5 Days Of Wedding Planning | Try Living With Lucie | Refinery29


I’m Lucie Fink and this week is Hello everyone, welcome back to New York City,
and welcome back to Refinery29’s YouTube channel. If you’re new here and you haven’t yet, subscribe. Be sure to click on the little subscribe button
down here. Be sure you’re subscribed to my personal YouTube
channel @luciebfink, and give this video a thumbs up if you’re excited for a new Try
Living With Lucie episode. This is sadly going to be one of the last
episodes ever that I shoot in this bedroom because Michael and I are moving soon. So look around and say goodbye. Take it all in. Now I know why you’re all here, and that’s because you want all of the
details and all of the behind the scenes info about wedding planning. So let’s just get into the video. Honestly there is so much that goes into the
entire wedding planning process. Just way more than can fit into one YouTube
video. If I actually made this video accurate and
I tracked the video through the entire process, this video would be a year long video. So for this video I’m going to pick five major
aspects of wedding planning to explore but just know, we’re scratching the surface here. One disclaimer that I want to make upfront
is that this video is probably going to be most interesting and also most helpful to people out there that
want to have a traditional wedding. A big party with your family and friends,
a caterer, a band or a DJ. A blowup. However every wedding is different and every
bride and groom want something different from their wedding day. Many people don’t even want a wedding at all. So if you’re interested in a very small personal
wedding, a lot of the details that I’m about to throw at you will probably not be applicable
to your situation. Michael and I both wanted to have a big wedding
celebration and we also both have very big families. So that’s why this video is going to be pretty traditional. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way,
let’s go. The first thing that you’ll likely need to
consider, and probably the least fun aspect of all of this, is your budget. Your budget is going to dictate everything
you do moving forward. There are a ton of online tools that can help
you when it comes to planning your wedding budget, but because that is so not fun, that’s
what I’m going to skip over right now to get to the fun stuff. Things I will cover in this video: selecting
your venue, your color scheme and flowers, wedding invitations, and all the Day Of stationery,
picking your dress, and of course catering and the cake. As I mentioned in a couple of previous videos,
Michael and I are using wedding planners. So before we go any further, let me introduce
you to them. I’m Sarah Duke. And I’m Taylor Van Deusen. And we are Lucie and Michael’s wedding planners. We’ve been working together since 2013 but
we’ve been friends since birth. Pretty much. Lucie really did come in with a really strong
idea of where she wanted to take the wedding and those different details but did really
leave it open. She really has had so much fun with this process. She knew what she was looking for in terms
of design and aesthetic but she’s been so open minded and really creative throughout
the process. And now let’s dive in to Step one: Finding
Your Venue. First step in looking for a location for our
bride would be to determine their budget, as well as how many guests they will be having. The process can begin a full year for some
clients and these places book up fast. Some brides and grooms start the wedding planning
process by actually diving into the nitty gritty details. Napkin rings, bouquets, what color dancefloor
they want to have. But I think the small details are best kept
for later. And I would say that immediately after you
set your budget, the next big thing you should do is find your venue. You might be surprised how far in advance
you need to book some of these venues. Of course, it depends on the time of year,
the location, and also how many other couples are vying for that same space. But just to give you an idea, Michael and
I signed the contract for our wedding venue in May 2018, which is one year and four months before our
actual wedding date. And to be totally honest a lot of other weekend
dates around our date were already booked at our venue at that time. You really do have to pick that venue first
because if you think about it, the venue is going to be the place that dictates what day
you can get married and you can’t start booking things like florists and bands and caterers
until you can tell them exactly when and where you’re getting married. And when it comes time to look at venues,
there are a ton of factors to consider. Of course, there’s the visual appeal. You want to make sure that both the outside
and the inside of the venue fit with the vibe you’re
trying to create. You kind of need to know a rough number of
how many people you plan on inviting, because a lot of these venues do have a cap on the
amount of people they can hold. And this is the moment when you’re really
going to start making some major decisions about your event. Is it a beach wedding? Is it on a lake? Is it in a forest? Is it in a hotel? Are you having the ceremony inside or outside? At a church or any other religious space? At first, Michael and I thought that we wanted
to get married in New York City, potentially on a rooftop with city views. So we did start out by looking at a few venues
locally. So despite this footage that you’re seeing
right now, which shows me walking through a venue totally by myself, I did in fact do
this process with Michael. I just had to go back to film it during the
work week when he wasn’t available, because we didn’t actually want to film the real experience
when we were trying to pick a venue. Tribeca Rooftop is a gorgeous venue in New
York City that has stunning views of the Hudson River and of the Freedom Tower, and the indoor
section has a glass ceiling and a giant open space that you can do so many things with. The Glass House is another beautiful venue with huge windows and amazing
city views. Typically, when you visit these places as
a potential wedding venue, someone is giving you a tour and showing you the whole space. And I found that one of the most helpful parts
of this is when you sit down with that person and they show you photos of the space from
previous events that have been there. Michael and I ultimately settled on a venue
outside of the city because we wanted our wedding to feel like more of a full weekend
getaway. But the venue we chose is an art museum which
makes things a little bit trickier. It’s not a standard event space that has tables
