the Israelite way the father have
to agree the father must be an integral part in saying listen you were ok for my
daughter it has to be the father don’t have anything to at a church first it
has to be the family agreeing to accept you into their family and also another
thing we have to talk about going forward is dowry because there’s a
certain level of obligation a man have when he have to pay for something
the father be like yeah you can have her will you work at how much do you have
you still want to marry her in Egypt there’s a thing where a person cannot
marry anyone you can’t even go to the Father the Egyptians unless you already
have a certain amount of money on top of the money you’re gonna give him and an
apartment or a flat or a house already for his daughter to move in you can’t
even come and say hello until you have those things first so so so the whole
thing is that’s where the diary came in that a lot of issues can be solved
through the law it’s not about you liking this guy because he cute he’s a
man of the most high and he no precepts not can he take care you to the end is
he willing to pay your father for you in an agreement it was the way deeper than
money oh oh you want Rachel work seven years let me see how much you love my
daughter and sisters have to value yourselves as such you are worth way
more than what the world is willing to give for you you have to think about
that Rachel Rachel Aliyah was your mother he worked seven years for Rachel
and then got Leah and then worked seven years for Leah so you are the daughters
of Zion you have that you have to don’t lowball yourself and say well listen you
know he did a job interview coming up not the father gotta say listen you got
to be ready to take care of my daughter I got to know when I give it to you
she’s strength not just for noun for life are you willing to make that
sacrifice and then that’ll be a man that’s gonna step up to the plate what
you want sir I’m going to get it see now that’s a working relationship it started
with the working relationship and obligation
from the beginning right so that’s where the law comes in at where the law is
good okay just a comment on what Oh dhergabar said
actually out of a car and both elder and moths had kind of went into what I was
going to say but um Oh toka bar had commented on our people
going through things as kids and being abused and you go you get baptized you
coming to the truth you say alright I’m a new person
I can let this go and sometimes being start to creep in without you knowing
without you realizing and it affects the marriage I have to be heard because when
I was a child I was being abused I wasn’t hurt so now he has to hear what
I’m saying when nobody heard me when I was a kid
and sometimes your spouse doesn’t understand that because you got a good
mom and a good dad maybe a mom and your dad wasn’t ones who
abuse you so they don’t see that and that’s something that you have to check
and that’s something that you have to see and I believe that if we allow
spirits to come in and temper with our minds about things that happened when we
were kids just like elder a month and odo Ricard was saying it will really
bring your marriage down if we don’t see it and we don’t check it for ourselves
even just being touched a certain way whoa hey yo relax why you touching me
like that me a husband why can’t I that she loves me he loves you he’s not gonna
hurt you he loves you gonna do nothing to hurt you that’s his way of showing
affection we have to check that mentally and I know it’s not sometimes always the
women who go through that’s the men too even that that’s happened to them so um
just to make it short agreement with elder and Mithen older Ricardo toka bar
moving forward checking that spirit when it comes to
you and it tries to hinder you check it see it move on let it go in a lot of
ways I do think we gave the world way too much credit because when I was in
the world I was on ICU and I thought I was perfectly fine but I needed a
spiritual IVAC and it took me a while to really examine
myself to see the flaw inside myself and see what I needed to overcome in order
to be to take it to that next level or take it to that next stage to grow as a
person as an individual right and then you know the world just it throws so
many distractions out there just to keep you from knowing yourself and who you
are right so we can’t allow the world to
dictate the spirit that the most high gave us and that spirit of love is what
he wants to say in senshu 8 because that fear and that pain that baggage we got
to check that a lot of us were still we’ve been traveling accumulating
baggage our whole life and we’ve never checked it so at what point are we gonna
check that baggage and just and leave it in that water so based off what the
elders were saying I think when I was hearing out there talk about you know
all the outlets about immaturity and all these different things whether women
mature faster or all this other stuff to me was it was how I was receiving it was
like it’s it really comes down to choice and even the and I was said it was just
said with other words and even with the so-called bill of divorcement before I
was ever said the saying Moses who did the bill of divorcement you know said I
set before you life and death choose the life right so that’s what I really
wanted to say and also you know with that choice you got to be faithful in
that choice or okay and also for for those who are doing the courting I
forgot to mention when I introduced myself that while I’ve been married for
five years we were actually me and my wife joy we were courting for like two
to three years online because we met through YouTube
I’m as you all know from the UK she’s from California so the courting process
you understand is really like really really important for y’all to who ever
are dealing with courting to actually go through that and be honest with yourself
like the elders were mentioning choose life and be faithful in it and know what
you’re actually choosing and for those that are married like the brothers and
sisters I’ll be mentioning like the elders have been reminding us just
remind yourself of that choice that’s all I wanted to say one thing I would
like to say that I’ve been learning and something I’ve learned from the church
in the past year and I have is the power of self-examination cuz I think one
thing that we have to understand is honesty and hard communication when I
say hard communication when you could tell your spouse or the person you’re
dealing with that you’re wrong and the reason why I say self-examination
because it’s very important to know yourself and I reflect on the very last
example with Jenny um when sometimes when I wake up I wake over like a
headache so sometimes I don’t like to talk for like the first 15 or 20 minutes
and I’m very talking it so when Jenny would keep calling my name and calling
my name it’s very very very annoying to me so like I would wake up and I would
like when I wake up I can’t you just stop can you just stop but then like a
later in the day I was like you know what I apologize and I actually thank
you cuz first off you know me and the reason why he was calling me at that
magnitude because you knew how important without it was the baptism and my
brother was getting baptized and she knew that I would really go and I
wouldn’t miss it even if I was bleeding out my limbs so she was like get up get
up get up and I’m like you I have a headache
I have it I have a headache so I just say that you ought to know yourself
because an elder Hamas you did burn it out in the slander lesson we don’t write
those wrongs we always slander somebody and never write those wrongs so I went
to her and I said y’all continue to do that whatever I say is annoying go ahead
keep going cuz you know me and you know what I wanted to do and you know it’s
important but if I didn’t write that wrong how has she received correction
from me because as elder Riccar brought out you’re not gonna receive something
from somebody or upset about so I think the hard communication like things you
don’t want to I admit you gotta say things that you
you got a self reflect and examine yourself once you do that it’s gonna be
peaches and lollipops so far for that I’ve been seeing all praises to the
Mozart so any other any last words just make sure you pray for our safe ride
back you know and we you know if you don’t mind we can say the Lord’s Prayer
in the midst of this so that we can have a safe trip and angels can come the
storm and all right but I also want to say before we do that to say you know
what it’s okay to say in our relationships husband to wife or wife to
husband I apologize I’m sorry you understand we can’t harden our hearts
you understand because when it comes down to it who’s really gonna be in your
corner it’s going with it all let me tell you that’s your first line of
defense that’s it first Elder records now I’m gonna probably be 30 miles away
somewhere when it when it all go down I hope we’re together but that’s gonna
be your first line of defense you’re that person next to you so it’s okay
it’s okay to say you know what I love you and I’m sorry you understand we
can’t have hard hearts you understand and like I said yes I’m an elder of a
church but I’m a child of the Most High and I’m ever learning and and none of us
are above reproach and and I believe that this is the generation we’re the
generation who can help fix it to say okay then I’m gonna say Shalom and
your present been a blessing from the Hangout from the health conversations
with the wall this is what gather it is all about please give me the strip with
my eyes two balls show me

