10 Gaslighting Signs in an Abusive Relationship



Oh to Gaslight someone means to manipulate a person into questioning their own sanity this is seen in abusive relationships and even after the relationship ends the effects of gas lighting can still progress consequently it is important to identify such a relationship as soon as possible get rid of gas lighters from your life and keep them away from contact for at least a year if not permanently gas lighting is a form of emotional abuse that gives the abuser power to make the victim question their own mentalities here are 10 signs to help you identify if you are being gas lighted in an abusive relationship one using your fears abusive people often act charming in order to extract information from you and use it against you later on they take note of your vulnerabilities especially for this reason the abuser will want to feel like they're better than you and make sure you think that way too for example if you have weight insecurities the abuser will poke fun of your weight and constantly point out people who are skinnier than you to knowing you many abusers think and act as if they know everything about you right down to your thoughts if you try to claim otherwise they will assume you're a lie they may even try to convince you that you're relying to yourself three normal changes this is one of the most obvious signs of gas lighting if someone tries to tell you something is normal when you think it's wrong you need to get out of that relationship for example if you don't want to take the next step in a relationship but your partner calls you a prude rather than accepting your comfort levels you should watch out keep in mind abusers do not exist only in romantic relationships but in professional relationships as well or questioning your sanity a person is abusing you and yet you're the one that's insane that's basically how it goes in the mind of an abuser when an abuser does not get their way even through manipulation they may become more intense by questioning your sanity you are likely to be called paranoid hormonal or overly sensitive five making you doubt yourself when someone says something over and over again you are bound to believe it eventually because of frequent exposure to such comments you will find yourself questioning your own judgment and may eventually give up completely and just let the other person think for you six forgetting an abuser tends to have selective memory when they may deny ever saying anything that upset you if you try to confront them about it for example they may have made a promise that was never fulfilled and then claim the promise was never made 7 making you lie you may not usually lie but this person may cause you to lie at times to avoid any verbal and/or physical abuse to come this lying is motivated by stress caused by the abuser eight causing you to stay silent it is an 8 for humans to want to share their experiences but being with an abuser may redirect that nature you may avoid or stop talking with the abuser and may even stop talking about yourself and your experiences to everyone in general based off habit in trauma caused by the abuser 9 making you question your sanity manipulative tactics can change the way people think drastically when you are constantly trying to end an argument with an abuser it may become easy to just go along with whatever the person is saying but this slowly changes the way you think you eventually start believing the abusive when they say you are in the wrong and should apologize 10 making you depressed being worn down by an abuser can easily make anyone depressed being pushed to question yourself and your sanity will get tiring over time and eventually lead to a feeling of hopelessness worst of all because you think you have issues such as paranoia and memory loss you are likely to search for treatment for the depression and the mental problems rather than for the issue itself the abuser now that you know some of the gaslighting signs do you think you've ever been gaslighted before if so how did you get out of that relationship feel free to tell your story in the comments below if you enjoyed this video be sure to follow our other social media for more psychology content and don't forget to subscribe thanks for watching and have a wonderful day

Michael Martin

24 Responses

  1. The answer to that question is very straight forward, in my case Im still in it!!!?! 😱😂
    I was put in hospital and afterwards my mom was kind enough to offer to me 5oläkkk

  2. I got suprised of my life when i discovered my first crush was not just gaslighting me but repeatedly hacked my social accounts she told me she was that resentful that i never asked her out in school blame me and wouldnt admit to anything

  3. If you fell constantly the need to actually record him/her talking in the moment of arguing to prove your point then you need to get out of such relationship.

  4. I had an abusive roommate who gaslighted me. I still get insanely worried that I’m doing things wrong or upsetting my current roommates when I have no proof that I did it.

  5. My question is, what if you both do this to each other recognize it, and want to change it? How do you change?

  6. Very insightful video. Makes you realize that many of us are in abusive relationships and we do not even know that we are being abused. I found myself doing checks and balances with the different types of abuse to look for. Cool.