and chairs or even a kitchen. So we have to bring in everything, from every
fork and knife to the dance floor itself, to even assembling a cook tent with backup
generators for the caterers. So there is a lot to think about here when
it comes to venues. Typically 15% of your overall budget goes
to the venue. After securing your venue and your wedding
date, I’d say the next big thing to focus on is to start building a mood board. Look at colors you love, floral arrangements
and overall design inspiration. Our venue is a very raw space, so if we didn’t
have any design elements in the room, it would pretty much just be black walls with a solid
slate floor. So this was the moment in the wedding journey
when I went crazy with Pinterest, magazines, design books and so much more. Typically one of the most prominent elements
of planning a wedding is selecting your floral arrangements. One of the things to be considering when looking
at flowers for your wedding is the time of year you’re deciding to get married, because
a lot of the flowers that you’re looking at might be only available in the spring, or
some that are only available in the fall. Certain types of flowers actually signify
different moods or hold deeper meanings. For instance, as you might already know, a
red rose symbolizes deep love, passion and unwavering affection, but a yellow rose much
of the time is saying ‘get well soon’. Now listen, a lot of people choose their wedding
color scheme purely based on aesthetics, as I did. I did not do too much floral research here. But this can be a moment where you can get
a little bit poetic or deep if you’re into that. The various aspects that are going to ultimately
play into how your overall wedding looks include the furniture that you’re going to rent, like
the tables and chairs, every plate, dish, napkin and fork. Centerpieces, candles, bread baskets, and
then of course lighting. Is it a daytime wedding? Is it dimly lit at night? The way things worked with our florist was
that we had a couple of meetings early on where we showed design inspiration and talked
through things we liked and didn’t like. Their team has been taking everything we’ve
said and sent them into account, and they’ve been sending us emails back where they’re
actually sending through pictures of what our space is going to look like. And then one day, about one month before the
wedding, we’re gonna do one more in-person meeting where we’ll have a final mockup. So we’ll actually go there in person and see
a table set up exactly the way it’s going to look at our wedding. And that’s when we can get really hands on
and start moving things around a little, and just making final tweaks to the look. One thing that was really stressful to me
when discussing the flowers was realizing how wasteful the floral process is. You pay for so many flowers, it’s such a big
expense, they’re so beautiful, but they’re used for five hours and then they’re thrown
away. So on our wedding day we’ll be partnering
with a company called Repeat Roses, and they basically come to your venue, they collect
all of your flowers, and then they take them to cancer treatment centers and hospitals
nearby. They leave them there for about another week
or so, and then when they’re really at the end of their lifecycle, they pick the flowers
back up and they compost them. I think it’s an amazing way to add a charitable
element to your wedding while also reducing your environmental impact. Typically 25 to 30% of your overall budget
will go towards floral and decor, rentals and lighting. As a calligraphy and stationery junkie, I
have to say that planning out the invitations, and also the entire suite of Day Of paper
products, was one of the most fun parts of the entire process for me. This is the one area in the budget where people
always say they don’t want to spend a lot and then always end up overspending once they
see all these options. I did for a brief second consider hand lettering
all of our invitations, but I quickly realized how much work that was going to be. So thankfully I came across a custom letter
press and wedding invitation boutique in Manhattan called Ipanema Press. Hi I’m Adrienne, I’m the owner of Ipanema
Press. There are so many options that we talk about
with clients when they come in to look at stationery. The paper, the print method, the ink colors,
the envelope liners, the type of envelopes you use. So from the first stages of Save the Dates, all the way through to the Day Of stationery, place cards and menus, we take it step by
step so it’s not so overwhelming. We’re working with Ipanema for all of our
wedding paper products. So the invitations, RSVP cards, menus, place
cards, even thank you notes, and a lot more. Traditionally someone would probably use that
same company that’s doing all of that to make their save the dates. But if you’ve watched any of my previous wedding
videos, you might know that Michael and I chose to send out a Save the Date video instead
of Save the Date cards. If you want to watch that it’s on my Instagram
TV @luciebfink. When Lucie came in she wasn’t quite sure what
direction she wanted to go in, but she did have a venue that was modern. So, from there we decided let’s go with something
that is super simple, and really clean and really unusual. So we walked through the whole process. We looked at papers. Lucy really loved this beautiful textured
cotton paper. She liked touches of modern calligraphy but
also a really clean streamlined block line. One thing I realized after we sent out our
invitations was just how important they are as a physical reminder to really get your
guests excited for your big day. I can’t even tell you how many of our guests
called me or e-mailed me or called my parents to let everyone know how excited they were
once they actually got the invitation. And the process of actually packing up the
invitations to send them off was so much fun. My family got together and we basically just
made a huge assembly line and had an envelope stuffing party. We all put on surgical gloves to protect the
invitations from the oils on our hands, and we went through our guest list person by person
and packed up each person’s invite individually, adding all of the necessary elements. And then we mailed them all out in bulk. And don’t even get me started about all of
the excitement of starting to see people’s RSVP
cards rolling in. I would say about 5% of your overall budget
goes towards the Save the Date invitations and also the Day Of stationery. If you haven’t watched any of my previous
videos on this topic, here’s a quick recap. When it came time to pick my dress there was