Michael Martin

77 Responses

  1. All Praises be unto AHAYAH in the name of YASHAYA ha Mashayach wa RAWACH Qadash! Thawadah! Thank you! May The Most High Bless you all for your good works! Keep it up please! We love you all!

  2. I want to make a request for the topic of relationships/marriages to be covered more often. This was great

  3. Men having thier heels stuck in the dirt is soooo true so we take the lead so we don't fall but then you try to give the torch back to the man and usually he still knows nothing

  4. All praises to The Most High!! This is a very good discussion. What a blessing for all the wisdom and knowledge thawadah thawadah eldersπŸ‘πŸ’–

  5. Giving All the glory to The Most High God and the savior with the Holy spirit πŸ“šπŸ“–πŸ“šβ€πŸ’›πŸ’šRespect Elders and Deacons!!πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™

  6. The sistes at the beginning had dropped some real true tools/ jewels!!! about choosing and seeing a man has a diamond in the rough!!! And so is ELDER RAWCHAA!!!πŸ™πŸΏβ˜πŸΎ

  7. right on time as i am searching the scriptures, and guidance in prayer trying to understand my marriage and how things can be better for us. without TMH, I have nothing. so I'm trying to get those around me to put HIM at the forefront of their lives so our family's life can be better. I am fighting my own demons and am out of order, so naturally on down the line, my entire house is out of order. so I request prayer and may AHAYAH bless and keep u all in what is to come and always

  8. All praise to Ahayah Asher Ahayah I have been praying about how we need more talks about Family (marriage) I am not married but I do pray for an Adam but not just any Adam.