  7. The United States is in an abusive relationship with its government elected and appointed officials

  8. I've always known my relationship with my mom wasn't 'right' but many of these point hit home. They were far to accurate, but this is my mom? How do I fix the situation. I'm moving out in 3 months literally across the country, but my little brother will still live with her. I told my dad two years ago I was feeling or being abused but he thought it was a miss understanding or my undiagnosed depression at the time. But I'm depression free now (mostly) a d this behavior is still going on. She's holding her financial aid over my head. I need help to pay for college. And she says I'm sensitive or just hormonal a lot which is extra upsetting because I'm transgender. I don't know what to do or where to turn for help. My friends and my girlfriend all know it's not healthy but I'm not in prominent danger, my school counselor can't help me because I used to have a therapist (dumb law) but my therapy only has 1 and 2 o'clock appointment times when I'm in class. I just feel lost

  9. Honestly i’ve been abused by everyone in my life, parents, partners, friends, peers, teachers to the point where I don’t even know myself, i second guess myself, any time someone isnt mean I get happy. I have bad borderline personality disorder because of it

  10. Still super insecure and doubtful that they are actually the wrong ones in this relationship despite this video fitting them to a T and everyone i know backing it up. according to the internet that's how you know you've been gaslighted rip

  11. I always thought in my 6-month relationship with my (now ex) partner that I was the villain and abuser who was always making them upset and that I was so below them and didn't even deserve to be around them without feeling ashamed for disagreeing or speaking up for myself. I was in constant fear of anyone coming to me concerned about my relationship as I had become very isolated from my friends and classmates due to my partner's extreme jealousy. I wanted to agree with them and ask them for help but I was terrified of my partner finding out someone had come up to me because I know they would direct all this anger onto me. They have done all these things on many occasions, less calling me insane but definitely driving me insane and silent in arguments. If I were to explain how all these points relate to my ex-partner then we would be here for a long time.
    Ever since our break-up 2 weeks ago (for reasons such as restricting communications with friends, stealing my phones, blackmailing suicide), I have found out many many things explaining them in this relationship, this video perfectly describing them. A manipulator who gets in your head to control you into staying with them with lies and using your own words against you, making you feel depressed and insane.

  12. So all psychological warfare intelligence officers, police surveillance, psychologists and psychiatrists… got it

  13. My mom did this shit to me when I was a kid…..at least when you are an adult you have the means to escape meanwhile a child doesn't……people who do this stuff deserve to get beat up….

  14. Why the victim is always female and the aggressor a man? What kind of suggestive message are you conveying?

  15. She would get so upset when I friended people on places like Steam. She was afraid I would ditch her like the girlfriends before me. So I started lying about making friends even though I knew she was stalking my profile page.

    She would get panic attacks if I had to go to bed. I would tell her good night and put my phone on Do Not Disturb so I didn't have to hear the incessant spamming as she cussed at me and begged me to come back on-line. Often, I would be crying because she lost her temper at me during a Skype call (I probably set her off because I couldn't hear what she was saying).
    She called me an abuser for leaving her to her panic attacks. I was confused. I was just going to bed. How was that abuse? Maybe I was… I don't know.

    We've broken up/gotten back together several times (usually I was the one doing the breaking up). The last time we broke up she had called me a wh*re and a sl*t (unsure if she was joking and I don't remember why) and said I was too sensitive when I asked her not to.

    We seem to be doing better now, but I feel it's really only because we both have jobs occupying us. We don't have the energy to scream at each other.

  16. It’s like you see what they’re doing right before your eyes yet you still keep quiet – because we’re afraid to lose the relationship. It’s a sad place to be as the victim. We must escape, educate ourselves and pursue our own emotional health so we won’t fall into another toxic relationship. It’s truly devastating and harmful to be in a relationship like that.

  17. Until somone is actually, genuinely insane, and they make you out to be doing these things because…… they actually are dead set nut cases and actually are delusional, paranoid and have memory loss, then what do you do?

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