pretty much only one bridal boutique that came to mind and that is Kleinfeld Bridal,
home of Say Yes To The Dress. And it only took me two appointments to find
my dream dress. In my first session at Kleinfeld I genuinely
liked almost every dress I tried on. They were all gorgeous and I could have seen
myself picking pretty much any of those. So I left kind of confused. At my second appointment, I was in the process
of trying on some of the same dresses from my first appointment, when my
Kleinfeld stylist Debbie said, “hang on, give me one second, I’m going to go grab one new
dress that just came in from Milan.” She came back with this gorgeous dress in
this clear packaging. I knew it was the one the moment she unzipped
it and I saw it. And it was nothing short of a magical moment. I screamed and then I looked myself in the
mirror and I had this sort of out of body experience where I was making eye contact
with myself while I was thinking, Some brides like to change outfits between
the ceremony and the reception so they might have two, maybe even three dresses. Once they found this dress, I just knew that
I loved it so much and I had to spend the entire night in it. So I only have one dress and I won’t be taking
it off. Seriously, I might even sleep in it. And about three minutes after I first stepped
into this gown, I officially said yes to the dress. So you’re currently seeing footage of me trying
on dresses at Kleinfeld, and I have a whole video on this but I’m not showing you the
dress that I ended up selecting. Stay tuned on my Instagram account and my
YouTube channel after September 21st for the final reveal. We don’t usually include the wedding dress
in our budget at all because our clients are looking for such different things when it
comes to their dress. When choosing a caterer, we like to think
about again what location we’ve chosen and what time of year that is, because we want
to keep it seasonal. Let’s be honest. Being a professional food taster seems like
it would be one of the best jobs in the entire world. And as the bride and groom to be You basically get to do this. The food served at your event can be a big
part of your wedding day if you choose for it to be. And every catering company specializes in
something different. Some are amazing at using locally sourced
ingredients. Others have a stunning presentation that looks
like something right out of Chef’s Table. But I have to say, one of the most fun parts
about being a bride to be is getting to do the food tastings. Some catering companies do tastings entirely
for free. Others only charge you if you choose not to
go with them for your event. So definitely do some research before you
start filling up your calendar with tastings. But this is really where you can start to
put yourself in the shoes of your guests and develop a delicious menu. The footage that you’re seeing right now was
recreated footage with the catering company that we chose for our wedding: Events by Peter
Ambrose. And here you’re seeing me tasting the food
all by myself, because once again this is recreated footage. But in reality, this was a whole family affair. Chef Pete came into our family home and essentially
did one giant dinner for nine of us. It was basically a big meal of many tastings
of different hors d’oeuvres, appetizers, main courses, and of course a
ton of dessert options. Everyone gets a menu card in front of them,
and then as you’re eating you take notes right on the menu card. Then at the end we talk about what people
liked or what they want to swap out, until ultimately we can develop a menu that everyone
loves. And you can’t forget about the cake. So we did our cake tasting on the same day
as this catering tasting. Even though the cake is a different company. The cake is another opportunity where we really
styled it to fit with the overall look of the wedding. So we really think about what we’re plating this cake on. Having a floral team come in and add flowers
to style it. It’s another moment. I actually did an entire episode of Lucie
for Hire as a wedding cake maker and that was years before we got engaged. But I really do know how intense and how intricate
the cake process can be. I think the best way to go about choosing
what your wedding cake is going to look like is just to look through the Internet and find
photos that you love. And that’s what we did and it was very easy. But there’s also the option of looking through
your cake maker’s repertoire and seeing what they specialize in or other cakes they’ve already made. Or if you’re really crafty you can draw a
cake design on your own and build it from scratch. Generally about 20% of your budget will go
towards catering. 30% of your budget goes to everything else
that we haven’t covered. We’re not even at marriage yet. And wedding planning has been a journey in
and of itself. I’m not going to lie. It has been a little bit stressful at times,
but overall it’s incredibly fun. And truthfully I wouldn’t have even known
where to begin without our planners. So if you can find planners that you like
I would highly recommend passing off most of the heavy lifting to them,
especially if you already have a full time job. Some planners charge by the hour. Others tack on a fee to the total cost to
your wedding. So just do some research and figure out what
works best for you. Just to be sure I mention it, here are some
other major aspects of wedding planning that I didn’t even cover in this video that are
still very important to consider. Choosing your wedding band or DJ, choosing
your wedding bands, the rings, having hair and makeup trials, hiring a photographer and
or a videographer, building your wedding registry, assembling all of your accessories for the
day of including shoes, any jewelry you’re going to wear, And of course, planning your honeymoon. Be sure that you’re subscribed to my YouTube
channel and following my Instagram account. Both are @luciebfink, because I’ll likely
be sharing a little bit more wedding prep content before September 21st. Give this video a thumbs up if you liked learning
more about my wedding planning process. And if you’ve already had a wedding, or if
you just have tips to share, please comment them below. Thank you so much for coming back as always
and we’ll see you next time on Try Living with Lucie. Hey YouTube! Thanks for watching. Click here for another video on this channel,
right here to subscribe to R29 on YouTube, and right here for my personal YouTube channel. Don’t forget to find me on Instagram @luciebfink
and comment below with your next Try Living with Lucie suggestion. See ya!