    I pray for a Adam that obay the Laws and can bring the authority that is needed I don't want to fight about as a believer in the Most High what the Word of The Almighty says and your opinion come to Sabbath class with me read the Bible with my son and keep the Holy days with us that The Most High set for us

    If you say God and Jesus that's fine but the Word of God is still black and white it does not change because you call The father God and his son are big brother Jesus

  9. It's hard to know for sure who The Most High set in your life when you are trying your best to follow the truth because I can not as a woman and a mother be with someone that don't put Ahayah And Yashya 1st

  10. I enjoy being by myself Ahayah have bless me with a life I can not provide for my self all by myself without bring sin through my door All prasies To Ahayah Asher Ahayah BaHaSham Yashya and Rawch Qadash

  11. I have been with the same man for 28 yrs. The crazy thing is we have never been married and we don't have children together, but we have a good relationship, we laugh and joke around and have a good time. He works hard to take care of us and so do i

  12. Thawada and APTTMH for this Discussion I’m preparing for Marriage in December of this year and I’ve always wanted to know what are the True Roles of Husbands and Wives I’m Hoping to find a GOCC in The Chicago area. Shalawam Elders

  13. So profound. So informational. All praises to Ahayah Bahashem Yashayah was Rawach! Barak Athum and Thawada for all of this information

  14. If I was to talk about my marriage then it would seem negative, But the elder is really right they can be worldly. My experience I went well beyond my wife when I came to the truth I literally stopped everything the day I found out the truth. But my wife tried but stayed the same and got worse as time went on but because I love her I still try with her. Most high knows where this will go cause in my mind I think it’s ok to leave but it might be the wrong move

  15. Ahayah Asher Ahayah
    Girls are with out a dalt more mature than boys but men become the logical thinkers having balance to lead a nation while woman struggle with emotions until we learn how to create balance within self. We are all worldly when we we reflect the system program and our change begins when we see the world in Ahayah written truth. Man are born with certain ingredients and women were born with many others when we come together in rightiousness creates the foundation to become whole in the long journey ahead…

  16. The daily test we all face…
    To identify…
    And control…
    Thy demons…
    In thy self…
    Not over look you to only see darkness in in the person standing in your face…
    TRUTH
    Creates spiritual growth…

  17. Great info, my wife and I continued the convo after the lesson was over and some more wisdom was had. APDTTMHA!

  18. It's not that the woman matures faster than the Man. It's that women are indoctrinated into this society's principles and morels quicker than the "black" Man. The woman's mind works linear. So it's easier for her to pick up the job, then school, then career and then start a family cycle this society teaches. The lack of culture is the "black" Mans #1 conundrum for his stagnation in mental growth.

  19. This is definitely on point!!! An on time message! All praises to the Most High Ahayah!!!!! Thawadah for the well needed discussion Elders!

  20. Be open and communicate with respect.. Connection when we speak..all the dirt in the pass must make us stronger and we must overcome the evil thoughts and evil spirit from separation..express our nightmares and hold nothing back moving forward towards the kingdom toward Zion.. Like a cell phone with no service and no cash well..we have to tapp into the spirit as if there's wi-fi everywhere.. What im learning from this lesson and mistakes made in my own relationship.lets stay under Ahayah's protection,stay in prayer and most importantly keep the commandments.book open. Shalawam family

  21. Well Elders and family this is a great topic, Marriage,but I feel that because I'm married and in this truth alone, there's really no hope for my marriage. I been with this man 22 years but we still can't see eye to that's why I stay in the truth and continue to pray and study it's really hard,I personally feel that eventually I will probably leave this man because we cannot talk with out him arguing about everything I try to talk to him about. It's really useless. All great lesson love you all nice seeing Sister Shirley live on TV, a beautiful Sister can't wait to see all of you someday in person, it will be a great treat.πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜Š blessing and healings to all, all praises to Ahayah bahashem Yashaya wa Rawach

  22. PRAISE AHAYAH for this real life lesson. PLEASE GIVE US MORE OF THIS KIND OF LESSON including our courting and marriage procedures according to the Bible.

  23. Nice discussion, but I totally disagree with behind a good man is a good women. That is complete BS. I can dress and maintain myself without a women in my life. If I get a wife, it would be a compliment to my life, but not to make me a better man. Modern day western women are a liability not an asset. I agree with the rest of the discussion. Thank you Elders.

  24. Shalawam!!! I love seeing couples coming to these righteous conclusions after getting wisdom, doing reflection, and repenting. All praises to The Most High! I am asking if someone feels confident enough to thoroughly address divorce and remarriage…can someone explain whether it is permitted to remarry, without saying that it is permitted if the other person is unfaithful? In the OT, there is an example (in deut?) where it talks about a woman going back to the first husband if the second finds some uncleanness in her. It didn't say that she wasn't supposed to have this second husband. But…under what circumstances was this allowed? In Matthew, the Messiah also speaks of a divorced woman marrying a new man is an adulterer, as is the new man. Many of us are divorced, probably divorced after being in a worldly marriage (abusive spouses, gay spouses, atheists, perverted spouses, etc., etc.), but have the truth and want a spouse who is also in the truth. Is it even allowed?? Thank you in advance!!!

  25. If ppl cant receive from ppl they are mad at. . .does this means that "black" ppl are mad at black folks because they rather listen and receive from ALL others except their own. The bottom line in Hebrew marriages should be to put the Most High at ALL time first!!

  26. Wow…nice topic, another thing is a lot of times men have no respect for women and even when they come in the truth they get a wife and mentally abuse them. I noticed some men come in and think that the women is nothing and it's about the man. Wish I could of be there but it's most needed today. If everyone looks in mirror and acknowledge their part, their wrongs, we will be better. Apttmh!!!!

  27. This was a beautiful round table. β™₯️ HIGHLY needed! I think family relationships should be discussed more often! And when I say family I mean Parent & Children, Brothers & Sisters (in and out of biological) etc.. πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦ Working on proper communication throughout the entire body! We are stronger when we can effectively communicate with each-other in all mediums! πŸ‘

  28. I LOVE the mindset of the sister @ 1:13:00!
    If you see this comment Sister, please reply back or find me on the book! πŸ€—

  29. Behind every great man most likely is a great woman. That woman is their mothers. (See Our LORD) as an example. Just a thought.

  30. I think that a major hurdle for men is learning when to apply WISDOM. Knowing that you can't handle women the same way as you do a man, because she thinks and values and sees things differently, vice versa. Choosing when to be firm or lax. Furthermore, an all around positive and biblical examples of being a man as a whole. The reason I spoke about wisdom has to do with how the most high regards wisdom and how to use it. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Sprit (wisdom) are the templates for a family, So, I believe we can look that for an answer.

  31. I'm aware that Women are not be the head of congregations,but how can we say that can't be "teachers" when they are the first "Teachers" of us all?? Someone plz give me some greater understanding on this plz.Shaabath Shalawam Yasherahla.

  32. i like the brother that say never cut your Wisdom. The Holy Spirit Rawach is Wisdom. A husband and wife balance each other. The power with the wife is submission and always pray for your spouse daily and spending time in prayer and in the word daily helps a lot. My hubby and I make it a priority to spend the time in the word and prayer daily both have to establish that relationship with the Most High together and individually.
    Good round table discussion. Please! Let Sister Shirley know her spirit and testimony was a blessing during my times of trials with my hubby years ago. This discussion is much needed in all GOCC especially when there is much younger couples in the gathering have not much experience with being married many need to know known is above reproach regardless of ones position humble your self as a husband and wife and singles can learn as well. Love you family!

  33. There are thousands of people who are unequally yoked. In the truth I see were I will be single forever. Men are as strong as we want them or as I want.

  34. APTTMH for the opportunity to have a woman to speak period. Unfortunately, that is not the case in all of the churches.

  35. The statements made to highlight the responsibility of a woman and their level of maturity is a result of the miseducation of our people. I believe the responsibility of a man should definitely be highlighted more for the men, in order to create a balance of responsibility between both men and women when it comes to their families. The men should begin early to express to our young men to understand they have a responsibility as a man, husband, and a father. It should not ONLY BE THE WOMAN because you can see her change with the baby growing in her physical body. The error is what the world has offered us. This is a reflection of single mothers left to handle the child, the household, bills, etc, this is not the order. The man must cast down the imagination in his role as a man that is constantly allowed to exalt itself above the knowledge of the Most High when it comes to his responsibility as a Man of TMH. The responsibility of a father is everything to a family. We have the opportunity to change it NOW! Unfortunately, I can still hear some of the worldly impressions of a man coming forth out of our leaders here. It is harder for men but to whom much is given much is required. The men welcome the role as the head of the house, then they also need to welcome the responsibility that comes with it. Women are to obey their husbands, yes, we hear this all the time, the statement that should accompany this is " MEN OBEY Christ and the Most High."