Michael Martin

99 Responses

  1. really early love u so much lucie keep up the vids love them to plz reply xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  2. Hi lucie! Thank you for another amazing video. I can't believe your getting married so soon. Love from the Philippines. #earlysquad!❤️❤️❤️

  3. In my country, guests take the flowers after the wedding, instead of us throwing them. They can try planting them or decorate their house.

  4. This taught me that Lucie is Rich! Or her family is…. That's some serious coin she spent. And a dress from Milan 😱 the invites looked perfect! I'm sure it will be an amazing wedding

  5. I planned an entire lake wedding for under five thousand dollars. That included an open bar, lots of food, a DJ and a great view of the sunset over the lake. You don’t need a lot of money to have a beautiful wedding. My guess is that this wedding is pushing 50k… I could have used that for a down payment on a house and still payed off my student loans. That’s crazy to spend on a couple of hours… while weddings are very important and beautiful at the end of the day you’re still married the same as everyone else.

  6. as a florist…. PLEASE be aware of what flowers are in season. sometimes florists can color flowers, but not always. it’s gonna cost you soooooo much more money if you insist on having say, tulips in September, if you’re even able to somehow get them at all. and if the florist can’t get you the flowers you want, don’t throw a giant hissy fit about it. you not doing your research is a you problem!
    (also that repeat roses thing is wonderful, being a florist rly makes you see how wasteful it can be lol)

  7. It is getting so close guys. I am kinda exited for you and Michal Lucy!
    Btw: my cat is born on the day you got engaged and is called Lucy. Find it quite funny, she got that name from the old lady we bought her from.

  8. My mother in law is getting married (her 3rd marriage) on September 21st too. My husband & I will be married 3 years in October. I still remember how wonderful our wedding day felt but I also remember every little detail that went wrong or not as I planned it. We wanted to elope but since both of us are only children, our mothers would not have let us hear the end of it, so we got married in town & only had 11 guests. Something to make sure you do after your ceremony, is take some time away from everybody, even if it's 5 or 10 minutes, to just enjoy each other, the day will go by so quickly!!!

  9. Great video, Lucie. Can't wait to celebrate on 9/21. I love the idea of having the flowers donated to patients in hospitals. Everything looks amazing and beautiful.

  10. My mom planned/executed my wedding in 4 days. I borrowed my sister's wedding dress; a bakery we always used donated the cake; my aunts all cooked; the church was happy to have us; the flowers were discounted by the florist my family always used (and my bouquet was free!). I planned/executed my son's wedding in 5 days, and guess what? Our "family bakery" donated the cake; the tuxedos came from another shop we have a long-standing relationship with, same with the bouquets. We went to a discount center for a simple wedding dress for my soon to be daughter; I embellished it (thank goodness I can sew). The most expensive thing was the venue, and they did the catering. Ceremony outdoors in their garden (no need for decor); buffet indoors with fireplace and we had pre-recorded their favorite music. All together, from dress to dinner: $3000.