  36. Part 1
    The comments that were made that many times men have their heels in the mud and are not leading is an excuse to not wait upon the LORD. We see this play out in many scriptures throughout the entire Bible when concerning women over stepping their bounds.

    Eve did not wait upon her husband, but saught to wrongly be the leader. Adam was not deceived, but as the scriptures say she was.

    1 Timothy 2:13-14
    [13]For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
    [14]And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

    Eve got impatient and did not wait upon her lord, which was her husband. And her desires were not to her husband, but elsewhere…

    Anyone remember in the Book of Job, his wife did not want to wait upon the LORD. She told him to curse Yahuwah and die.

    Job 2:9-10
    [9]Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.
    [10]But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips.

    Abraham's wife Sarah did not want to wait upon the LORD for the child of promise to get pregnant. No she told her husband to sleep with her handmaiden Hagar.

    Genesis 16:1-3
    [1]Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.
    [2]And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
    [3]And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.

    Then Sarah starts to blame Abraham when things are not going her way, instead of the way that the LORD had already promised.

    Genesis 16:4-5
    [4]And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.
    [5]And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee.

    See Part 2

  37. Part 2
    Prior to Sarah giving her handmaiden to Abraham, she overheard the LORD say she would conceive a child and laughed.

    Genesis 18:9-15
    [9]And they said unto him, Where is Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold, in the tent.
    [10]And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him.
    [11]Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women.
    [12]Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?
    [13]And the LORD said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old?
    [14]Is any thing too hard for the LORD? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.
    [15]Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh.

    Then after being asked about it, she then lies to the LORD. This is stuff is funny to our females.

    Remember Lot's wife as our Lord Yahuwashi told us. Luke 17:32.
    Yahuwah made provisions for their safety and she couldn't stand by her husband and not turn back.

    Genesis 19:15
    [15]And when the morning arose, then the angels hastened Lot, saying, Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters, which are here; lest thou be consumed in the iniquity of the city.

    Notice in this story in the Book of Genesis 19 chapter, that the two angels are only speaking to Lot and not his wife. And we know the rest of the story that she was turned into a pillar of salt.

    My sisters, and the brothers out there that's always trying to justify our sister's Jezebel spirit needs to pump the brakes. Having this matter of spirit will destroy her, her children and others around her.

    Revelation 2:20-23
    [20]Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.
    [21]And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not.
    [22]Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds.
    [23]And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works.

    There's very few daughters of Zion that ever lead, we are aware of the one's that did, but that was the exception, rather than the rule. Shalawam…

  38. Let the brother that spoke in the end and mentioned headaches when he wakes up, he may not be getting enough oxygen when he’s sleeping, sleep apnea, can be dangerous.

  39. -This was a good and insightful topic. One thing I believe is that many times we marry WRONG. There are so many people out here that chose to make covenant with someone who was totally not right(eous) for them. many men have married that woman in the book of Proverbs that wisdom said to stay away from for she will lead you into a pit and you shall be seen no more. man women have married that man who can never love her as Messiah loved the church because he is narcissistic and loves only himself. Put that together with the fact that neither a man or woman will change unless they want to and you will see a lot of the problem with some of our marriages. Of Course there are other issues such as Elder Rawcha was speaking on how it is sometimes hard for a spouse to receive instruction/correction from one another but will receive that very word from someone else. I think a lot of that has to do with how you treat one another. If a woman is constantly bagging her husband, no, he will not be so receptive because he may simply be tired of hearing your mouth. ( not true for all nut for some ) A wife may not receive from her husband but someone else because he may be mean and insensitive, inattentive to her but she watched him respect others, she may see him as a hypocrite and begin to lose respect for him. ( some not all ) Those are just a few points of view. This was very good and it should continue to help bring understanding. It also helps is to realize that one size does not git all and we need to look at things in that manner. It is a good thing to have open forum and discuss truths together. Blessings and Shalom Family … and wisdom. Thank you GOCC.

  40. I think that it's both the environment and the character and guidance one receives. Environment is some what of an issue but i think it's the love and support, help and communication one receives and it's also about WHO that person is….their character. Also Strongholds and generational curses are real too.

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