  11. Lucie, you are so so pretty I’ve been watching you for years… And you have inspired me so much! I hope you have the time of your life on your big day!

  12. I hate red roses. to me personally symbolize betrayal lol idk maybe bcuz i would always see on movies the guy bringing red roses to the girl after cheating haha.

  13. Wow I have to say it's crazy how much people invest in weddings 😅 no hate – I just don't get it. (I know she made a disclaimer) Nevertheless very interesting video and great to have a guide to make planning stress free if you want a big wedding 🙂

  14. Very much second her rec to get a wedding planner!! My friends who didn't were SO stressed about the process. I did not want to spend time choosing plate shapes, going to a test of the floral arrangements, researching and signing a contract with a DJ, or designing and printing menu cards – and I was so much less stressed because I didn't have to. This video barely scratches the surface of the many, many tasks involved. Same disclaimer as Lucy that I wanted a fairly large/fancy blowout-type wedding – I understand that a planner is not possible for everyone, but if you live in a big city like NYC/SF/LA and are already planning to spend upwards of $30K (national average) it's such a huge huge help!!!

  15. What I learned: Invite less people and keep it smaller and simpler. We had around 150 people. But if I could do it again I‘d stick to 40-60 people. Less chaos, less helpers needed, less stress.
    We asked friends of my husband to play with their band. My goodmother paid for my hair-do as a gift. Also my mum and I did a lot of the decor ourselves including place chards and name cards!

  16. Só cute! As a Lucie fan I’m very happy for them, but I feel she’s been focusing only on wedding related content in her personal channel, I’d love to see more diverse topics on her R29 collabs! She has so many good ideas, let’s spice it up to include more viewers: 5 days of recycling, 5 days of museums, 5 days of sports, 5 days of NY neighborhoods, 5 days of Broadway….

  17. Congrats on your upcoming wedding Lucie, I'm sure it's going to be amazing! 🙂 FYI, to some of the comments, lets stop telling Lucie how to spend her own money. She's a grown woman and if she wants a big wedding she has every right to have one. Different people spend their money of different things, expensive cars, bags, shoes, so lets not judge that she wants to put some coin into a wedding.

  18. Did anyone else freak out for a second when she said “sadly this will be one of my last Living with Lucie episodes….in this bedroom??? 😳😅

  19. Lucie, on the day of wedding, don't get so caught up in making sure everything goes right, that you forget to enjoy the day and yourself!

  20. To each his own of course, however i find in the US weddings and the 'must haves' are so exaggerated and overpriced (eg. napkin holders?? who cares about that??).. in the Netherlands we spent 10k on the whole wedding including rings and dress, had a spectacular venue and our close family and friends attending, everyone still remembers our wedding as the best they've ever attended to this day. Its all about the atmosphere and people you spend it with. However, if money isn't an issue and you want to have a Cinderella moment then sure! nothing wrong with that, do what the heart desires 😀

  21. is something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue really a thing? cause its my first time hearing this despite being involved in different weddings

  22. Make sure someone has snacks and drinks for you while you're getting ready and in between pictures and the ceremony on either side. You'll be hungry.

  23. Best advice I received while planning my wedding was pick 3-5 things. 3-5 thing that HAVE to go right; that you, as the person getting married, need to happen. Then you let everyone else worry about all the other stuff and you worry about your 3-5 things.

  24. City hall was my ideal! Rather than spending thousands and thousands on the wedding, we put that money into an amazing honeymoon. My family is more traditional and would have preferred a typical wedding, but we did it our way instead

  25. I think it would be really nice to see an episode about improving your relationships with family and friends, especially with a wedding coming up!

  26. "I'm not gonna talk openly about how wealthy I am, though it's totally obvious I'm rich." -Lucie Fink. Lol. It's so sad when rich people try to be relatable

  27. Hello my friends do you want to see what i found? i found the best wedding planners in santorini! If you want to learn more just let me know and i send you more info!

  28. when my sister got married, she invited myself. our other sister, and both our parents to a tasting, but little did we know it was a sit down dinner tasting with many other couples and we were the only real family at the event. I'm actually glad you guys made it a private thing because we were trying a menu that was basically their greatest hits (except for the cake, duh) instead of a customized meal.

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